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i cant even ascend in my dreams

Very brootal if you get even rejected in your dreams
 
Maybe learning to induce lucid dreams might help.
 
I sometimes can ascend in dreams but all attempts are bad.
I either don't feel anything (eventually it makes me question it and I wake up), she turns into something causing my disgust (often forcing me to keep going), I'm watched and judged or it gets stopped for some reason
 

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