Ever since I got involved with the incel communities, I constantly come to a point where it just becomes too much for me. My brain can only ingest so many blackpills before turning into mush, downgrading basic cognitive functions that every person, incel or not, needs to perform in order to be. Strange, because is not the truths themselves that are hard to accept. In fact, the way I see it, the foundation of the blackpill is built upon basic common sense and personal honesty. Like no shit looks matter, no shit women have an overbearing advantage in the dating market, no shit reality is bleak and hollow. I knew this shit way before I even knew what inceldom was.
It's not the blackpills that are bitter to swallow, it's the fact that I have to swallow them in the first place. It feels almost automatic at this point. Wake up, open incels.is (or r/incels before the whole banning fiasco), read shit that covers everything I already know in varying forms and degrees of depth and complexity. How many times does one have to assimilate the obvious? Why even waste so much time doing it? It's like reading the same book, with its same analyses and its same reviews and its same commentaries over and over and over and over. You just have to eventually cut it out and move on to reading something else if you don't want to become absolutely insane.
So every now and then, I just stop. I delete my internet history, I delete my incel accounts and just try and do... Whatever, but anything. Always the same pattern: Great at first, it seems like I can finally live a virtually normal life. Then time goes by, and it happens: I get aware of shit. I observe the reality that surrounds me. I make connections to incel theory and discussions. I crave a social outlet in which to share and compliment my thoughts. And before I realize, I already have a new account and a new comment on an incel forum.
Sometimes I wish that I didn't have this human need for social validation of my thoughts. It's because of those that I keep coming back in order to read and write shit that's just a copy of a copy of a copy. I wish it could all just stop.
It's not the blackpills that are bitter to swallow, it's the fact that I have to swallow them in the first place. It feels almost automatic at this point. Wake up, open incels.is (or r/incels before the whole banning fiasco), read shit that covers everything I already know in varying forms and degrees of depth and complexity. How many times does one have to assimilate the obvious? Why even waste so much time doing it? It's like reading the same book, with its same analyses and its same reviews and its same commentaries over and over and over and over. You just have to eventually cut it out and move on to reading something else if you don't want to become absolutely insane.
So every now and then, I just stop. I delete my internet history, I delete my incel accounts and just try and do... Whatever, but anything. Always the same pattern: Great at first, it seems like I can finally live a virtually normal life. Then time goes by, and it happens: I get aware of shit. I observe the reality that surrounds me. I make connections to incel theory and discussions. I crave a social outlet in which to share and compliment my thoughts. And before I realize, I already have a new account and a new comment on an incel forum.
Sometimes I wish that I didn't have this human need for social validation of my thoughts. It's because of those that I keep coming back in order to read and write shit that's just a copy of a copy of a copy. I wish it could all just stop.
