I used all sorts of expressions to designate my parents' bullshit growing up.
Monkey Wrenches: When I had a good day planned, but they came along at the last minute and demolished the whole thing.
Falling Cannonballs: When I knew bullshit was impending, but I didn't know exactly when.
Chore Spammers: When I finished one chore just for them to assign me another one right after, effectively trapping me in a Sisyphean loop.
Double Standard Dipshits: Making me do 90% of the hard jobs while my younger sisters got to put their pampered feet up and do pretty much fuck all.
Fake Niceness Santioners: Making me interact with my extended family as if that's part of my character. As real as plastic.
Presentability Pretenders: Making me dress up even when unneeded as if wearing formal clothes when I don't need to is part of my character.
Forced Attendance: Making me attend my sisters' events and participate in other OPTIONAL things, when I could've cared less about all of them.
Pointless Regulators: Setting limits on how long I could play my PS4 for when it literally affects no one except me and not even in a negative way.
Expert Mental Gymnasts: Claiming my PS4 was a "fire hazard" as an excuse to take it away when it somehow wasn't for the first year I had it, while at the same time turning a blind eye to the other electronics that should also be "fire hazards" by proxy. When this double standard was pointed out, they made up even more lies out of thin air.
Overprotective Cowards: By far the worst one yet. Because of the idea that I should've been kept away from teens my at-the-time age, due to "Muh luv 4 u n shiet", I have remained a driverless virgin to the age of 22.
VVG Theory Believers: Shorthand for "Violent Video Game Theory Believers". Didn't let me have the same childhood experience of playing COD and other shooter games because they believed the myth about violent video games. Moot point since I had no way of accessing guns even if that was true.
Homing Missile Speakers: For when I try to non-verbally end a conversation through minimal interaction or flat-out ignoring them but they don't take the hint (or tactfully ignore it) and just keep on talking.
Monkey Wrenches: When I had a good day planned, but they came along at the last minute and demolished the whole thing.
Falling Cannonballs: When I knew bullshit was impending, but I didn't know exactly when.
Chore Spammers: When I finished one chore just for them to assign me another one right after, effectively trapping me in a Sisyphean loop.
Double Standard Dipshits: Making me do 90% of the hard jobs while my younger sisters got to put their pampered feet up and do pretty much fuck all.
Fake Niceness Santioners: Making me interact with my extended family as if that's part of my character. As real as plastic.
Presentability Pretenders: Making me dress up even when unneeded as if wearing formal clothes when I don't need to is part of my character.
Forced Attendance: Making me attend my sisters' events and participate in other OPTIONAL things, when I could've cared less about all of them.
Pointless Regulators: Setting limits on how long I could play my PS4 for when it literally affects no one except me and not even in a negative way.
Expert Mental Gymnasts: Claiming my PS4 was a "fire hazard" as an excuse to take it away when it somehow wasn't for the first year I had it, while at the same time turning a blind eye to the other electronics that should also be "fire hazards" by proxy. When this double standard was pointed out, they made up even more lies out of thin air.
Overprotective Cowards: By far the worst one yet. Because of the idea that I should've been kept away from teens my at-the-time age, due to "Muh luv 4 u n shiet", I have remained a driverless virgin to the age of 22.
VVG Theory Believers: Shorthand for "Violent Video Game Theory Believers". Didn't let me have the same childhood experience of playing COD and other shooter games because they believed the myth about violent video games. Moot point since I had no way of accessing guns even if that was true.
Homing Missile Speakers: For when I try to non-verbally end a conversation through minimal interaction or flat-out ignoring them but they don't take the hint (or tactfully ignore it) and just keep on talking.
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