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SuicideFuel How bad is your daily life mentally and physically?

ericdraven10101999

ericdraven10101999

It Can’t Rain All The Time
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Joined
Apr 14, 2023
Posts
557
Im out of breath always, and my mind is fucked. How about you ?
 
My life is extremely fucked but I don't care most of the time.
 
I'm anxious and thinking too much.
 
20240121 113607
 
i am on the brink of death
 
1v1 me yugioh i will win now
 
My daily life involves waking up, playing video games, then going to bed. I fucking hate it. I can't talk to people irl and have so much anxiety after being in public I concave my skull inside out against a wall or my fist. I want to be social but I can't. It's only gotten worse as the years progressed from me being a child into adult hood.
 
I was starving myself but I started to get lightheaded and found it hard to walk, so I eat a little now
 
My life is a shitfest. I wish the world will end so I can go er
 
Mentally horrible, I feel something is missing, it’s so horrible I can tell exactly what I’m missing(nt and social connection), and just not have a solution, ropefuel, physically normal
 
I feel physically sick and on the precipice of death all the time
 
there's something forming inside me, a strange and interesting creature waiting to burst out of my chest and fuck the world to death
 
I try to keep busy with exercise, work, and sleep. If I don't sleep I just lay there tired and in my head it is sheer hell. Atleast when im rested I can be on my feet which makes me feel more resilient. It's a life of fighting to have "control" so that my mind doesn't spiral into pure suffering. Copes just make it harder I'm slowly turning into a monk. It beats being hallowed out by cortisol anyways.
 
It's ok. I don't have any hope of making it anymore. No need to stress when I can't do anything about it. Just need a bit of money to buy copes and it'll be alright.
 
I've had extreme fatigue for years but now its slowly getting better.
 
Im a wageslave, i only find time to be miserable after work and on the weekend
 
Work 9-5, 5 days a week and try to go to the gym after work. Cook good food at home too since its a lot cheaper than takeout. Cope by gardening, vidya, and electric guitar. Doing alright but idk how long the good times will last.
 
I'm always zoned out, daydreaming and fantasizing about a different reality.
 
Im out of breath always, and my mind is fucked. How about you ?
Depressing because no hole wants me but I just rot through grad school and leech of my parents so I enjoy nice restaurants every week and hookers (in gta)
 
Its all good until i look in the mirror
 
Im out of breath always, and my mind is fucked. How about you ?
I go to group therapy from 9-1 daily so there manageable . The mental torment from being ugly is something I’ll never really get used to and physically I feel like I’m gonna die all the time
 
mental worse than physical
 
terrible mentally, physically okay
 

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