Never at any point in my life have I ever had someone that I would describe as a friend I've genuinely just never been someone any ever gravitated towards or wanted to strike a conversation with. Basically any conversation I had with non immediate relatives was me initiating out of necessity or someone else initiaiting out of necessity other than that if I wanted to have a cordial or ljust normal conversation with anyone it was me initiating and often it was met with a sparse or empty response from someone who just really didn't give a shit.
In school there were 3 distinct groups, the popular kids (10%) normies (80%) and losers (10%) and I was so desperate not to be considered a loser my entire education life was basically just me hanging on the outskirts of normie groups without ever creating conversation or being the topic of discussion in the hopes they wouldn't just flat out reject me and lkick me to the loser group curb. Often most discussions were just about things either previously discussed without me or about a thing I've never done like friend activities outside of school or girlfriends but I compromised on not knowing this just to avoid being a loser.
On top of this I had extremely conservative parents who were completely against me being outside at any time if it wasn't school this even extended to joining the school football (soccer) team although they ultimately conceded on that but instead they wanted me to spend most my outside school time studying and revising and grinding so I can be something when I'm older lololol. On top of this I was somewhat chubby as a kid and obviously unnattractive I was extremely self conscious about what people's opinions were of me and as a result of both these school and parents factors I developed extremely high social inhibition and extremely low social skills that extend to basically every part of my life now.
Fast forwards I'm nearly 21 and I have basically zero friends that I'm comfortable talking to so joining an incel forum to see people casually dropping friend story times like it's nothing total ropefuel
In school there were 3 distinct groups, the popular kids (10%) normies (80%) and losers (10%) and I was so desperate not to be considered a loser my entire education life was basically just me hanging on the outskirts of normie groups without ever creating conversation or being the topic of discussion in the hopes they wouldn't just flat out reject me and lkick me to the loser group curb. Often most discussions were just about things either previously discussed without me or about a thing I've never done like friend activities outside of school or girlfriends but I compromised on not knowing this just to avoid being a loser.
On top of this I had extremely conservative parents who were completely against me being outside at any time if it wasn't school this even extended to joining the school football (soccer) team although they ultimately conceded on that but instead they wanted me to spend most my outside school time studying and revising and grinding so I can be something when I'm older lololol. On top of this I was somewhat chubby as a kid and obviously unnattractive I was extremely self conscious about what people's opinions were of me and as a result of both these school and parents factors I developed extremely high social inhibition and extremely low social skills that extend to basically every part of my life now.
Fast forwards I'm nearly 21 and I have basically zero friends that I'm comfortable talking to so joining an incel forum to see people casually dropping friend story times like it's nothing total ropefuel
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