Dnr; title
I will never see a recovery period from anything in my life, escape is way too impossible to achieve; I'm 26 now and i'm starting to get a back hump and my brain is so fried that I misspell words constantly now and can barely even talk without sounding like a slow retard. It wasn't this bad before.
I spent my entire teens and prime years jerking off most days; my dick is completely veiny and gross now because it gets fucked by my hand and not by the walls of a pussy like it was intended, what girl would want to have that in her? also even if i got the chance to fuck i'd just ruin it all due to retardation which i built up by laying in my bed on my phone constantly or playing video games which rotted my brain making it slow and lazy, no job, never had one and i barely even tried to get one and been a NEET ever since 2017 only going to trade school in 2019 for a year to get a certificate that means nothing especially now because its 5 years old, even no experience entry level jobs will want me because i'm 26 and they'll want a school leaver who is fresher and isn't a sperg who did nothing for nearly a decade. Even my parents are truly starting to realise I had 8 years to build a life and I didn't. I waited too long.
I'm only going to get worse with age, health defects, mental and physical and lack of life experience at an age where its just so abnormal, i'm behind 99% of people. I will never recover, I will always be thinking about the dark years and the many dark years to come. It's going to take years to really put in the work to do anything at this point and honestly, i don't want to because i'm a coward, but lets be real; nothing would change apart from being able to access the "least I tried" copium, i knew it was going to be like this from the get go. There was so many things I wanted to do, so much things I should've done, so many things I wanted to be. I guess I'll never know what it would've been like.
I will never see a recovery period from anything in my life, escape is way too impossible to achieve; I'm 26 now and i'm starting to get a back hump and my brain is so fried that I misspell words constantly now and can barely even talk without sounding like a slow retard. It wasn't this bad before.
I spent my entire teens and prime years jerking off most days; my dick is completely veiny and gross now because it gets fucked by my hand and not by the walls of a pussy like it was intended, what girl would want to have that in her? also even if i got the chance to fuck i'd just ruin it all due to retardation which i built up by laying in my bed on my phone constantly or playing video games which rotted my brain making it slow and lazy, no job, never had one and i barely even tried to get one and been a NEET ever since 2017 only going to trade school in 2019 for a year to get a certificate that means nothing especially now because its 5 years old, even no experience entry level jobs will want me because i'm 26 and they'll want a school leaver who is fresher and isn't a sperg who did nothing for nearly a decade. Even my parents are truly starting to realise I had 8 years to build a life and I didn't. I waited too long.
I'm only going to get worse with age, health defects, mental and physical and lack of life experience at an age where its just so abnormal, i'm behind 99% of people. I will never recover, I will always be thinking about the dark years and the many dark years to come. It's going to take years to really put in the work to do anything at this point and honestly, i don't want to because i'm a coward, but lets be real; nothing would change apart from being able to access the "least I tried" copium, i knew it was going to be like this from the get go. There was so many things I wanted to do, so much things I should've done, so many things I wanted to be. I guess I'll never know what it would've been like.
its all too brural
