I did not know this place existed and was pointed towards here from
r/relationships
I [M22] have been dating my girlfriend [F22] for just about 5 months now, and I feel we have reached the first real issue in our relationship. Besides some minor arguments and squabbles, this is the first time I feel we have reached a large impasse.
We have been incredibly close to one another, and have really thought about continuing to date post-college (we are currently in our last semester). The only really issue that we have had that is giving me second thoughts about everything is our sex life, especially of late.
The first few months of our relationship we were all over each other constantly, but in the last month we have only had sex twice, and last night in bed she told me she didn't want to do anything sexual for a month or so because she "needs a break from the pressure". When I asked what she meant, she replied that sex is not really fun for her and it does not feel that good and that she was a bit jealous that I always get to finish and whatnot.
She said sometimes she just does it to "put me in a better mood", as well. When I expressed that I didn't want something between us to become a motivational tool or an obligation, she said to get ready for sex to decrease significantly. Ideally for me, we would do it 3-4 times per week, possibly more, and her ideal i think has shrunk to once a week at best.
It should be noted at this point that I have never been able to make her orgasm. She has said that a guy has only been able to do that once in her life, and that its not a big deal for me. It is not from a lack of effort on my part, as I have repeatedly tried, including last night where i worked at it for 45 minutes which led to her crying, snapping at me, and then saying what she said above.
It is worth noting that I feel bad convincing/persuading her into sex now because she "doesn't really enjoy it".
She said she wants an opportunity to "reset" and just "take the pressure off" of sex or any sort of sexual behavior by not having it for a month at the minimum. My questions are: how big of a red flag is this? Will the sex ever come back? I don't want to seem sex-crazed in this post, but it is a very important part of the relationship for me. Everything else with her is good, but the initiation of sex has disappeared, there are no romantic gestures, and I am never treated to dates or anything that could lead to a romantic night. I am not happy about this but willing to give her a month and see if things are fixed. Is this the right decision?
tl;dr: Girlfriend wants to stop having sex for a month to "take the pressure off her". How big of a red flag is this?
