TL;DR bold.
I went for a walk and, not kidding, I met a prettyboy chad 10/10 on a bike at the corner before the forest . Looked a bit like this guys, but prettier. Younger, smooth-shaven, 6'4, better muscles and skin, and perfect voice.
He asked me for direction. I just don't know something must have broken in my brain. I am usually the social giga-fuckup. I can neither talk to neighbours, docs, cashiers or anyone properly, but I was this time able to answer this guy basically in what I would consider the most perfect NT way, I can imagine, despite my autism and anxiety. His physical RL presence worked like an enchantment or something on me. The chad- and normiehating guy I usually am walked around for the next half hour grinning in a deep state of mental happiness. I didn't want to. It was like evil magic. I even exactly knew where he would go. Our house is on a hill and every fucking friday I can see how people are partying in that one house and it is triggering me hard almost to an ER point. This must be something deeply ingrained in our subconsciousness. I wanted to nuke the world including him and me and adored him at the same time. My resulting grimace through involuntary permanent muscle contraction and my enhanced and at the same time world-loathing mental state was so confusing and no it was not sexual in any way.
How are we even supposed to succeed when this drug near experience probably can't even get close to what femsnails feel? I can only imagine how dripping wet their roastbeefs would get.
It's so cucking (freudian slip I leave it as always) over. I can only hope that the remnats of this positive feeling will never wear off or I have to rope. I think it is better I go to bed after this.
I went for a walk and, not kidding, I met a prettyboy chad 10/10 on a bike at the corner before the forest . Looked a bit like this guys, but prettier. Younger, smooth-shaven, 6'4, better muscles and skin, and perfect voice.
He asked me for direction. I just don't know something must have broken in my brain. I am usually the social giga-fuckup. I can neither talk to neighbours, docs, cashiers or anyone properly, but I was this time able to answer this guy basically in what I would consider the most perfect NT way, I can imagine, despite my autism and anxiety. His physical RL presence worked like an enchantment or something on me. The chad- and normiehating guy I usually am walked around for the next half hour grinning in a deep state of mental happiness. I didn't want to. It was like evil magic. I even exactly knew where he would go. Our house is on a hill and every fucking friday I can see how people are partying in that one house and it is triggering me hard almost to an ER point. This must be something deeply ingrained in our subconsciousness. I wanted to nuke the world including him and me and adored him at the same time. My resulting grimace through involuntary permanent muscle contraction and my enhanced and at the same time world-loathing mental state was so confusing and no it was not sexual in any way.
How are we even supposed to succeed when this drug near experience probably can't even get close to what femsnails feel? I can only imagine how dripping wet their roastbeefs would get.
It's so cucking (freudian slip I leave it as always) over. I can only hope that the remnats of this positive feeling will never wear off or I have to rope. I think it is better I go to bed after this.
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