At this point I literally beg for death. Why am I suffering like this? Every fucking day I get kicked in the gut by life. My life is a never ending string of misery that just keeps on giving. I am getting fucking mad just writing about this shit, every time I make some plan to fucking improve my life it just falls through. All the fucking memes about therapy can go fuck themselves therapy is just a waste of time I don't need fucker foids with useless degrees telling me what is wrong with me I know exactly what is wrong with me and every attempt at fixing it just ends up as failure.
I can cope, I can pretend it's not that bad. But as soon as I have contact with somebody whos life is not totally fucked I am painfully reminded just how pathetic I am. How much it enrages me yet it is me who fails all this time but what the fuck can I do I fucking try I tried really hard. What the fuck am I supposed to do anymore.
I really feel so pathetic compared to my family. They are lifemaxxed, go holiday and wed every fucking other day. Have lots of friends and family they meet up with. My life is hell. I know nobody. I don't even have 1 fucking friend. Not even fucking one. The only friends I could make are the type that take advantage of you and laugh behind your back.
I don't have a single happy memory. None. Not 1. When joker said in the movie that all he has are negative thoughts that line really fucking hit me because that is literally me. Imagine spending your entire day tortured by your thought sand how pathetic your life is imagine that shit every fucking day of your life It is amazing I am even still alive at this point tbh. Every time I go outside I feel like utter complete shit everybody looking at me, I don't have a purpose, no friends... All this people hanging out together, holding hands...
You know... I could take it, I could take all of this. But if life left me the fuck alone, I would just cope alone and die alone like I will anyway. But that is not enough, at every fucking opportunity, every FUCKING TIME. Life decides to FUCK ME OVER. EVERYTHING GOES FUCKING WRONG. I GET ROBBED, SHIT GOES MISSING, I GET BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING.
I did not have anybody thank me for anything I did for few years now. Everybody is fucking out to get me. Why the fuck is it me. What did I do to deserve this pathetic existence? I don't even know what to do with my life anymore. By the time I blink twice I'll be 30 and my life will be just as miserable as it is now.
I don't want this. I don't fucking want this. I tried so many things and it all fails. I am not even human anymore. Nobody treats me like a human. I would be better off dead tbh ded srs.
I am really thinking about killing myself. I just have few loose ends to tie. I promised myself I will go SEA so I will do that first before I try to kill myself. Then Idk, what is the point of living life like that?
I can understand people have hardships in life, but to fucking endure a life of nothing but pure fucking misery every day EVERY FUCKING DAY OF MY LIFE FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS... WHAT IS THE POINT
TELL ME WHAT THE POINT OF THAT? I better be dead than fucking in constant pain and suffering.
Not feeling anything > feeling never ending misery.
I CANT FUCKING REMEMBER
A SINGLE HAPPY MEMORY IN THE LAST 6 YEARS...
NOT 1
NOT FUCKING 1
NOT EVEN 1
Its so fucking over. How do I even go on living? How fucking how it's so fucking over I just wanna die honestly.
I can cope, I can pretend it's not that bad. But as soon as I have contact with somebody whos life is not totally fucked I am painfully reminded just how pathetic I am. How much it enrages me yet it is me who fails all this time but what the fuck can I do I fucking try I tried really hard. What the fuck am I supposed to do anymore.
I really feel so pathetic compared to my family. They are lifemaxxed, go holiday and wed every fucking other day. Have lots of friends and family they meet up with. My life is hell. I know nobody. I don't even have 1 fucking friend. Not even fucking one. The only friends I could make are the type that take advantage of you and laugh behind your back.
I don't have a single happy memory. None. Not 1. When joker said in the movie that all he has are negative thoughts that line really fucking hit me because that is literally me. Imagine spending your entire day tortured by your thought sand how pathetic your life is imagine that shit every fucking day of your life It is amazing I am even still alive at this point tbh. Every time I go outside I feel like utter complete shit everybody looking at me, I don't have a purpose, no friends... All this people hanging out together, holding hands...
You know... I could take it, I could take all of this. But if life left me the fuck alone, I would just cope alone and die alone like I will anyway. But that is not enough, at every fucking opportunity, every FUCKING TIME. Life decides to FUCK ME OVER. EVERYTHING GOES FUCKING WRONG. I GET ROBBED, SHIT GOES MISSING, I GET BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING.
I did not have anybody thank me for anything I did for few years now. Everybody is fucking out to get me. Why the fuck is it me. What did I do to deserve this pathetic existence? I don't even know what to do with my life anymore. By the time I blink twice I'll be 30 and my life will be just as miserable as it is now.
I don't want this. I don't fucking want this. I tried so many things and it all fails. I am not even human anymore. Nobody treats me like a human. I would be better off dead tbh ded srs.
I am really thinking about killing myself. I just have few loose ends to tie. I promised myself I will go SEA so I will do that first before I try to kill myself. Then Idk, what is the point of living life like that?
I can understand people have hardships in life, but to fucking endure a life of nothing but pure fucking misery every day EVERY FUCKING DAY OF MY LIFE FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS... WHAT IS THE POINT
TELL ME WHAT THE POINT OF THAT? I better be dead than fucking in constant pain and suffering.
Not feeling anything > feeling never ending misery.
I CANT FUCKING REMEMBER
A SINGLE HAPPY MEMORY IN THE LAST 6 YEARS...
NOT 1
NOT FUCKING 1
NOT EVEN 1
Its so fucking over. How do I even go on living? How fucking how it's so fucking over I just wanna die honestly.
