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The main cause of narcissism is: Exposure to unfair authority during childhood
When the immediate authority of a child (the closest caregiver) is unfair, unkind, selfish, has no empathy or is extremely non-genuine about it, the mind of the child automatically translates any form of authority = predation, and not having total authority = being prey, that's why narcissists want to gain authority in every setting, in their head it's a life-death situation, and they HATE people who don't bend to their will
The idea of an authority being fair, genuinely loving and non-predatory never even crossed their mind, they can't comprehend anyone wanting any sort of power NOT for the sole purpose of abusing it, they can't understand the idea of a "leader", a non-transactional provider or helper. they can't see any authority as non-threat, to them there's no such thing as "safe" authority that isn't exactly themselves, that's also why narcissists have God-complex, the idea of a "loving" god that isn't themselves isn't possible for them, their primary god (caregiver) was their first competitor and emotional predator
They may later hear about things like empathy and love but the hardwiring is already done, they didn't see love in action when it mattered the most, childhood is the most vulnerable state of a human and requires unconditional love the most, and if unconditional love isn't received, the lizard brain activates and completely takes over and from that point on the person operates on a purely survival selfish philosophy, and becomes a monster with 0 empathy
Even the "normal" amounts of narcissism in regular people is caused by seeing too many selfish authorities, but they had at least 1 person in their life that gave them SOME amount of unconditional genuine love so they didn't become full blown NPDs
You still shouldn't be kind to narcissists tho, because they can't change their hardwiring, even if a narcissist reads this they'll think it's a scheme to fool them and disallow them from gaining authority (aka being the top predator)
The conclusion is that people without empathy (narcissism, bpd, ...) should never have any authority over anyone (especially over a child), all people should be psychologically evaluated before being allowed to have kids
When the immediate authority of a child (the closest caregiver) is unfair, unkind, selfish, has no empathy or is extremely non-genuine about it, the mind of the child automatically translates any form of authority = predation, and not having total authority = being prey, that's why narcissists want to gain authority in every setting, in their head it's a life-death situation, and they HATE people who don't bend to their will
The idea of an authority being fair, genuinely loving and non-predatory never even crossed their mind, they can't comprehend anyone wanting any sort of power NOT for the sole purpose of abusing it, they can't understand the idea of a "leader", a non-transactional provider or helper. they can't see any authority as non-threat, to them there's no such thing as "safe" authority that isn't exactly themselves, that's also why narcissists have God-complex, the idea of a "loving" god that isn't themselves isn't possible for them, their primary god (caregiver) was their first competitor and emotional predator
They may later hear about things like empathy and love but the hardwiring is already done, they didn't see love in action when it mattered the most, childhood is the most vulnerable state of a human and requires unconditional love the most, and if unconditional love isn't received, the lizard brain activates and completely takes over and from that point on the person operates on a purely survival selfish philosophy, and becomes a monster with 0 empathy
Even the "normal" amounts of narcissism in regular people is caused by seeing too many selfish authorities, but they had at least 1 person in their life that gave them SOME amount of unconditional genuine love so they didn't become full blown NPDs
You still shouldn't be kind to narcissists tho, because they can't change their hardwiring, even if a narcissist reads this they'll think it's a scheme to fool them and disallow them from gaining authority (aka being the top predator)
The conclusion is that people without empathy (narcissism, bpd, ...) should never have any authority over anyone (especially over a child), all people should be psychologically evaluated before being allowed to have kids
