I think I'm still drunk. I definitely have alcohol breath. So this is what being drunk is like. feeling a bit disoriented. There is some dizziness. At height of drunkenness I felt as if I've got off a merri-go-round or something. Head moving in circles. I feel as if something is putting pressure on skin from inside, on my face and head, maybe its the blood vessels. Currently not able to put 100% focus on any task. Can't watch videos. Even watching videos or typing this is just a little harder. It has taken the edge off. I can also feel that my emotions are exaggerated.
Not a great experience overall. I guess you have to be really addicted to want to be like this.
As things proceeded we talked about many things. Ultimately we came to the topic of girls and relationships
. Of course, they had to ask how am I doing. I came out openly and told that I'm virgin. One of them made an exaggerated expression of disbelief. There was no mockery tho. It quickly devolved into them giving me advice about women with some light boasting. I could've said something but I was already experiencing drunkenness and was in no mood to rain on someone's parade. I told them I'm not that bothered by all this, and I'm not. But they probabaly thought I'm just saying this to console them. Its this thing about normies, they will never understand me, we have very different thought patterns. I'm on a completely different plane of intellectual thought. They were talking as if I was some boy. I don't see drinking, smoking, travelling, rubbing your genitals on a woman as something that make a boy a man. But that's what normies are all about.
Anyway, all that talk of some of their past exploits and stories about other girls we knew did fill me with rage and sadness. Not over my relative non-success but the absolute state of this world. Degeneracy has spread far and deep, I had no idea it was this bad out there. Men are literally marrying women who have been with god knows how many guys before. Sometimes these disgusting skanks hide body count from future partners. It breaks my little conservative moralfag heart.
Later we went out in the night, in a car to some late night hangout street corner for snacks and coffee. There I saw some couples and some other people. The world truly has changed. Many times I think I do not belong in this. Can't be like them. This world belongs to empty men with big cars, good drip, attractive looks and that boasting normie confidence.
Though all this talk with frens made me realise one thing. The real reason I'm a virgin. There is something broken inside me. I'm missing something. I don't know what you want to call it, NT, Normiesm whatever. I don't know if its birthborn or if its a result of shitty depressing childhood. Whatever it is it makes me unable to meaningfully pursue women(or any human whatsoever). Going in that direction is so against my being that it makes me almost not want it.(shit this became long, over for adhdcels, no one's gonna read this lol)
Not a great experience overall. I guess you have to be really addicted to want to be like this.
As things proceeded we talked about many things. Ultimately we came to the topic of girls and relationships
. Of course, they had to ask how am I doing. I came out openly and told that I'm virgin. One of them made an exaggerated expression of disbelief. There was no mockery tho. It quickly devolved into them giving me advice about women with some light boasting. I could've said something but I was already experiencing drunkenness and was in no mood to rain on someone's parade. I told them I'm not that bothered by all this, and I'm not. But they probabaly thought I'm just saying this to console them. Its this thing about normies, they will never understand me, we have very different thought patterns. I'm on a completely different plane of intellectual thought. They were talking as if I was some boy. I don't see drinking, smoking, travelling, rubbing your genitals on a woman as something that make a boy a man. But that's what normies are all about.Anyway, all that talk of some of their past exploits and stories about other girls we knew did fill me with rage and sadness. Not over my relative non-success but the absolute state of this world. Degeneracy has spread far and deep, I had no idea it was this bad out there. Men are literally marrying women who have been with god knows how many guys before
. Sometimes these disgusting skanks hide body count from future partners. It breaks my little conservative moralfag heart.Later we went out in the night, in a car to some late night hangout street corner for snacks and coffee. There I saw some couples and some other people. The world truly has changed. Many times I think I do not belong in this. Can't be like them. This world belongs to empty men with big cars, good drip, attractive looks and that boasting normie confidence.
Though all this talk with frens made me realise one thing. The real reason I'm a virgin. There is something broken inside me. I'm missing something. I don't know what you want to call it, NT, Normiesm whatever. I don't know if its birthborn or if its a result of shitty depressing childhood. Whatever it is it makes me unable to meaningfully pursue women(or any human whatsoever). Going in that direction is so against my being that it makes me almost not want it.(shit this became long, over for adhdcels, no one's gonna read this lol)
