Got into an argument with my dad last night lmao
Im trying to sleep but keep waking up pretty shit
Idk just getting by
I'm okay
Try alcohol
I don't want to become an alcoholic
Played Russian Roulette with a toy bullet but I'm alright.
I got really drunk last night and have work in 2 hours. It’s a double. I want to stay in bed and cry.
I kind of had a migrane but Its going away now
Im stressed because My head is starting to noticeably bald now maybe Due to fin shed or just further balding So Im annoyed about that and paranoid about it being genuine balding
I guess Im alright I just wish I didnt keep getting fucked over in life
Im feeling extremely demotivated today and even though I told myself to take a break from this forum and the internet in general I just can't because Im addicted
I wonder what genuinely playing russian roulette would feel like
To even be in the mindset to be willing to play that is crazy to think about
The things that must have pushed you to that are unimaginable
Each person playing would have experienced a horrible life
Imagine sitting there and playing it with a few other guys
You've all lived brutal lives to even think about playing something like this
You have all been pushed to the point where you don’t value your life at all and just want to die you don’t even care about the meaningless death that you could face if You end up being the one that ends up with the bullet
You all sit around a table completely defeated and done with life passing around a revolver until one of you ends up with his brains blown out slumped over the table
View: https://youtu.be/OuGSXflBoWU?si=YenuyLytL0ztQcuH
Or maybe its like how it is in this scene
An entire crowd of uncaring people watching trying to get a thrill out of what your depression has lead to
You die just to entertain them
they cheer as your lifeless corpse is bleeding over the table
Such a depressing way to die
What would taking a break from here or the internet even do??
Im spending too much time online and I feel like Im wasting my life away. I have long term goals and projects Im supposed to work on but Im unable to finish anything because of my internet addiction. All I do everyday is watch videos on youtube, browse on here and playing mobile videogames (because I can't even afford a good PC)
Are the goals actually achievable though??
Some people set unrealistic goals but Im guessing since you are blackpilled you know what you can realistically achieve
I guess just try to ignore this shit for awhile if achieving this goal is genuinely worthwhile to you
But don’t blame yourself if you cant since being lazy Is a genetic trait
Being addicted to the internet is probably also a trait influenced by your genes and by your life as an incel so I dont know if you will be able to change that but hopefully you can
you are also probably depressed and unmotivated since you are blackpilled so this will make working on your goal harder then it would be for a normie or a chad
We all have so many factors against us with any goals we want to achieve
Yes exactly. If I was a chad or even just a normie I wouldn't be a depressed doomer rotting at home unable to finish anything he starts because I would have the good genetics on my side but since I was born stupid and ugly everything is a 100 times harder. It truly is life on nightmare mode and the worst part is I was most likely just unlucky so I didn't really deserve this boring depressive life
My goals are mostly related to moneymaxxing, studying and surgerymaxxing. I see this as a ticket to a better life, not necessarily as an escape from inceldom itself
Do u work?
I mean those goals could be unrealistic based on your situation
If you have low iq like you said it might be hard to moneymaxx and you might not do that well and when it comes to surgery if you don’t have the right base there isnt really any point getting surgery
I will try even if I have a low IQ which by the way I never even tested to be honest. And lookswise Im a 4,5/10, that is the rating I got so my hope is that I can go up to atleast a 5/10 with surgeries
Shitty, like every day
O
Maybe you could achieve your goals then
Atleast you still have some drive
I have things I want to do But I genuinely cba because I know nothing will come from it
Erry single dayyy
Hot
Slowdive rocks
I do have some drive and a slither of hope because Im a youngcel but I can imagine that drive will fade away the older I get.
Its all about genetics at the end of the day
Im a youngcel too but My genes are just too shit for me to feel like there is any point in doing anything
Depending on how shit your life has been it can kick in while you are young
Ive been fucked over in most things in life so my chances of achieving anything I want is low So I cba doing shit
Hopefully you can achieve your goals but prepare yourself for if it doesn’t happen
That is brutal. Yes exactly, sometimes there is literally nothing you can do but if you can then it would be a waste not to try what you realistically can try
Thanks brocel. And yes Im always ready for anything including failure
Alright today because I actually slept, but yesterday was horrible because I only had 3 hours of sleep and woke up 3 times during that short sleep. Gonna try to work on a bad engine on one of my riding mowers
I don’t think theres anything I can do tbh
I have flaws in nearly everything you can think of
I hope theres something I can do to improve my life even If I stay as an incel
I just want to be able to enjoy my life and actually experience some good shit in my life before I die
What do you plan to do if you succeed in all your goals??
Find better copes, travel around the world, get treated better by people around me and possibly ascend by geomaxxing. And I have some other projects which I don't want to talk about with anyone until the right time comes
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