SuicideFuel fucked up beyond repair

[AmIjustDreaming]

is anyone else just fucked up beyond repair? all the years of isolation, getting made fun of, the absolute misery of school and the fucking despair. plagued by severe mental illness, ugly as rocky dennis with a faceful of bee stings. all because i'm fucking ugly. there's no way for me to have a happy life. i'm a fucked up loser.

 

[Deleted member 33450]

im doomed tbh

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

im doomed tbh

i hate myself more than anyone could ever

 

[Deleted member 33450]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_ZYcoxvXt0

 

[Deleted member 32183]

I will never forgive humans for the sadistic demons that they are

It has been a long time since I have craved acceptance from the demonic horde

The only thing that will truly make me happy is seeing this world reduced into a pile of slag

Redemption may have been possible many years ago, but we are far beyond that point

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

I will never forgive humans for the sadistic demons that they are

It has been a long time since I have craved acceptance from the demonic horde

The only thing that will truly make me happy is seeing this world reduced into a pile of slag

Redemption may have been possible many years ago, but we are far beyond that point

in all honesty foids and normies, the way they have treated me made me a junkie

 

[Rambocel]

in all honesty foids and normies, the way they have treated me made me a junkie

Seriously though anyone with a piece of heart at all must be driven to it

I don't mean that as in/exclusive though. Met plenty of shithead druggies too

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

Seriously though anyone with a piece of heart at all must be driven to it

I don't mean that as in/exclusive though. Met plenty of shithead druggies too

i only hurt myself with my addictions, there's nobody to give a fuck or hurt

 

[Kamikaze]

Speaking of addictions: i only exclusively operate on Phenibut these days and a weekend without LSD feels like suicide fuel

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

Speaking of addictions: i only exclusively operate on Phenibut these days and a weekend without LSD feels like suicide fuel

how much phen do you take/dosage?

 

[Kamikaze]

how much phen do you take/dosage?

500mg daily except on weekends for about a year now. Thinking of titering down to 200mg and doing a break period.

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

500mg daily except on weekends for about a year now. Thinking of titering down to 200mg and doing a break period.

do you use the caps or the powder? i tried the "fine crystal" powder before i liked it

 

[Kamikaze]

Depends on how good the price is. Currently caps. I used to do much higher doses, but tolerance shoots up like crazy.
Pheni at high doses does give euphoria but its not worth it.
For some help with anxiety you want to go like 250mg a day tops and get a 3 day or so break period during the week.
Its imperative to take it on an empty stomach as food screws up absorbption big time. Half life is like 6 hours or so, and it should last a general work day.
Don't know about you, but it does make me mentally slower.

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

Depends on how good the price is. Currently caps. I used to do much higher doses, but tolerance shoots up like crazy.
Pheni at high doses does give euphoria but its not worth it.
For some help with anxiety you want to go like 250mg a day tops and get a 3 day or so break period during the week.
Its imperative to take it on an empty stomach as food screws up absorbption big time. Half life is like 6 hours or so, and it should last a general work day.
Don't know about you, but it does make me mentally slower.

i liked combing it with benzos, goddamn it made it way more intense

 

[Kamikaze]

Well it makes sense since they both potentiate GABA receptors and depress the central nervous system.
Benzos are much more addicting though... both physically and mentally... i would only take em for very short periods of absolute distress

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

Well it makes sense since they both potentiate GABA receptors and depress the central nervous system.
Benzos are much more addicting though... both physically and mentally... i would only take em for very short periods of absolute distress

yeah i know. gabapentin with benzos.tramadol is amazing

 

[Kamikaze]

Being an opioid virgin is heaven... too bad it ends so quickly.

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

Being an opioid virgin is heaven... too bad it ends so quickly.

yeah, tolerance is a bitch. i honestly can't live without benzos

 

[Deleted member 33216]

Yup. I'm in the same boat as you.

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

Yup. I'm in the same boat as you.

there's no getting out of this hole

 

[Deleted member 33216]

there's no getting out of this hole

Sadly, there isn't. I tried everything that was suggested to me by my parents, redpillers, blue pilled normies, and even my grandparents. It's all been fruitless. I don't see a way out of this. You know how normies always regurgitate the phrase "there's always light at the end of the tunnel"? I believe there's not light at the end of the tunnel I'm stuck in. There was a time where escape was possible. Alas, that's not the case anymore. I've hit the point of no return.

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

Sadly, there isn't. I tried everything that was suggested to me by my parents, redpillers, blue pilled normies, and even my grandparents. It's all been fruitless. I don't see a way out of this. You know how normies always regurgitate the phrase "there's always light at the end of the tunnel"? I believe there's not light at the end of the tunnel I'm stuck in. There was a time where escape was possible. Alas, that's not the case anymore. I've hit the point of no return.

i've always despised that blind positivity people spew. they have no idea what it's like to be us. they don't even try to understand. we were fucked from the start

 

[Indari]

real life demon's souls

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

real life demon's souls

you lost me

 

[Deleted member 33615]

its over for me.

 

[Indari]

you lost me

souls games are known for being fucking bullshit difficulty wise and in that one specifically everytime you die you come back weaker.

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

souls games are known for being fucking bullshit difficulty wise and in that one specifically everytime you die you come back weaker.

gotcha

 

[Deleted member 17419]

benzos

Not worth it, you should stop doing that. LSD is great though.

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

Not worth it, you should stop doing that. LSD is great though.

i don't really like psychs, too late. i've been abusing them since about 17

 

[Linesnap99]

Rope is the only way

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

Rope is the only way

i rather jump a bridge and let the current take me under and drown

 

[Justdone]

i rather jump a bridge and let the current take me under and drown

Sometimes I feel like a suicide attempt in public is the only way to be heard ngl therapist and psychiatrist hate us so we can’t trust them

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

Sometimes I feel like a suicide attempt in public is the only way to be heard ngl therapist and psychiatrist hate us so we can’t trust them

like blowing your brains out in a crowded place?

 

[Justdone]

like blowing your brains out in a crowded place?

That or jumping off or in front of things like a train. People hate the person doing that in public usually but I feel like sad for them and see it as a last cry of help

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

That or jumping off or in front of things like a train. People hate the person doing that in public usually but I feel like sad for them and see it as a last cry of help

yeah, it's fucked up. i don't blame them. sad thing is nobody would care if someone like us killed ourselves like that.

 

[Deleted member 33778]

Loss, childhood trauma, anxiety including a brain that never shuts off, other undiagnosed mental issues I suspect.
I'm fucked in many ways, (except for the one way I wanna be). Inceldom on top of everything else, jfl, it is what it is.

 

[Rambocel]

Speaking of addictions: i only exclusively operate on Phenibut these days and a weekend without LSD feels like suicide fuel

Where do you get such reliable LSD?

 

[Emba]

Fubar?

Spoiler: FUBAR!

Urban Dictionary: FUBAR

fucked up beyond all repair (or recognition)

www.urbandictionary.com

fubar

1. extremely bad or certain to fail or be defeated or destroyed. Fubar is short…

dictionary.cambridge.org

List of military slang terms - Wikipedia

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