I am afraid of losing my SOUL and humanity after my parents will die of old age. I am only human through my interactions with them

[NEB.feelsdevil]

I can only feel like a normal human through interactions with my parents.

They don't care that I am ugly. They don't care I am an autistic loser. They don't care I stink. They love and support me unconditionally. I am lucky to have supportive parents.

They are the only two beings on the planet who don't cause me anxiety when I interact with them. I feel at ease near them. They are the only two beings who see me and truly acknowledge my existence.

They think actively of me. They ask me if I want a particular snack when they go to the store. My mom is concerned about me being cold when I go outside in the winter.

I can experience life as a normal human through interactions with them and this is the proof I need to know that I have a SOUL. Having a SOUL keeps me from becoming feral. I am afraid I will lose my humanity when they pass away.

It will be unimaginably painful when I lose them and I know I will never be the same after that. I cannot bear that thought.

I know I am not a human without them. I will become a ghost. No one will ever think actively of me. I will never be in anyone's thoughts again. I will never be anyone's priority.

I don't know what I will do alone after they die. I have literally known them my entire life. They have been part of my entire life, they helped me at every step.

How can I be a human without them?

@reveries

 

[NEB.feelsdevil]

They are the only ones who don't hate me for being ugly. I can exist peacefully nearby them. I don't upset them with my body.

 

[SilentShadow]

Im fucked when my family dies as im too autistic and useless to survive on my own.

 

[sk.feelsdevil]

I am afraid I will lose my humanity when they pass away.

How much longer do you suspect that they'll live?

If it is more than 15 years don't worry about it. As I said I have some family near you and I plan on retiring by then at their shitty rural house. I'll take care of you.

 

[NEB.feelsdevil]

Im fucked when my family dies as im too autistic and useless to survive on my own.

When I don't know something, I ask my parents. I ask my parents for pieces of advice.

Sometimes, I ask ChatGPT. After they both die, I will only be able to ask ChatGPT.

 

[NEB.feelsdevil]

How much longer do you suspect that they'll live?

5-7 years

 

[sk.feelsdevil]

5-7 years

Damn. So little?
Are they in their 70s?

 

[NEB.feelsdevil]

Damn. So little?
Are they in their 70s?

Late 60s, poor health, obese.

 

[SilentShadow]

When I don't know something, I ask my parents. I ask my parents for pieces of advice.

Sometimes, I ask ChatGPT. After they both die, I will only be able to ask ChatGPT.

ChatGPT gives better advice then anyone in my life unfortunately its not blackpilled enough

 

[sk.feelsdevil]

Late 60s, poor health, obese.

Oh, that's nothing. My grandma has been obese and in poor health for all I can remember. She's currently celebrating her 87th birthday.

You still have time, plenty of it.

 

[yeetbender.koala]

Enjoy psychosis lol.

 

[NEB.feelsdevil]

You still have time, plenty of it.

 

[sk.feelsdevil]

Don't worry about it. Least of all about being feral, nothing really bad about it. I'll have your back!

 

[SuperKanga.Belgrade]

They are the only ones who don't hate me for being ugly. I can exist peacefully nearby them. I don't upset them with my body.

I'm sorry fren

Hopefully they live longer then you anticipate. I know how important family is.

I hope .is is still around by then because I feel the same way about you guys.

Me and my family don't really get along sadly, but here I feel safe.

 

[SilentShadow]

I can only feel like a normal human through interactions with my parents.

They don't care that I am ugly. They don't care I am an autistic loser. They don't care I stink. They love and support me unconditionally. I am lucky to have supportive parents.

They are the only two beings on the planet who don't cause me anxiety when I interact with them. I feel at ease near them. They are the only two beings who see me and truly acknowledge my existence.

They think actively of me. They ask me if I want a particular snack when they go to the store. My mom is concerned about me being cold when I go outside in the winter.

I can experience life as a normal human through interactions with them and this is the proof I need to know that I have a SOUL. Having a SOUL keeps me from becoming feral. I am afraid I will lose my humanity when they pass away.

It will be unimaginably painful when I lose them and I know I will never be the same after that. I cannot bear that thought.

I know I am not a human without them. I will become a ghost. No one will ever think actively of me. I will never be in anyone's thoughts again. I will never be anyone's priority.

I don't know what I will do alone after they die. I have literally known them my entire life. They have been part of my entire life, they helped me at every step.

How can I be a human without them?

@reveries

Im in a similar situation with my grandparents who are in their early 70s and ive always had better relations with them than with my mom.

I'll probably become genuinely depressed once they die.

 

[UnchargedSamsung]

Do you have siblings or are you an only child?

 

[superpsycho]

my parents are basically my best friends at this point, nobody else in this world acknowledges my existence anymore

 

[superpsycho]

Im fucked when my family dies as im too autistic and useless to survive on my own.

 

[NEB.feelsdevil]

Do you have siblings or are you an only child?

I am now an only child

 

[reveries]

I'm in a similar situation brocel, my parents will too die pretty soon, ten years left tops. Except that they both abandoned me in my early 20's I've learned to be on my own since

Honestly the only practical thing I can think of is, making sure they live as long and as healthy as possible, since they mean the world to you. I'd literally force them to fully retire to reduce stress as much as possible, eat the healthiest diet possible, do a shit ton of medical check ups et cetera. I have a lot of hope in future medical advancements, that will probably come pretty soon with the help of AI, so there's that too

 

[TooSomething]

On one hand it will be a relief when my parents die because they have brought me pain and suffering mostly by being absolute incompetent pieces of shit who also refuse to acknowledge that.
On the other hand it would be sad because I never really had parents whom I'd miss when they'd eventually die.

It's like having biological parents but not having actual parents who do what parents should be doing.

 

[TheGrayWolf]

Same here but for me it’s only my mother.
I don’t want to kms bc I don’t want to hurt her.

 

[reveries]

It's like having biological parents but not having actual parents who do what parents should be doing.

Yeah, very very relatable. It's weird seeing other 30+ people using sentences like "just chilled with my dad", "mom helped me buy this thing" and such, I can't even imagine what it feels like. To me a "parent" is something that bosses you around while you're a kid untill your late teens/early twenties, and that's it, after that age it's gone, you're an adult and alone.
While people actually still hang out with their parents while they're fucking 50 or something, if they're lucky to have normal adequate parents of course some otherworldly shit

 

[boneless goblin]

they hate me cuz im autistic and ugly

 

[SickWeakCoward]

I hope they both outlive you, cool guy.

 

[NEB.feelsdevil]

I hope they both outlive you, cool guy.

I feel it in my bones that I will not live past 45

 

[SickWeakCoward]

I feel it in my bones that I will not live past 45

I hope i won't live to see my 31st birthday, which is next month.