urge to scream. urge to break things. daydreaming about leaving work to sui. trapped. hopeless. it's over.
livin the dream bro
Nearly had a breakdown 30 min ago getting in my car. In the parking lot of my work now contemplating quitting. No way in gonna last here with my mind like this. Might as well quit now right?
The worst is yet to come, this is your forever now bro. Either live with it or rope, there is no easier plan to escape.
Doing slave labor for money is a form of death.. your better off quitting.. time is the most Precious commodity we have, and most Americans give it too willingly.. All of my time is my own, and I will keep it that way as long as I exist here.. you should consider the same..
I know how you feel several years back I got so severe depression (probably a mental breakdown) after only working a real job for 1½ month full time (10 hours a day) it was in a butcher shop and just the thought of getting up every morning to do this 10 hours a day 5 days a week for the rest of my life broke me. I hate working and always have because this isn´t life to spend 10 hours every day doing something you hate just yearning to get home.
@Indari feel free to PM me if you want to because I really know how much it sucks, I even had a meeting today with my school counselor because I haven´t showed up at school since school started the 13th August and now I fooled the counselor so I will get my student money for next month but this is my last money then I will be kicked out and I am going to kill myself next week or latest in 2 weeks. If you feel anything similar to this then PM me.
@Indari feel free to PM me if you want to because I really know how much it sucks, I even had a meeting today with my school counselor because I haven´t showed up at school since school started the 13th August and now I fooled the counselor so I will get my student money for next month but this is my last money then I will be kicked out and I am going to kill myself next week or latest in 2 weeks. If you feel anything similar to this then PM me.
Damn, same. I can't even make it through the day well even though I have school twice a week and am free for the rest of the week.
L
My morning routine is probably comparable to the routine of every other person out there. But whenever I go out, I feel an uncontrolable rage. Whenever I see a couple walking down the street, I whisper curses and swear words. Whenever I see children playing or whenever I hear their joyful screams, I want to beat them up. Whenever I see a foid on her telephone/taking selfies, I want to bash her fucking face in - hedonistic little cum dumpsters.
I fucking hate animals, whenever I hear a dog barking, I want to shoot the flea-infested furbag to death, whenever I hear birds, I want to strangle them one by one and make an omelett out of their precious eggs. Whenever I see jocks driving down the road in their fancy cars, I think of caroms, that's one of the few occasions, where you can see me smiling.
Whenever I hear laughter, I feel wrath and suicidal thoughts at the same time, sometimes I wonder what's bigger: my self hatred or my contempt for every annoying waste of air out there. I don't care anyway, because these feelings are merged together. At work and in my spare time I fantasize about comitting suicide, sometimes I say it loudly, only to dismiss it as a joke a few moments later. My acquaintances are getting bored, but I don't care. My life is a private hell, there's no escape, no hope and no catharsis. I don't speak with my parents unless it's absolutely necessary, one or two words per day, but nothing more. I have lost all friends, because they are tired of hearing my morbid thoughts. One or two hours without suicidal thoughts is a success for me.
There's no cope for me. I have lost all interests and hobbies. I was an avid reader before, but the magazines/ books are thrown into the trash nowadays, whenever someone is stupid enough to give me literature as a gift. I hate watching movies, because I am annoyed by happy people and couples even in the media. Sometimes I sit in my room destroying stuff randomly, whenever something annoys me, sometimes I cry or scream before eventually falling to sleep due to exhaustion. I haven't slept well for the last four years. I have lost all hope. For some reason I manage to blend in. Everyone thinks something is off with me, but they can't figure out what. Luckily, people are so indifferent and uncaring nowadays, that no one feels the need to ask me anything, because I would only telll them to fuck off. My life is a satire.
I feel your pain brother.
What the fuck is the point of a job like that? It's just like being an NPC in a video game, you just exist to serve other people. Fuck that shit.
anger has become my life fuel
Hah that is so true that is how life is when you´re ugly and poor, we are just NPC´s to keep the game going for all the rich and good looking people.
Try the pc game "Hatred", you'd enjoy it! Funny thing is I look very close to the psycho in game,,including my long black leather trench and long black hair! Haha
Exactly, you're there to slave away, make their frappuccino and shine their shoes for chump change that isn't enough to even afford basic necessities on. It's literally modern day slavery. Fuck this gay earth
Exactly! I like your mind the things you have said seem similar to my own beliefs.
L
Welcome to the club. The best suicide prevention, when you are alone:
>violent/absurd fantasies
>cynicism
>splatter movies/video nasties (torture porn genre, the more absurd, the better, suggestions: Wolf Creek, the Collector, Cannibal Holocaust, Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
>violent video games like the one recommended above, other suggestions: Mortal Kombat
>aggressive music (black metal)/ gangster rap
>NOT helping foids (whenever they want your help, refuse, I personally felt better afterwards, other people love validation)
>documentaries about predators (sharks, lions, snakes)
>documentaries about serial killers, mass shootings, catastrophes, prison gangs, organized crime, hitmen, wartime atrocities (human experiments esp. Unit 731 and Nazi concentration camps)
>hatred
>TV-series containing violent absurdity/black humor (like South Park, Metalocalypse, Happy Tree Friends, Superjail, Mr. Pickles)
>aggressive movies (Rampage, Hobo with a Shotgun, Romper Stomper), movies with relatable protagonists (American Psycho, Clockwork Orange), absurdity (Tokyo Gore Police, Tropic Thunder, Sharknado, Sharktopus)
>laugh at the gore scenes in said movies
>street fights, roadrage
>dismissing NoFap as bullshit
>just spew your hatred out there, when you are at home scream as loud as you can
>make seemingly harmless remarks, when someone gets the message, dismiss it as a joke later (only if you have been found out)
>take a baseball bat and beat the shit out of the nearest tree or smash something
>write down your feelings, writing is a great cope, it helps to canalize the anger and hatred
Helped me to get suicidal thoughts out of my head (at least for a short time)
Hatred is a very good game
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where is the gif in your sig from?
No it´s really not imo It is very interesting and awesome but it gets boring really quick, like I have played 9 hours in total.
http://baloo.co/movie/polytechnique-1194238
after work, feel better now. wasn't so bad a few hours in. it's not always like that though. 10 hrs a day fuck that. I worked 10 hrs a day one week because we had off for fourth of july and the boss wanted people to get their 40 hrs. fuck school just work to be an electrician like me. fucking uni had me suicidal even before they kicked me out and banned me from campus for being subhuman
Work makes me more suicidal because I hate working at least in school I can just sit and search the internet and watch series in class, on work I have to do a boring mundane job for 8-10 hours with 1 single break where I will try and force enough calories in to no avail since I have a problem with my throat I will be unable to consume enough calories to maintain my bodyweight in the lunch break at a workplace.
I am also colorblind so I won´t I can be an electrician among a lot of other jobs.
*every second
I want to stop existing. It's just all too much for me.
There is no escape
You just described the way I'm currently feeling perfectly. It's over, man. We both know it.
It's only down hill from here man. Eventually the pain becomes so bad that you just start laughing and going insane. You will find light in the darkness.
you saw my previous thread about this? because that's exactly what I do
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