I was raped by a group of men over almost 3 hours
I don't know where to go but need to cope. I hope that this is the right place.
TLDR: I was raped by a group of men over several hours and I don't want anyone to know.
I try to cut it short: I'm originally from Ukraine and fled to Germany over two years ago for obvious reasons. I go to school here and always felt home and safe.
Everything changed a few weeks ago. I was going home from a friend's house. On the way I ran into two guys that I had met in the German courses that refugees have to take. We had a short conversation and they invited me to join them and hang out with their friends in the nearby park. Without thinking too much I just went with them and didn't saw any issues with that.
It was a warm night and at first it was really fun with them. It was a group of maybe 20 guys hanging out, drinking a bit, listening to music and dancing etc. Everyone was nice and there was a good atmosphere.
After having had a few drinks, I joined them dancing too. Unlike most Europeans, these guys really had fun and were good dancers.
As stupid as it sounds, in that moment I enjoyed dancing close with them and going from one to the other.
After a while I ended up dancing for a bit longer with one of them and there was clearly some tension. I didn't plan to do anything sexual but of course I could feel that there was interest. We took a break and had a beer together. He also used drugs. But it was still a nice conversation with him.
He tried to get closer a few times but I always backed up and actually didn't really thought about it.
After some time two of the other guys joined us and were trying to get closer too. I really had to push them away and for the first time felt uncomfortable. Aloma even helped me and then said I should give them some time to calm down. It somehow seemed to make sense and I followed him to a more quite place a few meters away from the group.
There he tried to kiss me and I wasn't quick enough to pull back immediately. But I didn't let it go for more than a few seconds. He then tried to go further and came closer. I tried to push him away. But now he wasn't letting me push him and continued. He tried to pull my shirt up while I tried to hold it down until it was torn apart.
He kept going on against my resistance and eventually pulled my jeans and underwear down. He held me against a tree and raped me for several minutes which felt like hours until he finally was done and loosened his grip.
I took the chance, pulled my underwear and jeans back up and without thinking I ran back towards the group of guys to ask them for help.
However, this was a huge mistake. Upon arriving there they made fun of me and one of the guys threatened me to give him a blowjob or he would kill me with his knife. I was extremely scared and didn't see a way out.
Afterwards I was taken to the trees again by another guy who also raped me.
When he brought me back to the group he basically told the younger guys that they need to proof that they are real men now. And this lead to the worst part because they tried to show off and hurt me for entertainment.
I don't know exactly but altogether this must have lasted over 3 hours. I had several Blackouts during it and it was hell. Painful and humiliation. They made fun of me the whole time.
When they were done, they just left and I didn't know what to do. I just laid there crying most of the night. When I went home, I locked myself in my room and refused to talk to anyone for two days. Everything hurt and I didn't know how to cope with all of this.
On the third day I left my room but still haven't told anyone. I can't.
Thank you for reading this. It means a lot to me
View: https://www.reddit.com/r/sexualassault/s/Rl2HKSne1e
I don't know where to go but need to cope. I hope that this is the right place.
TLDR: I was raped by a group of men over several hours and I don't want anyone to know.
I try to cut it short: I'm originally from Ukraine and fled to Germany over two years ago for obvious reasons. I go to school here and always felt home and safe.
Everything changed a few weeks ago. I was going home from a friend's house. On the way I ran into two guys that I had met in the German courses that refugees have to take. We had a short conversation and they invited me to join them and hang out with their friends in the nearby park. Without thinking too much I just went with them and didn't saw any issues with that.
It was a warm night and at first it was really fun with them. It was a group of maybe 20 guys hanging out, drinking a bit, listening to music and dancing etc. Everyone was nice and there was a good atmosphere.
After having had a few drinks, I joined them dancing too. Unlike most Europeans, these guys really had fun and were good dancers.
As stupid as it sounds, in that moment I enjoyed dancing close with them and going from one to the other.
After a while I ended up dancing for a bit longer with one of them and there was clearly some tension. I didn't plan to do anything sexual but of course I could feel that there was interest. We took a break and had a beer together. He also used drugs. But it was still a nice conversation with him.
He tried to get closer a few times but I always backed up and actually didn't really thought about it.
After some time two of the other guys joined us and were trying to get closer too. I really had to push them away and for the first time felt uncomfortable. Aloma even helped me and then said I should give them some time to calm down. It somehow seemed to make sense and I followed him to a more quite place a few meters away from the group.
There he tried to kiss me and I wasn't quick enough to pull back immediately. But I didn't let it go for more than a few seconds. He then tried to go further and came closer. I tried to push him away. But now he wasn't letting me push him and continued. He tried to pull my shirt up while I tried to hold it down until it was torn apart.
He kept going on against my resistance and eventually pulled my jeans and underwear down. He held me against a tree and raped me for several minutes which felt like hours until he finally was done and loosened his grip.
I took the chance, pulled my underwear and jeans back up and without thinking I ran back towards the group of guys to ask them for help.
However, this was a huge mistake. Upon arriving there they made fun of me and one of the guys threatened me to give him a blowjob or he would kill me with his knife. I was extremely scared and didn't see a way out.
Afterwards I was taken to the trees again by another guy who also raped me.
When he brought me back to the group he basically told the younger guys that they need to proof that they are real men now. And this lead to the worst part because they tried to show off and hurt me for entertainment.
I don't know exactly but altogether this must have lasted over 3 hours. I had several Blackouts during it and it was hell. Painful and humiliation. They made fun of me the whole time.
When they were done, they just left and I didn't know what to do. I just laid there crying most of the night. When I went home, I locked myself in my room and refused to talk to anyone for two days. Everything hurt and I didn't know how to cope with all of this.
On the third day I left my room but still haven't told anyone. I can't.
Thank you for reading this. It means a lot to me
View: https://www.reddit.com/r/sexualassault/s/Rl2HKSne1e
