My performance in studies was strong and i used to excel in my academic endeavours. I knew i was ugly since early primary school, but i just accepted my fate with a stoic attitude and was able to persevere through studies due to emotional detachment from my hopeless situation. I tried really hard to emotion-suppress and just put my feelings aside so i could concentrate on my tasks at hand, and for a long time it worked, i graduated from high school as a high achiever. I used to cope, thinking that although i was/am severely disadvantaged due to my appearance, at the very least by putting in significant effort in class, i could compensate for it through academic excellence which i could use to eventually gain employment in a respected, reputable/prestigious, well-paying occupation, thereby attracting a woman who would overlook my genetic shortcomings.
I received an offer to a decent university, in which i was doing by-far the most difficult course. I viewed this as a fresh-start and although the workload of my course limited me from capitalizing on the majority of opportunities to meet new people at uni events/parties/functions etc. whenever i could, i'd make sure to attend. Looking back, i wish i'd just immersed myself in my studies without ever going to these events/parties/functions, because when i did go, it changed my world-view completely and my blue-pilled delusions were shattered.
In the few parties etc. i went to, i was ignored completely by nearly everyone (male and female). Some people made their disgust towards me clear, they didnt even try to hide it. I was just standing around like a loser while surrounded by normies and chads, who were hooking up with the same females who were disgusted by me and had rejected me, viewing me as an inferior man on the basis of my appearance alone. I began to feel hopeless. What was the point of working so hard, slaving away for years at educational institutions, just for my achievements to be ignored and for my accomplishments to remain unrecognised because my value amongst my own species was determined by my exterior traits which were out of my control?
I began to go crazy when i realised just how little control i had over my own life. My treatment in society was solely determined by factors i had no control of, nothing i could do/achieve would change that. The illusion of being able to shape and mould my reality into whatever form i desired, dissipated into thin air, instead being replaced by the cold realization that the trajectory of my life was pre-determined through genetics and influenced by other external factors, namely environment.
This was my conclusion: Young women are usually financially supported by their family/government and if that isnt the case, they will be supported by men who will buy them gifts, pay for their expenses etc. So young women dont care about resources, they care only about pleasure, which they will seek to fulfill by finding the best looking men (which we clearly are not).
Women only care about wealth/money once they reach a certain age (usually 30+), by which time they had ridden the cock-carousel for nearly half their existence. By this age, they've already enjoyed their youth and given themselves during their prime to superior men (who are no longer attracted to them), so their primary focus in life is no longer about seeking short-term hedonistic pleasure, but about long-term financial stability which translates to a more comfortable life, which causes them to prioritise a man's resources over his appearance.
So as an unattractive man with money, you will live a sexless youth studying/working hard while young women during their prime gave themselves to superior men FOR FREE and by the time you reach an established career, this is your prize after all your hard work: leftover scraps, used goods and un-fresh (likely disease-ridden) holes IF YOU'RE LUCKY, and society actually expects you to be grateful for that.
I pretty much lost all motivation and couldnt leave my house for days. I dropped out of my course and LDARed for 6 months. Then i re-enrolled in uni, but in an easier course which im only studying part-time because i lack that much energy/will-power to achieve anything, knowing that my efforts will yield no reward after beginning to understand the social/sexual dynamics of women.
Modern society has condemned me to a miserable fate and provided literally no incentive to contribute to society as a valued member. I had so much ability, so much intelligence, so much potential for greatness. In a patriarchal society i could have played an active/productive role in society. But in the modern, sick society we live in, im playing a passive/unproductive role as i LDAR and all my positive skills/talents/qualities go to waste.
I received an offer to a decent university, in which i was doing by-far the most difficult course. I viewed this as a fresh-start and although the workload of my course limited me from capitalizing on the majority of opportunities to meet new people at uni events/parties/functions etc. whenever i could, i'd make sure to attend. Looking back, i wish i'd just immersed myself in my studies without ever going to these events/parties/functions, because when i did go, it changed my world-view completely and my blue-pilled delusions were shattered.
In the few parties etc. i went to, i was ignored completely by nearly everyone (male and female). Some people made their disgust towards me clear, they didnt even try to hide it. I was just standing around like a loser while surrounded by normies and chads, who were hooking up with the same females who were disgusted by me and had rejected me, viewing me as an inferior man on the basis of my appearance alone. I began to feel hopeless. What was the point of working so hard, slaving away for years at educational institutions, just for my achievements to be ignored and for my accomplishments to remain unrecognised because my value amongst my own species was determined by my exterior traits which were out of my control?
I began to go crazy when i realised just how little control i had over my own life. My treatment in society was solely determined by factors i had no control of, nothing i could do/achieve would change that. The illusion of being able to shape and mould my reality into whatever form i desired, dissipated into thin air, instead being replaced by the cold realization that the trajectory of my life was pre-determined through genetics and influenced by other external factors, namely environment.
This was my conclusion: Young women are usually financially supported by their family/government and if that isnt the case, they will be supported by men who will buy them gifts, pay for their expenses etc. So young women dont care about resources, they care only about pleasure, which they will seek to fulfill by finding the best looking men (which we clearly are not).
Women only care about wealth/money once they reach a certain age (usually 30+), by which time they had ridden the cock-carousel for nearly half their existence. By this age, they've already enjoyed their youth and given themselves during their prime to superior men (who are no longer attracted to them), so their primary focus in life is no longer about seeking short-term hedonistic pleasure, but about long-term financial stability which translates to a more comfortable life, which causes them to prioritise a man's resources over his appearance.
So as an unattractive man with money, you will live a sexless youth studying/working hard while young women during their prime gave themselves to superior men FOR FREE and by the time you reach an established career, this is your prize after all your hard work: leftover scraps, used goods and un-fresh (likely disease-ridden) holes IF YOU'RE LUCKY, and society actually expects you to be grateful for that.
I pretty much lost all motivation and couldnt leave my house for days. I dropped out of my course and LDARed for 6 months. Then i re-enrolled in uni, but in an easier course which im only studying part-time because i lack that much energy/will-power to achieve anything, knowing that my efforts will yield no reward after beginning to understand the social/sexual dynamics of women.
Modern society has condemned me to a miserable fate and provided literally no incentive to contribute to society as a valued member. I had so much ability, so much intelligence, so much potential for greatness. In a patriarchal society i could have played an active/productive role in society. But in the modern, sick society we live in, im playing a passive/unproductive role as i LDAR and all my positive skills/talents/qualities go to waste.
