I used to just rot, smoke weed and play dota2 when I was NEET. Now I remembered that it waz over for me in the childhood. Like I had friends but interactions were bad with high t kids. I also had this friend that lold at me when we were playing basketball, like when I wanted to throw, he looked at me and giggled, lold. Kek I would lol at myself too irl if I saw my side profile with mouth open trying to throw a ball. Once a dad took a pic of me when we were in Spain and I was exiting le ocean tbh, when I saw that picture my heart fucking sunk, I was also getting into PSLI communities at that time in 2017 May I think, so I saw my side profile and holy fuck lmao I had legit sminem's hair so fucking subhuman jfl, recessed chin and me fucking mouthbreathing so my chin looled 2 receased with open mouth, that's why my childhood friend lold when I was about to throw a ball. Tfw... people subconsciously lol @ my face, they subconsciously feel I am low status therefore they can insult me or lol @ me knowing there won't be any consequences, nobody wants to be my TRUE friend nor my girlfriend because I am O M E G A. Just lol @ me ded srs, as an omega I also hate myself(deep inside because I know its not my fault I am the way I am). I had real true friends in childhood too, I decided to check their facebook not a long time ago and I saw they are sub5, therefore our relationships were good(until I ruined em, I am an envious person too, not of random people but people I persobally know and only envious then when that person did something bad to me)), I will never meet em again anyway we are too far away and they've realized that I am a retard anyway. I hope I will find motivation in myself to stop this madness by stopping weed and finally fucking looksmaxxing. Ded srs.. bu...dd...y... tbh buddy... bo..yo..... tbhtbh tbh tb... tb...h.... fuck just fuck being in low hiearchy on this planet earth, hiearchies are also universal and can be seen in our galaxy. Sometimes I wanna turn myself into an energy and be thoughtless, sometimes I want to end this madness with looksmaxxing, getting surgeries is the greatest achievemnt of humanity, it's when you actually CAN change your place in hierarchy which is awesome when you think about it. I will be also 21 soon, can't let this hell last longer.
