Based take. Have been on this sub along time and feel the same way that you do. As someone who has fallen into long cycles of despair and for a long time had a very negative world view i’ve always felt bad for some incels (the ones not promoting violence) as I can definitely empathise with how they feel to some extent in some sort of capacity, whatever that may be. Another problem is people do like to pretend looks don’t matter, which they definitely do. I feel it definitely relates heavily to self confidence as well and as someone who has lacked that at points it’s hard way to feel about yourself. Looks are NOT the be all and end all however, they’ll get your foot in the door and might be able to keep you in the room longer, but you’ll always get pushed back out if you have a rotten personality. If any incels do read this, i promise you that everyone you see is insecure about something, obviously the extent varies and how good someone’s ability to hide said insecurity is, but the notion remains the same that many many people don’t like ‘x’ thing about themselves. Following that, 99% of the general population is so focused on themselves and how others perceive them, that there not focusing on yourself or anyone else because they are too busy also worrying what other people think, although it might not always seem like, people are usually just faking it till they make it.
Side note: get some tattoos, as a literal twig my tattoos helped me so much with self confidence, not entirely sure why but i love them and it helped me so hope you all find something that helps you godspeed xx