Celasius
★★★★
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2023
- Posts
- 1,220
I’ve been feeling extremely empty for the past few days.
Like the type of looking back at your younger pictures in an attempt to reconnect with your lost childhood only to be hit with immediate remorse and sorrow levels of “I wanna cry but I can’t” feeling empty.
Maybe it’s cause I genuinely hate myself, and when I reflect on my past self and some of the tainted memories that came alongside it, I want that image to die and relinquish the same way I always try so hard to escape and let “bygones be bygones” or whatever. The “cringe” I feel is monumental and I can’t put it into words.
I genuinely cannot imagine having to live ten more years of this.
LMAO.
IMAGINE.
Ten more years of having no friends or anyone to resonate and bond with on a human scale.
Ten more years of having miraculous flashbacks of the relentless bullying and solitude on top of flashbacks of all the insane abuse you had to endure.
Ten more years of aimlessly searching for a solution or answer only for it to fall flat and deter you from everything else.
Ten more years of feeling lost, hopeless, cold, “““lonely,””” and nothing. Feeling nothing. Nothing, there is NOTHING. Just empty.
Like the type of looking back at your younger pictures in an attempt to reconnect with your lost childhood only to be hit with immediate remorse and sorrow levels of “I wanna cry but I can’t” feeling empty.
Maybe it’s cause I genuinely hate myself, and when I reflect on my past self and some of the tainted memories that came alongside it, I want that image to die and relinquish the same way I always try so hard to escape and let “bygones be bygones” or whatever. The “cringe” I feel is monumental and I can’t put it into words.
I genuinely cannot imagine having to live ten more years of this.
LMAO.
IMAGINE.
Ten more years of having no friends or anyone to resonate and bond with on a human scale.
Ten more years of having miraculous flashbacks of the relentless bullying and solitude on top of flashbacks of all the insane abuse you had to endure.
Ten more years of aimlessly searching for a solution or answer only for it to fall flat and deter you from everything else.
Ten more years of feeling lost, hopeless, cold, “““lonely,””” and nothing. Feeling nothing. Nothing, there is NOTHING. Just empty.