SuicideFuel I cant think of worse suicidefuel

[Antisocialloner]

Than looking at yourself in the video monitor at the self checkout at Target. Holy fuck my deformed dimensions are even more prominent on it. In such a fragile state of mind it makes me want to jump in front of a train seeing how fucking ugly I am.

JFL

 

[Black Soul]

NoReplyCel = truecel
Don't suicide bro

 

[Iwanttolive]

I once saw myself in those footage before I knew anything abt the blkpill, my brain quickly pretended it was ok n zoned it out

 

[Deleted member 22801]

Whenever I see myself talking in a video, I feel disgust at myself.

Back in 2016 I was going to go to a TV programme called "First Dates". I was a 24 year-old KHHV and thought that maybe it would be fun or that I could even ascend thanks to it. I had to record a two minute video introducing myself, when I saw it, I felt extremely disgusted. Awkward, ugly, cringe. I decided not to go to that stupid TV show.

 

[Antisocialloner]

Whenever I see myself talking in a video, I feel disgust at myself.

Back in 2016 I was going to go to a TV programme called "First Dates". I was a 24 year-old KHHV and thought that maybe it would be fun or that I could even ascend thanks to it. I had to record a two minute video introducing myself, when I saw it, I felt extremely disgusted. Awkward, ugly, cringe. I decided not to go to that stupid TV show.

That kinda triggered me. I have a bad memory of myself on video in some school project where I looked incredibly hideous

 

[Deleted member 27495]

a few years ago i was to go forced on "Vacation" with my family, and despite me telling them not to, they took pictures of me behind my back and literally had the audacity to text them to me later saying i dont look as "bad" as i say.

I looked worse than even i imagined myself to be i was utterly repulsed by my appearance, that's also the first time i grasped how truly subhuman my frame is, and how unbelievably small my wrists are. I immediately understood why people have been treating me like shit for my entire life i was grounded so hard in reality and my ego was shattered so much that i was in deep despair for the rest of the day crying and fantasizing about suicide, i dont think i ever recovered from the mental devastation of that shit. i cant erase the horror from my mind, i still have the pics saved and i looked at them sometimes out of morbid curiosity and to remind myself that i am genetic garbage.

 

[Antisocialloner]

a few years ago i was to go forced on "Vacation" with my family, and despite me telling them not to, they took pictures of me behind my back and literally had the audacity to text them to me later saying i dont look as "bad" as i say.

I looked worse than even i imagined myself to be i was utterly repulsed by my appearance, that's also the first time i grasped how truly subhuman my frame is, and how unbelievably small my wrists are. I immediately understood why people have been treating me like shit for my entire life i was grounded so hard in reality and my ego was shattered so much that i was in deep despair for the rest of the day crying and fantasizing about suicide, i dont think i ever recovered from the mental devastation of that shit. i cant erase the horror from my mind, i still have the pics saved and i looked at them sometimes out of morbid curiosity and to remind myself that i am genetic garbage.

That's horrifying and true suifuel. I'm sorry you went through that. I havesimilar experiences. That kind of shit can scar you for life

a few years ago i was to go forced on "Vacation" with my family, and despite me telling them not to, they took pictures of me behind my back and literally had the audacity to text them to me later saying i dont look as "bad" as i say.

I looked worse than even i imagined myself to be i was utterly repulsed by my appearance, that's also the first time i grasped how truly subhuman my frame is, and how unbelievably small my wrists are. I immediately understood why people have been treating me like shit for my entire life i was grounded so hard in reality and my ego was shattered so much that i was in deep despair for the rest of the day crying and fantasizing about suicide, i dont think i ever recovered from the mental devastation of that shit. i cant erase the horror from my mind, i still have the pics saved and i looked at them sometimes out of morbid curiosity and to remind myself that i am genetic garbage.

Totally unrelated: But has Satanism been beneficial to you at all? Being an incel.

 

[Deleted member 27495]

Totally unrelated: But has Satanism been beneficial to you at all? Being an incel.

i dont really 100% believe in any mysticism or religion but i find comfort in the dark/gothic and hopeless culture surrounding the idea satanism, it helps me cope with the loneliness and social isolation. i got drawn into it when i started reading on the motives of certain serial killers and other murderers and i truly started sympathizing with all, as i also had a stressful upbringing filled with criticism and judgement and i was always the victim of humiliation in school and thats when i started to become reclusive to the point of not having any contacts or anyone to talk to in real life and now my patterns of thinking have become distorted and sometimes i get very bad intrusive thoughts and have no where to vent them. i guess i mean to say it helps me feel at peace with the burning anger and hatred i have for the world.

 

[Antisocialloner]

i dont really 100% believe in any mysticism or religion but i find comfort in the dark/gothic and hopeless culture surrounding the idea satanism, it helps me cope with the loneliness and social isolation. i got drawn into it when i started reading on the motives of certain serial killers and other murderers and i truly started sympathizing with all, as i also had a stressful upbringing filled with criticism and judgement and i was always the victim of humiliation in school and thats when i started to become reclusive to the point of not having any contacts or anyone to talk to in real life and now my patterns of thinking have become distorted and sometimes i get very bad intrusive thoughts and have no where to vent them. i guess i mean to say it helps me feel at peace with the burning anger and hatred i have for the world.

Thanks for the insight brocel