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SuicideFuel Having a deformed tier face is a torture that never ends

R

RageAgainstTDL

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Dec 15, 2017
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After so many years of having a fucked up face, if I had to choose between having a normal average face and getting a girlfriend, I would honestly choose the normal average face. One of my greatest remaining dreams in life is to be able to look in the mirror and see a symmetric well balanced normally structured face. I'm not exactly hideous at this point. I've had surgeries. I can now pass for fairly normal IRL. I can live a fairly normal life except with attracting women. But any surgeon who sees me can instantly tell me the remaining problems with no hesitation because I'm still measurably objectively factually outside the norm.

I remember growing up when my face first started getting messed up in my teens. My house had mirrors everywhere. I couldn't understand why there were so many fucking mirrors. Why would anyone want to see their face everywhere they went? The last thing I wanted was to see my face. I remember staring in the mirror as a teen and trying to figure out what was going on or why my face looked like that, or if there was just some facial expression I could make that would make it normal. But when the bones don't line up it's fucking over and there's nothing you can do.

I remember being asked by my family in pictures why I "keep making that face" in pictures as if I was doing something intentional to look this way. I remember getting surgery and even though it only partially fixed the problem everyone treated me twice as good after. I remember coping about how it only fixed half the problem but that was "probably enough." Well enough to let me live a partly normal life but not to be attractive to women or to be able to look in the mirror with comfort.

Every day shaving still remains torture because I have to look in the mirror intently for at least 5-10 minutes. Every reflective surface in public can hit me like a hammer if the lighting or perspective is bad. I avoid haircuts because they require 20 minutes of straight mirror time. It honestly never gets easier.

And now we live in a world where everything is determined by your ability to take a good photograph, which I can't fucking do no matter what I try. If I had known what I know now I would have gotten a dozen consults before my prior surgery and micromanaged everything to get it perfectly right the first time. Now more surgery is twice as risky and twice as hard and I have other limitations that prevent me from pursuing it.

Part of the reason the bluepill is so dangerous is because it prevents people from dealing with shit like this with the appropriate seriousness. My face has quite literally ruined a massive portion of my life. People raising ugly men to believe this stuff doesn't matter is a fucking crime, because then they don't even have the knowledge or understanding to have a hope of fixing it before it swallows their lives whole.

@muharremabi this is what I was trying to explain to you in PM. And @DeformAspergerCel perhaps you can understand some of what I'm talking about.
 
Same I'm not wanting a gf atm I just want to feel good looking in the mirror instead of terrified, and happy to walk outside
Did you mouthbreath?
 
I remember being asked by my family in pictures why I "keep making that face"
Damn bro I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's over
 
My face is quite average I'd say, nothing bad about it, but I'm 5'3 so we are in the same boat buddy boyo. We just gotta deal with the fact that we're biological machines and a million things that could have gone wrong during our development actually went wrong, just as a highly advanced factories still producing defective products, it's just bound to happen when you throw gazillion of factors into the mix
 
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Having the same condition(although not certain to what degree you had it), I couldn't have said it better myself.
 
Imagine being deformed and autistic like me.
 
Just as high tech companies have quality and supervision departments, so to prevent defective and low quality products, humankind needs its own human quality department so to prevent bringing into this already shitty world defective and low quality specimens such ourselves. We cant let midget subhuman foids reproduce with tall men, creating a sub quality offspring just as we cant let post wall roasties having children with low T betamen .

Too bad eugenics is shunned off by modern (((science))) while still unoficially put in practices by foids
 
After so many years of having a fucked up face, if I had to choose between having a normal average face and getting a girlfriend, I would honestly choose the normal average face. One of my greatest remaining dreams in life is to be able to look in the mirror and see a symmetric well balanced normally structured face. I'm not exactly hideous at this point. I've had surgeries. I can now pass for fairly normal IRL. I can live a fairly normal life except with attracting women. But any surgeon who sees me can instantly tell me the remaining problems with no hesitation because I'm still measurably objectively factually outside the norm.

I remember growing up when my face first started getting messed up in my teens. My house had mirrors everywhere. I couldn't understand why there were so many fucking mirrors. Why would anyone want to see their face everywhere they went? The last thing I wanted was to see my face. I remember staring in the mirror as a teen and trying to figure out what was going on or why my face looked like that, or if there was just some facial expression I could make that would make it normal. But when the bones don't line up it's fucking over and there's nothing you can do.

I remember being asked by my family in pictures why I "keep making that face" in pictures as if I was doing something intentional to look this way. I remember getting surgery and even though it only partially fixed the problem everyone treated me twice as good after. I remember coping about how it only fixed half the problem but that was "probably enough." Well enough to let me live a partly normal life but not to be attractive to women or to be able to look in the mirror with comfort.

Every day shaving still remains torture because I have to look in the mirror intently for at least 5-10 minutes. Every reflective surface in public can hit me like a hammer if the lighting or perspective is bad. I avoid haircuts because they require 20 minutes of straight mirror time. It honestly never gets easier.

And now we live in a world where everything is determined by your ability to take a good photograph, which I can't fucking do no matter what I try. If I had known what I know now I would have gotten a dozen consults before my prior surgery and micromanaged everything to get it perfectly right the first time. Now more surgery is twice as risky and twice as hard and I have other limitations that prevent me from pursuing it.

Part of the reason the bluepill is so dangerous is because it prevents people from dealing with shit like this with the appropriate seriousness. My face has quite literally ruined a massive portion of my life. People raising ugly men to believe this stuff doesn't matter is a fucking crime, because then they don't even have the knowledge or understanding to have a hope of fixing it before it swallows their lives whole.

@muharremabi this is what I was trying to explain to you in PM. And @DeformAspergerCel perhaps you can understand some of what I'm talking about.
I shave my head by myself because I live by myself. And I can’t see behind my head so I have to use iPhone camera for a 2nd mirror with bathroom mirror and I lean and twist really close to the mirror and contort my face to get view of where I’m shaving. While I’m looking for spots I’ve missed though, I can’t help but notice as I’m so close to the mirror, how ugly my facial features are, narrow, pouty and asymmetrical lips, sunken cheekbones and negative eye tilt, thinning eyebrows, potato nose, balding, pathetic looking beta skull. Recessed chin and pubic hair for a beard.


It’s just depressing and disheartening.


I actually had one really good feature as a kid, bright, crystalline blue eyes like you see on gigachads.

Now, they’ve faded completely to a mouldy, bland gray. Miserable looking colour.
 
Absolutely brutal bro.
 
My face is quite average I'd say, nothing bad about it, but I'm 5'3 so we are in the same boat buddy boyo. We just gotta deal with the fact that we're biological machines and a million things that could have gone wrong during our development actually went wrong, just as a highly advanced factories still producing defective products, it's just bound to happen when you throw gazillion of factors into the mix
great way of putting it
 
I feel you OP.
Although
I'm not completely fucked. My nose points left and I am balding asymmetrically.
Just a few millimeters of difference and I would not be incel
 
I understand completely. All I've ever wanted in my life was to look normal, and I too have had countless surgeries attempting to remedy the situation. I can also pass as somewhat normal looking now, like I'm a boxer who's been hit in the face really hard or something, but it wasn't always this way. The years of torment and rejection I had to endure because of the way my face through no fault of my own was, all the assumptions made about me by foids and males alike, people thinking I'm mentally retarded because of my deformity etc. has turned me into a very bitter and, as much as I hate using the term, hateful person. It throws you into a position of being confronted with the worst sides of human nature, realizing that humans are no different from animals in that they too act irrationally and judge you because of things outside your control. Every time a normie socialized with me during highschool, his normie friends would tell him to stop talking to me because it was bad for his reputation and now I have to deal with cucktears telling me that the way I've been treated is my fault and that I should've had a better personality. They can go fuck themselves with their lack of understanding
 
I remember being asked by my family in pictures why I "keep making that face" in pictures as if I was doing something intentional to look this way.
Wtf? Are they mentally retarded or just THAT bluepilled?
 
I've lived with deformity tier face all my life. Also I have severe scar in my arm which is another death sentence. I knew that something was wrong with my face by the time i was 14, but I wasn't aware at that time. I believe mouth breathing is the number one reason why I have so fucked up face because I literally mouth breathed 24/7 during my youth because there was no other way around. Doctors didn't give a fuck about my breathing condition.I had naturally straight teeth, jaw, cheekbones until 10-11 I think. Then within 2-3 years everything is fucked inevitably. I'm mentally and physically fucked and probably will commit suicide If I can't fix this whole fucking mess. I DONT LOOK HUMAN

Truly ugly people are very rare. The only thing I see when I go out is normal looking people. Almost no one has bad teeth or jaws like me. Having a deformed face is a fucking death sentence. Especially if you live in a shithole country with poor parents. Because your only hope is to have a good degree and a good job.(which is impossible for an autistic like me) Reality hit me so hard.

The bad thing is you can't hear anyone around you saying that you're ugly, because people praise beauty, but when they see ugliness, they're left uninterpreted. If your face had a little expense, they would have indicated it. So it takes some time to accept your ugliness. I was 16 when i was blackpilled. After that I always felt suicidal and didn't give a fuck about my grades.

Being physically ugly is the worst test for a person. No matter what you do, you're condemned to be oppressed by society. It immediately gives you social anxiety. You are afraid to look in the mirror, when you turn on the camera, you turn the front camera of the phone to a different side so that you can't see yourself, you take group photos, you always rot at home while your peers go to dinner with each other. And worst of all, in this once-given life, you can never trust yourself and be comfortable among the community, because for them you are only an image pollution that does not blow the storms of thought.

All I wanted in life was to be a normal person with a normal face, but life wouldn't even let it happen. I seriously can't see any bright future in front of me. I'm hoping one day I can blow my brains out with my dad's gun.
 
148 1486857 11125521 apustaja hug
 
just live in a cave with no mirrors until you die theory
 
After so many years of having a fucked up face, if I had to choose between having a normal average face and getting a girlfriend, I would honestly choose the normal average face. One of my greatest remaining dreams in life is to be able to look in the mirror and see a symmetric well balanced normally structured face. I'm not exactly hideous at this point. I've had surgeries. I can now pass for fairly normal IRL. I can live a fairly normal life except with attracting women. But any surgeon who sees me can instantly tell me the remaining problems with no hesitation because I'm still measurably objectively factually outside the norm.

I remember growing up when my face first started getting messed up in my teens. My house had mirrors everywhere. I couldn't understand why there were so many fucking mirrors. Why would anyone want to see their face everywhere they went? The last thing I wanted was to see my face. I remember staring in the mirror as a teen and trying to figure out what was going on or why my face looked like that, or if there was just some facial expression I could make that would make it normal. But when the bones don't line up it's fucking over and there's nothing you can do.

I remember being asked by my family in pictures why I "keep making that face" in pictures as if I was doing something intentional to look this way. I remember getting surgery and even though it only partially fixed the problem everyone treated me twice as good after. I remember coping about how it only fixed half the problem but that was "probably enough." Well enough to let me live a partly normal life but not to be attractive to women or to be able to look in the mirror with comfort.

Every day shaving still remains torture because I have to look in the mirror intently for at least 5-10 minutes. Every reflective surface in public can hit me like a hammer if the lighting or perspective is bad. I avoid haircuts because they require 20 minutes of straight mirror time. It honestly never gets easier.

And now we live in a world where everything is determined by your ability to take a good photograph, which I can't fucking do no matter what I try. If I had known what I know now I would have gotten a dozen consults before my prior surgery and micromanaged everything to get it perfectly right the first time. Now more surgery is twice as risky and twice as hard and I have other limitations that prevent me from pursuing it.

Part of the reason the bluepill is so dangerous is because it prevents people from dealing with shit like this with the appropriate seriousness. My face has quite literally ruined a massive portion of my life. People raising ugly men to believe this stuff doesn't matter is a fucking crime, because then they don't even have the knowledge or understanding to have a hope of fixing it before it swallows their lives whole.

@muharremabi this is what I was trying to explain to you in PM. And @DeformAspergerCel perhaps you can understand some of what I'm talking about.
Are you sure you don't have BDD? If not at least the surgeons tell you how to improve. Some surgeons are annoyingly vague in their prognosis.
 
Are you sure you don't have BDD? If not at least the surgeons tell you how to improve. Some surgeons are annoyingly vague in their prognosis.

Yes I am sure. Every surgeon can immediately tell me the issues and they all say the same thing because it's a measurable science and it's a "common" issue for them. I already know the remaining problems on my own as well because it's not hard to figure out.

Part of the issue is that I have sensory nerve damage from my prior surgeries over roughly 20-25% of my entire head's surface area - numbness, tingling, dull sensation, sometimes overly sensitive, sometimes funnily cold/hot. I can handle that. But it is a bad sign for risks. Even when bones and skin can heal well, nerves often don't.

The nerve damage I have is only mainly bothersome as a constant reminder of what I've been through, and I would easily take almost complete sensory loss over my current face if I could get an "average" face from it. But there are worse risks with nerves. Sometimes people end up with severe burning or stabbing pain that never goes away. I've felt that temporarily during recovery. I would definitely kill myself if I had that permanently.

Once you've been chopped apart once and put back together they also have to work around all the hardware for a second round. And I have other factors to consider. It becomes very complex to evaluate the pros and cons. But when I am suicidal I always think "Well if I'm just going to kill myself anyway, may as well try another round" because what then could I possibly have to lose? On the plus side I might get lucky and get to have a normal face.

@DeformAspergerCel how are your nerves from your surgeries?
 
I've lived with deformity tier face all my life. Also I have severe scar in my arm which is another death sentence. I knew that something was wrong with my face by the time i was 14, but I wasn't aware at that time. I believe mouth breathing is the number one reason why I have so fucked up face because I literally mouth breathed 24/7 during my youth because there was no other way around. Doctors didn't give a fuck about my breathing condition.I had naturally straight teeth, jaw, cheekbones until 10-11 I think. Then within 2-3 years everything is fucked inevitably. I'm mentally and physically fucked and probably will commit suicide If I can't fix this whole fucking mess. I DONT LOOK HUMAN

Truly ugly people are very rare. The only thing I see when I go out is normal looking people. Almost no one has bad teeth or jaws like me. Having a deformed face is a fucking death sentence. Especially if you live in a shithole country with poor parents. Because your only hope is to have a good degree and a good job.(which is impossible for an autistic like me) Reality hit me so hard.

The bad thing is you can't hear anyone around you saying that you're ugly, because people praise beauty, but when they see ugliness, they're left uninterpreted. If your face had a little expense, they would have indicated it. So it takes some time to accept your ugliness. I was 16 when i was blackpilled. After that I always felt suicidal and didn't give a fuck about my grades.

Being physically ugly is the worst test for a person. No matter what you do, you're condemned to be oppressed by society. It immediately gives you social anxiety. You are afraid to look in the mirror, when you turn on the camera, you turn the front camera of the phone to a different side so that you can't see yourself, you take group photos, you always rot at home while your peers go to dinner with each other. And worst of all, in this once-given life, you can never trust yourself and be comfortable among the community, because for them you are only an image pollution that does not blow the storms of thought.

All I wanted in life was to be a normal person with a normal face, but life wouldn't even let it happen. I seriously can't see any bright future in front of me. I'm hoping one day I can blow my brains out with my dad's gun.
I had falsely assumed that everyone here was ugly but from this thread most posters appear to have normal faces
even here we are deformed monsters
 
Your looks are your life.
 
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we cant let post wall roasties having children with low T betamen .

Too bad eugenics is shunned off by modern (((science))) while still unoficially put in practices by foids
Yes I am sure. Every surgeon can immediately tell me the issues and they all say the same thing because it's a measurable science and it's a "common" issue for them. I already know the remaining problems on my own as well because it's not hard to figure out.

Part of the issue is that I have sensory nerve damage from my prior surgeries over roughly 20-25% of my entire head's surface area - numbness, tingling, dull sensation, sometimes overly sensitive, sometimes funnily cold/hot. I can handle that. But it is a bad sign for risks. Even when bones and skin can heal well, nerves often don't.

The nerve damage I have is only mainly bothersome as a constant reminder of what I've been through, and I would easily take almost complete sensory loss over my current face if I could get an "average" face from it. But there are worse risks with nerves. Sometimes people end up with severe burning or stabbing pain that never goes away. I've felt that temporarily during recovery. I would definitely kill myself if I had that permanently.

Once you've been chopped apart once and put back together they also have to work around all the hardware for a second round. And I have other factors to consider. It becomes very complex to evaluate the pros and cons. But when I am suicidal I always think "Well if I'm just going to kill myself anyway, may as well try another round" because what then could I possibly have to lose? On the plus side I might get lucky and get to have a normal face.

@DeformAspergerCel how are your nerves from your surgeries?
Seems if you have started the journey you may as well finish it. In the future techniques could be ameliorated.
 
Yes I am sure. Every surgeon can immediately tell me the issues and they all say the same thing because it's a measurable science and it's a "common" issue for them. I already know the remaining problems on my own as well because it's not hard to figure out.

Part of the issue is that I have sensory nerve damage from my prior surgeries over roughly 20-25% of my entire head's surface area - numbness, tingling, dull sensation, sometimes overly sensitive, sometimes funnily cold/hot. I can handle that. But it is a bad sign for risks. Even when bones and skin can heal well, nerves often don't.

The nerve damage I have is only mainly bothersome as a constant reminder of what I've been through, and I would easily take almost complete sensory loss over my current face if I could get an "average" face from it. But there are worse risks with nerves. Sometimes people end up with severe burning or stabbing pain that never goes away. I've felt that temporarily during recovery. I would definitely kill myself if I had that permanently.

Once you've been chopped apart once and put back together they also have to work around all the hardware for a second round. And I have other factors to consider. It becomes very complex to evaluate the pros and cons. But when I am suicidal I always think "Well if I'm just going to kill myself anyway, may as well try another round" because what then could I possibly have to lose? On the plus side I might get lucky and get to have a normal face.

@DeformAspergerCel how are your nerves from your surgeries?

If the less deformed face is the best surgeons can give, why even bother? Why would i take high risk surgeries If it doesnt make me average.Im seriously thinking of committing suicide at this point. There's no way for me to afford all the surgeries I need to look like human before lately 20's. Its fucking over.
 
If the less deformed face is the best surgeons can give, why even bother? Why would i take high risk surgeries If it doesnt make me average.Im seriously thinking of committing suicide at this point. There's no way for me to afford all the surgeries I need to look like human before lately 20's. Its fucking over.

I understand what you mean but that's the wrong attitude in my opinion - you're missing some things. First of all, the surgeries can give really different outcomes. It depends on luck a lot and the skill of the surgeon. For what's going on with your face for example, look at this surgeon's outcomes:


You can see he did a pretty good job for a lot of them. None of them became supermodels but they mostly became pretty normal.

Honestly man, I'm very glad I don't own a gun and I'm not around one. There are so many dark nights I've lived through where I am certain I would have shot myself. In your case I would try to stay away from your dad's gun as much as possible and not even think about it at least until you try to fix things.

You honestly might get lucky and have a good outcome. Like I said one of the things that always keeps me from the rope is thinking that my face probably can handle one more round of surgery and if it goes well I could still have what I most want in life. I figure if I'm going to be dead either way, I may as well try.

You're young and you still have completely fresh bones and skin that has never even been cut through. That means you have a lot of reason to still be optimistic. The risks are not high the first time around for your type of issue. I was trying to explain all this to you not to discourage you from trying, but rather to encourage you to take it seriously and try to plan it out the best you can with the best surgeons you can. I understand your country is poor and your finances are not great, but I don't think that's the most important factor. From everything I've been through I think the most important factors are:

- That your surgeon truly understands what is wrong with your face.
- That they truly care and want to try to fix it.

That's the most important stuff because if you have that they're gonna probably do a good job. If you meet the surgeon and they don't seem like they care or can explain what they're planning to do, don't jump into it. Find someone else. That was my mistake. I really don't think my surgeon gave a shit at all. And my case and facial problems were unusual which would made them harder for anyone to handle.

If you get yours fixed, you'll heal from the surgery in a few weeks. The swelling will go down in a month or two. Then you take some time to get used to the change. No matter what I can guarantee you everyone will treat you way better after. It was a massive high for me when this happened. I couldn't believe how much better it was.

Being a 4/10 or so for example won't get you matches on Tinder. But it is INFINITELY better than being a ~2/10. When you are that low people won't even make eye contact properly and you can't even be comfortable in public. But as a 4/10 you can be pretty normal. Inceldom is growing so much that even 5/10 guys are suffering now so that's a separate issue. You have aspergers so you'd still probably struggle with women from that. You should consider women as a separate issue altogether.

In terms of the rest of life, even if you only make it to a 4/10 your life will still be a lot better. It will open a lot of possibilities that you don't have now. Some guys do make it to 5/10. So I would really, really encourage you to at least see what good might come from it. Try to be optimistic at least until then. Sometimes optimism is good for you. Even if it's just to get you from one place to another.
 
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Deformed face makes you automatically a truecel
 
I understand what you mean but that's the wrong attitude in my opinion - you're missing some things. First of all, the surgeries can give really different outcomes. It depends on luck a lot and the skill of the surgeon. For what's going on with your face for example, look at this surgeon's outcomes:


You can see he did a pretty good job for a lot of them. None of them became supermodels but they mostly became pretty normal.

Honestly man, I'm very glad I don't own a gun and I'm not around one. There are so many dark nights I've lived through where I am certain I would have shot myself. In your case I would try to stay away from your dad's gun as much as possible and not even think about it at least until you try to fix things.

You honestly might get lucky and have a good outcome. Like I said one of the things that always keeps me from the rope is thinking that my face probably can handle one more round of surgery and if it goes well I could still have what I most want in life. I figure if I'm going to be dead either way, I may as well try.

You're young and you still have completely fresh bones and skin that has never even been cut through. That means you have a lot of reason to still be optimistic. The risks are not high the first time around for your type of issue. I was trying to explain all this to you not to discourage you from trying, but rather to encourage you to take it seriously and try to plan it out the best you can with the best surgeons you can. I understand your country is poor and your finances are not great, but I don't think that's the most important factor. From everything I've been through I think the most important factors are:

- That your surgeon truly understands what is wrong with your face.
- That they truly care and want to try to fix it.

That's the most important stuff because if you have that they're gonna probably do a good job. If you meet the surgeon and they don't seem like they care or can explain what they're planning to do, don't jump into it. Find someone else. That was my mistake. I really don't think my surgeon gave a shit at all. And my case and facial problems were unusual which would made them harder for anyone to handle.

If you get yours fixed, you'll heal from the surgery in a few weeks. The swelling will go down in a month or two. Then you take some time to get used to the change. No matter what I can guarantee you everyone will treat you way better after. It was a massive high for me when this happened. I couldn't believe how much better it was.

Being a 4/10 or so for example won't get you matches on Tinder. But it is INFINITELY better than being a ~2/10. When you are that low people won't even make eye contact properly and you can't even be comfortable in public. But as a 4/10 you can be pretty normal. Inceldom is growing so much that even 5/10 guys are suffering now so that's a separate issue. You have aspergers so you'd still probably struggle with women from that. You should consider women as a separate issue altogether.

In terms of the rest of life, even if you only make it to a 4/10 your life will still be a lot better. It will open a lot of possibilities that you don't have now. Some guys do make it to 5/10. So I would really, really encourage you to at least see what good might come from it. Try to be optimistic at least until then. Sometimes optimism is good for you. Even if it's just to get you from one place to another.
Thanks for this high effort post man. You have great points in it. Yes I'd rather be 4/10 than 2/10, I don't know though. The only surgery I booked so far is septorhinoplasty surgery because insurance meets half of the price. As I said before, I'm poor as fuck. This is the only problem for me I think. I actually don't give a fuck about risks. I'm not sure whether to go to college or wagecucking my ass of at least 2 years to afford all the surgeries I want. I think I'm going to have to prepare myself psychologically for this decision.
 
Part of the reason the bluepill is so dangerous is because it prevents people from dealing with shit like this with the appropriate seriousness. My face has quite literally ruined a massive portion of my life. People raising ugly men to believe this stuff doesn't matter is a fucking crime, because then they don't even have the knowledge or understanding to have a hope of fixing it before it swallows their lives whole.
For fucking real! This shit sin't just "cosmetic", it fucks you're whole life up and if you don't get it fixed when you're young, you're better off dead! God damn the insurance companies! Your incel eye is open as fuck brother.
Wokeafmynigga
 

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