Serious How do people make friends?

[DestroyedLife]

Seriously, hiw do they make it ? I had a few friends during my life but it was just lucky and i wouldt call them real friends but i dont know how i managed it. Either way, most of the time i was annoyed of them so i cutted the contact off completely. It was never an enjoyable activity for me, more like stressing over sometjhin to not come across as weird asf. When i talk with some people and i laugh about a joke ( which wasnt obviously funny) but i try to laugh some people sense that something is wrong with me and they treat me different after that. Its hard to describe, but i think some people can sense when youre faking something. Since i was just 1 big fake persona in my life, i dont even know what my real persona is. I guess thats also the reason why i struggle so much with any meaningful connections to others. It baffles me everytime when i see normies out who are having fun with each other together... while i was mostly a lone loser during my entire life.

 

[Zaetheus]

Be NT, usually if you are a loner such as myself most people will try to talk to you.Then they get bored and move on to someone else.Ive actually like being alone now ,it sounds like cope but this is the choice ive made.

 

[Mainländer]

I find it easy to make friends. Since you don't need to be good-looking for it, just shoot the shit really.

I normally just talk and talk and then I suddenly have a new "friend". The fact I'm NT and live in Brazil may be relevant factors for it though.

But friends are something very overrated as an incel. I would give up 5 of my friends to make out with a hot white 14yo JB for one minute.

 

[Zaetheus]

Seriously, hiw do they make it ? I had a few friends during my life but it was just lucky and i wouldt call them real friends but i dont know how i managed it. Either way, most of the time i was annoyed of them so i cutted the contact off completely. It was never an enjoyable activity for me, more like stressing over sometjhin to not come across as weird asf. When i talk with some people and i laugh about a joke ( which wasnt obviously funny) but i try to laugh some people sense that something is wrong with me and they treat me different after that. Its hard to describe, but i think some people can sense when youre faking something. Since i was just 1 big fake persona in my life, i dont even know what my real persona is. I guess thats also the reason why i struggle so much with any meaningful connections to others. It baffles me everytime when i see normies out who are having fun with each other together... while i was mostly a lone loser during my entire life.

what are ur hobbies? Gaming,Drawing, Cars,etc?

 

[TheIncelStaresBack]

being tinder levels of attractive help. you meet girls and their friends become your friends.

 

[Mik_TFL]

It really all comes down to common interests, I joined a local hackerspace just with the intent or making friends, it worked way better than expected, within 5 minutes there I met a guy who pretty much watches the same YouTube channels. I've also noticed it is way easier if there are no women involved... the atmosphere is much more chilled when it's only guys

 

[Damo the incel]

Being nt and also being attractive helps

 

[Newbie17]

They exist, that’s all.

 

[DestroyedLife]

Be NT, usually if you are a loner such as myself most people will try to talk to you.Then they get bored and move on to someone else.Ive actually like being alone now ,it sounds like cope but this is the choice ive made.

Some people talked to me in the past ... but something in my head tells me i should avoid this contact. I have HEAVY trust issues with almost anyone. DOnt ge tme wrong i feel pretty good to 80% being alone and nobody around. But sometimes there is a wish to have a talk with someone, who can understand me a tiny bit.

 

[Charley]

It would make things a lot easier if you had enthusiasm for life. I'm not good at making deep connections either, but in my case, you just start conversations people who don't seem to know anyone else, or they start one with you because you're alone and they're alone too.

 

[DestroyedLife]

I find it easy to make friends. Since you don't need to be good-looking for it, just shoot the shit really.

I normally just talk and talk and then I suddenly have a new "friend". The fact I'm NT and live in Brazil may be relevant factors for it though.

But friends are something very overrated as an incel. I would give up 5 of my friends to make out with a hot white 14yo JB for one minute.

Iam very introverted, i barely talk to others. Most people dont wanna talk to me either.

what are ur hobbies? Gaming,Drawing, Cars,etc?

Gaming, gymcelling, tennis

It really all comes down to common interests, I joined a local hackerspace just with the intent or making friends, it worked way better than expected, within 5 minutes there I met a guy who pretty much watches the same YouTube channels. I've also noticed it is way easier if there are no women involved... the atmosphere is much more chilled when it's only guys

It doesnt matter for me which gender they are... i struggle with both heavily. It snot that iam shy or something, but i just cant build any connection to them. I dont trust them. Sometimes i wanna lose this, because when i see a person who obviously likes me ( which is rarely the case ) iam struggling with me and my inner decisions.

 

[Mainländer]

Iam very introverted, i barely talk to others. Most people dont wanna talk to me either.

That's the reason for your lack of success making friends for sure. People need to trust and like you and for it to happen you need to talk to them. At least for some hours before you can really consider it "friendship".

Once I was invited to a friend's house and there was another guy who lived there with him, I didn't even know it. I started talking like crazy about the fact I had a crush on my female psychologist (it was back when I barely believed that crap and was going to one, but luckily socialist Brazil was the one paying for it and not me). Before I know it, the guy was my friend. We even went out together some times (back when I approached also). He also invited me to the theater once lol.

I have no inhibition with other men. I just talk and talk because I know that neither of us want to fuck the other so my personality really is the thing that matters the most there. Also I don't care about being rejected by other men because I don't need a friend in the same sense that I need sex and romance.

I have inhibition with women because my rejection rate has been 100% through my life (tried literally hundreds of times, cold approach, warm approach, internet, all) and it hurts to be rejected (not as much as some who never approached here think, but it does).

 

[acnescarcel]

through work or school

 

[DestroyedLife]

It would make things a lot easier if you had enthusiasm for life. I'm not good at making deep connections either, but in my case, you just start conversations people who don't seem to know anyone else, or they start one with you because you're alone and they're alone too.

Its hard to feel enthusiasm in life when you feel happy at evening when you didnt get strangled/ shooted in the head that day and you survived another day on this world. I dont wanna see anyone as an enemy you know ? But i see like 99% people as enemies and fiends. Thats why i cant understand how people are able to keep friendships for so long times.

 

[LostMan]

Do you have autism?

 

[Bagelcel]

You fake being NT lol, i was doing this at university this year and i made over 40 friends within 3 months.
People are often calling me to come party with them or do things with them now, i don't really go though cause even though i've learnt how to be NT/Alpha/"Cool" outside in truth as soon as i get hope i'm a depressed and insecure mess lol and very introverted...

 

[DestroyedLife]

That's the reason for your lack of success making friends for sure. People need to trust and like you and for it to happen you need to talk to them. At least for some hours before you can really consider it "friendship".

Once I was invited to a friend's house and there was another guy who lived there with him, I didn't even know it. I started talking like crazy about the fact I had a crush on my female psychologist (it was back when I barely believed that crap and was going to one, but luckily socialist Brazil was the one paying for it and not me). Before I know it, the guy was my friend. We even went out together some times (back when I approached also). He also invited me to the theater once lol.

I have no inhibition with other men. I just talk and talk because I know that neither of us want to fuck the other so my personality really is the thing that matters the most there. Also I don't care about being rejected by other men because I don't need a friend in the same sense that I need sex and romance.

I have inhibition with women because my rejection rate has been 100% through my life (tried literally hundreds of times, cold approach, warm approach, internet, all) and it hurts to be rejected (not as much as some who never approached here think, but it does).

The problem with that is that i feel uncomfortable when i talk with someone i dont know. I have huge trust issues to other humans, because of my past. And i dont fucking know how should i overcome this ? When i feel attacked, i lash out sometimes or react very aggressive. This pushes people even more away from me. They see me as aggressive and uncontrollable, ( what i am sometimes i admit that) but people dont ask for the reason why. They just see the actions someone is making and dont see the deeps truggle behind it.

Do you have autism?

Combined personality disorder...

You fake being NT lol, i was doing this at university this year and i made over 40 friends within 3 months.
People are often calling me to come party with them or do things with them now, i don't really go though cause even though i've learnt how to be NT/Alpha/"Cool" outside in truth as soon as i get hope i'm a depressed and insecure mess lol and very introverted...

I dont wanna have much people around me... just like 2 persons with the same mindset as myself. That would be enough and iam satisfied. I dont really care about being NT or NT people out there.

 

[Charley]

Its hard to feel enthusiasm in life when you feel happy at evening when you didnt get strangled/ shooted in the head that day and you survived another day on this world. I dont wanna see anyone as an enemy you know ? But i see like 99% people as enemies and fiends. Thats why i cant understand how people are able to keep friendships for so long times.

I feel you man. True friends that you could actually look forward to meeting with are too rare. Fulfillment just fades away too quickly.

 

[LostMan]

Combined personality disorder...

It will take deep longterm mental health treatment to undo the trauma for relationships. Best of luck to you.

 

[DestroyedLife]

It will take deep longterm mental health treatment to undo the trauma for relationships. Best of luck to you.

I was in many mental hospitals, but it didnt last for long as i was out there. I seriously thought about hypnosis, maybe this could help me ? I met so many therpaists and psychiatrists that i know their questions and i often manipulate them or give false answers, just because for the fun , even when i know it will fuck me up and doesnt help me in any kind of way. I know it sounds stupid and i wanna talk sometimes about my problems in which i struggle, i wanna scream them out ... but i find myself in lying and manipulating again.

 

[Evildoer]

Social circles, use school/college/whatever life should do the thing. And being NT, of course. I'm somewhat NT, but can't form proper connections with people, it always end up as i want to use them, to get what i want, and then they can fuck off.

 

[VST]

Most people made friends while at school/uni, and just maintained contact. Once you finish education and you're friendless/your social circle is a sausage fest consisting of losers, it's basically over.

 

[Mainländer]

The problem with that is that i feel uncomfortable when i talk with someone i dont know. I have huge trust issues to other humans, because of my past. And i dont fucking know how should i overcome this ? When i feel attacked, i lash out sometimes or react very aggressive. This pushes people even more away from me. They see me as aggressive and uncontrollable, ( what i am sometimes i admit that) but people dont ask for the reason why. They just see the actions someone is making and dont see the deeps truggle behind it.

Well I don't know how you could overcome this. Maybe meds. But know that friends are overrated as an incel. I wish I could get rid of some of mine tbh (too polite to do so).

 

[LostMan]

I was in many mental hospitals, but it didnt last for long as i was out there. I seriously thought about hypnosis, maybe this could help me ? I met so many therpaists and psychiatrists that i know their questions and i often manipulate them or give false answers, just because for the fun , even when i know it will fuck me up and doesnt help me in any kind of way. I know it sounds stupid and i wanna talk sometimes about my problems in which i struggle, i wanna scream them out ... but i find myself in lying and manipulating again.

I understand. It is hard. It is very heavy on the heart and ego as well. We as people do not want to admit how deep the damage continues. You will not go better manipulating. You know this but you do it. This problem is not unique. This is problem in treating personality disorders. You must have all commitment to honesty for it to work.

 

[Evildoer]

too polite to do so

That's a curse, i couldn't even say "no" when i was a kid. People could get absolutely what they wanted from me.

 

[Fungi]

They act the same thats all there is to it.

 

[DestroyedLife]

Social circles, use school/college/whatever life should do the thing. And being NT, of course. I'm somewhat NT, but can't form proper connections with people, it always end up as i want to use them, to get what i want, and then they can fuck off.

My mother forced me asa kid to call other kids, because she couldnt stand to see me playing all day alone when i got home from kindergarten and school. ( elementary school) Since i didnt know how to interact properly with people i just wanted to play on the PC or do activities where we wouldnt talk much to each other. I tried to overcome this issue with jokes and being funny for a little time, cause i legit thought the people would leave me alone after that. Haha But it was the opposite effect, i got more attention and couldnt handle this very well. So i got more depressed and became more and more introverted. When i had to interact with humans it just got worse, i felt a mix of anxiety and rage ( coming up in me everytime ). I just wish there would be someone where i wouldnt have this feelings... .

 

[VisVoi]

It's difficult to make friends if you are the type of person to call people out on their shit. People do not like to be called out, even if they are in the wrong.

 

[Evildoer]

I just wish there would be someone where i wouldnt have this feelings... .

We are all here for you. You have us.

 

[Voidcel]

high iq thread
making friends is depressingly hard and i often cry over the fact that i legitimately have none (reality and online).

 

[DestroyedLife]

It's difficult to make friends if you are the type of person to call people out on their shit. People do not like to be called out, even if they are in the wrong.

I just call them out or lash out, when i feel threatened. The second sentence is another thing i never understood. Do majority of people really think they can do whatever they want without any consequences ? Why are they thinking like that?

We are all here for you. You have us.

Legit.

 

[13k]

I was wondering what movie ur gif and sig were from OP

finally found and watched it

that girl is indeed charming.

 

[DestroyedLife]

high iq thread
making friends is depressingly hard and i often cry over the fact that i legitimately have none (reality and online).

Dont cry man, just keep in mind that there are very few REAL friends outside for you. Better to have 1 or 2 REAL friends as a huge mass of people who will have forgotten about you 2 days after you died.

I was wondering what movie ur gif and sig were from OP

finally found and watched it

that girl is indeed charming.

Did you like the movie ?