When I woke up, I just randomly started thinking about high school. The bad part. Where I was treated differently for being in special ed (I’m not special, but I did a lot of stupid things back in middle school which led me to going into that program and to be honest, I wasn’t a good kid… and with that, I had to change to get out of there). I was kinda oblivious until later in my sophomore year, where I was treated like a stupid child by “peer tutors” and was not allowed to cuss talking to one of my friends from class, she snitched on me for saying “fuck”. But that next meeting, I’ve seen these same peers have their fucking discussions about how some girl makes their cock hard, and talking about people in vile ways. After sophomore year, I kept to myself and I pretty much was alone, until I had a peer tutor that treated me like an equal. And that’s when I began having a taste of normality with hanging out and stuff and I made a few friends at the table. When I hurt myself snapping a resistance band into my eye, he was the one to help me to the nurses office. The others peer tutors, which some are thots just stood there like bystanders.
Skip to senior year and thats when things turned upside down. My friends either graduated and all had different lunch periods and classes and one of the two I had left transferred schools after being raped, and another kept getting into detention. That basically meant I was alone. And it didn’t help I was finally in the regular ed classes. I would’ve been a good thing had it not been for what being in special ed sheltered me from. In gym class I was being bullied for the first time since middle school. A guy named “Nico” would make my life hell. Shoulder-checking me, calling me a nigger, and just outright ridiculing me. I would’ve done something had I not have been reformed and trying to be a good stufent and graduate to avoid having my family being angry with me. And it doesn’t help that he’s a foid. The bullying stopped after the first semester as he was no longer in my class, but scars were left on me. I hated going to regular classes as not only were I treated differently by other students, it was the teachers as well. I couldn’t figure out some of them however, like my art teacher. She was nice, but since junior year, I started seeing a glimpse of her favoritism towards the popular students, but for the anime and nerds, she was not too kind. Always gave them trouble. And with my chemistry teacher (he even told me to shut up at one point), same thing, as with my culinary teacher, among fucking others. And it’s become BLATANTLY OBVIOUS when I was a fucking hall-pass monitor. My fucking peer and the staff would fucking converse about their fucking lives, while for me, it was cold and would only talk to me when my peer assistant is out. Which is barely and it’s only about the fucking JOB!!! That was highschool. And honestly, had it not been for the few acquaintances I didn’t want to hurt, had it not been for the fact I was trying to avoid trouble and graduate, had it not been for me wanting to avoid conflict, had it not been for laws, and the tediousness of the task, I would’ve beat them to within an inch of their lives. I don’t care if I couldn’t fight at the time while some of these assholes know kung fu!
I’ve graduated 6 years ago, and I know I’m not in high school anymore, and I know that I’m supposed to be get over it. But I just can’t. The scars are still there, and I’m beyond suicidal and high school is one of my strongest factors. And working doesn’t help as it reminds me just of THIS!!!
Skip to senior year and thats when things turned upside down. My friends either graduated and all had different lunch periods and classes and one of the two I had left transferred schools after being raped, and another kept getting into detention. That basically meant I was alone. And it didn’t help I was finally in the regular ed classes. I would’ve been a good thing had it not been for what being in special ed sheltered me from. In gym class I was being bullied for the first time since middle school. A guy named “Nico” would make my life hell. Shoulder-checking me, calling me a nigger, and just outright ridiculing me. I would’ve done something had I not have been reformed and trying to be a good stufent and graduate to avoid having my family being angry with me. And it doesn’t help that he’s a foid. The bullying stopped after the first semester as he was no longer in my class, but scars were left on me. I hated going to regular classes as not only were I treated differently by other students, it was the teachers as well. I couldn’t figure out some of them however, like my art teacher. She was nice, but since junior year, I started seeing a glimpse of her favoritism towards the popular students, but for the anime and nerds, she was not too kind. Always gave them trouble. And with my chemistry teacher (he even told me to shut up at one point), same thing, as with my culinary teacher, among fucking others. And it’s become BLATANTLY OBVIOUS when I was a fucking hall-pass monitor. My fucking peer and the staff would fucking converse about their fucking lives, while for me, it was cold and would only talk to me when my peer assistant is out. Which is barely and it’s only about the fucking JOB!!! That was highschool. And honestly, had it not been for the few acquaintances I didn’t want to hurt, had it not been for the fact I was trying to avoid trouble and graduate, had it not been for me wanting to avoid conflict, had it not been for laws, and the tediousness of the task, I would’ve beat them to within an inch of their lives. I don’t care if I couldn’t fight at the time while some of these assholes know kung fu!
I’ve graduated 6 years ago, and I know I’m not in high school anymore, and I know that I’m supposed to be get over it. But I just can’t. The scars are still there, and I’m beyond suicidal and high school is one of my strongest factors. And working doesn’t help as it reminds me just of THIS!!!
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