R
RageAgainstTDL
Overlord
★★★★★
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2017
- Posts
- 6,888
After so many years of having a fucked up face, if I had to choose between having a normal average face and getting a girlfriend, I would honestly choose the normal average face. One of my greatest remaining dreams in life is to be able to look in the mirror and see a symmetric well balanced normally structured face. I'm not exactly hideous at this point. I've had surgeries. I can now pass for fairly normal IRL. I can live a fairly normal life except with attracting women. But any surgeon who sees me can instantly tell me the remaining problems with no hesitation because I'm still measurably objectively factually outside the norm.
I remember growing up when my face first started getting messed up in my teens. My house had mirrors everywhere. I couldn't understand why there were so many fucking mirrors. Why would anyone want to see their face everywhere they went? The last thing I wanted was to see my face. I remember staring in the mirror as a teen and trying to figure out what was going on or why my face looked like that, or if there was just some facial expression I could make that would make it normal. But when the bones don't line up it's fucking over and there's nothing you can do.
I remember being asked by my family in pictures why I "keep making that face" in pictures as if I was doing something intentional to look this way. I remember getting surgery and even though it only partially fixed the problem everyone treated me twice as good after. I remember coping about how it only fixed half the problem but that was "probably enough." Well enough to let me live a partly normal life but not to be attractive to women or to be able to look in the mirror with comfort.
Every day shaving still remains torture because I have to look in the mirror intently for at least 5-10 minutes. Every reflective surface in public can hit me like a hammer if the lighting or perspective is bad. I avoid haircuts because they require 20 minutes of straight mirror time. It honestly never gets easier.
And now we live in a world where everything is determined by your ability to take a good photograph, which I can't fucking do no matter what I try. If I had known what I know now I would have gotten a dozen consults before my prior surgery and micromanaged everything to get it perfectly right the first time. Now more surgery is twice as risky and twice as hard and I have other limitations that prevent me from pursuing it.
Part of the reason the bluepill is so dangerous is because it prevents people from dealing with shit like this with the appropriate seriousness. My face has quite literally ruined a massive portion of my life. People raising ugly men to believe this stuff doesn't matter is a fucking crime, because then they don't even have the knowledge or understanding to have a hope of fixing it before it swallows their lives whole.
@muharremabi this is what I was trying to explain to you in PM. And @DeformAspergerCel perhaps you can understand some of what I'm talking about.
I remember growing up when my face first started getting messed up in my teens. My house had mirrors everywhere. I couldn't understand why there were so many fucking mirrors. Why would anyone want to see their face everywhere they went? The last thing I wanted was to see my face. I remember staring in the mirror as a teen and trying to figure out what was going on or why my face looked like that, or if there was just some facial expression I could make that would make it normal. But when the bones don't line up it's fucking over and there's nothing you can do.
I remember being asked by my family in pictures why I "keep making that face" in pictures as if I was doing something intentional to look this way. I remember getting surgery and even though it only partially fixed the problem everyone treated me twice as good after. I remember coping about how it only fixed half the problem but that was "probably enough." Well enough to let me live a partly normal life but not to be attractive to women or to be able to look in the mirror with comfort.
Every day shaving still remains torture because I have to look in the mirror intently for at least 5-10 minutes. Every reflective surface in public can hit me like a hammer if the lighting or perspective is bad. I avoid haircuts because they require 20 minutes of straight mirror time. It honestly never gets easier.
And now we live in a world where everything is determined by your ability to take a good photograph, which I can't fucking do no matter what I try. If I had known what I know now I would have gotten a dozen consults before my prior surgery and micromanaged everything to get it perfectly right the first time. Now more surgery is twice as risky and twice as hard and I have other limitations that prevent me from pursuing it.
Part of the reason the bluepill is so dangerous is because it prevents people from dealing with shit like this with the appropriate seriousness. My face has quite literally ruined a massive portion of my life. People raising ugly men to believe this stuff doesn't matter is a fucking crime, because then they don't even have the knowledge or understanding to have a hope of fixing it before it swallows their lives whole.
@muharremabi this is what I was trying to explain to you in PM. And @DeformAspergerCel perhaps you can understand some of what I'm talking about.