I just can't take this life anymore. This world is already intrinsically hellish, a ruthless, torturous game that everybody loses in the end through death, but people are so psychopathic, selfish and inconsiderate that they manage to make it even much more unberable.
Every day I wake up and I don't want to do anything and feel like puking when I think about certain things that I saw through my already unnecessarily long life.
Only psychopaths are able to thrive in this world, especially in nowadays western societies. If you have emotions, empathy, want to do the right thing, etc, forget about it.
You just have to accept it
(not forgetting or whatever you may think by accept it, since what you learn from all experiences will give you an insight of how to deal with them in the future) and do something you possibly can that will take things of your mind, something should pop up eventually even when you can't think of anything, since nothing lasts forever, therefore your state of mind of thinking "other things to keep your mind from insanity" doesn't exist, won't be around till you focus on something you want to do.
I was literally in your state of frame, though primarily due to long depression and blackpilled to the point of being in my room most of the time, but I just sat there one night reading through the ultimate guide to stop NoFap and one phrase that stuck with me was to remember the inevitable void/loneliness and to embrace it instead of pushing it away due to fear of being alone, from then on all the understanding and framework for loving myself and other stuff I've stated on here just came to me and I pretty much don't let the negative consume my day as much and instead shift it like binary code to where it behaves like a oscillating clock but that where I am in control.
Also look at everything in this format
-
Idea: Your actual state of consciousness and where all ideas are sent to you to see whether they are something for you to do or not i.e. the thought of eating candy thus you deciding if you want to eat it or not
-
Speech: The thought being vocalised in whatever language you are familiar with, essentially the process to what occurs next
-
Action: The actual end goal of having your thought/idea be realised
As by looking at everything this way, you end up thinking whether each idea is worthy of letting it stay in your head or not. See you really do have the free will of choice to do anything, the only thing keeping you from doing anything is simply because the cause and effect of certain ideas, which isn't wrong, since if you ended up doing something without realising the effect, then you only have yourself to blame, for example addicts forgetting why they are addicting and become addicted again or feel the high; firstly it's because they have no mental framework, therefore they behave animalistic, and second, they have no sense of self or idea of cause and effect, thus leading to a state of pedestalling their addiction and consumed by it. I will say the same thing works for religion, since, those who are religious usually end up thinking god will answer their wishes or cure miracles but what happens when it's the third time in a row that it doesn't heed to your call, and why should god make it easy for you to survive in life for things that are capable in your reach to figure out, seems to me like you would rather be coddled by god than think for yourself, in fact what would you end up doing if god was gone forever.
The last phrase wasn't to offend you or anyone else reading this that is highly spiritual, but to tell you exactly the type of thinking you shouldn't be leaning towards when seeking help from god, as it isn't something that won't help you entirely, it just wouldn't help you entirely in the sense of how parents cook you food without you being involved or let us just say like foids being entitled cunts, and instead wants you to do things for yourself or essentially be self sufficient even at times where you are at your lowest, still being able to do what you seek/desire in life, as it would be in my opinion an insult to god, to just stall yourself right now, when this would mean that god should have stalled half way through creating the world leaving only half of the universe instead of completing its project.
Overall, I still haven't let go off the blackpill but even through knowing all the experiences and everything from this world, I just make it as comfortable for me to live in and still do what I need to do, since I have other goals to finish.
