Story Embarassing Childhood Tale About My Autism

[universallyabhorred]

Back in the day when I was kid in 5th grade, I had a friend who let me hang with his other friends who I thought were genuine, but they just played with me because they pitied me and their parents were friends with mine. Deep down I knew I didn't connect with them the way friends should. I knew I wasn't normal and I had been diagnosed, even though I didn't know the exact nature of my diagnosis or understand it. Naturally my shitty abusive parents stigmatized it. Anyway at one point I think he asked about my disability and I mentioned having some birth defect and I could see his expression of pity. while he talked to me more and I was glad to have a friend who didn't pick on me, I felt this deep sense of anger and despair.

 

[Indari]

It has to do with gut flora. They have cured it with fecal transplants before

 

[universallyabhorred]

It has to do with gut flora. They have cured it with fecal transplants before

cope

 

[Indari]

cope

Look it up broh

 

[boojies]

Autism is a presentation with very many etiologies, which is why it is called a highly heterogeneous condition. The primary characteristic, albeit not exclusive to it, and not the only feature of it, is that it entails an atypically diminished activation of the DMN and concomitantly increased activation of the TPN. The exact way of expressing can even neurologically be quite diverse to my understanding; some may have an overabundance of neurons making blood saturation of the DMN difficult so as to have an overly developed DMN that cannot activate because of blood not being able to penetrate into it with enough oxygen to cause such, whereas others may have substantial lesioning and atrophy of the DMN such that oxygenated blood can readily access it but not do anything in terms of much neuronal activation because of the lack of such neurons.

 

[universallyabhorred]

Look it up broh

Title changed. Did you read the post?

Autism is a presentation with very many etiologies, which is why it is called a highly heterogeneous condition. The primary characteristic, albeit not exclusive to it, and not the only feature of it, is that it entails an atypically diminished activation of the DMN and concomitantly increased activation of the TPN. The exact way of expressing can even neurologically be quite diverse to my understanding; some may have an overabundance of neurons making blood saturation of the DMN difficult so as to have an overly developed DMN that cannot activate because of blood not being able to penetrate into it with enough oxygen to cause such, whereas others may have substantial lesioning and atrophy of the DMN such that oxygenated blood can readily access it but not do anything in terms of much neuronal activation because of the lack of such neurons.

DMN/TPN?

 

[bigantennaemay1]

So, playdates. I had a couple playdates back in 5th grade, too. And also because my mother was friends with their mothers. Those "friendships" ended pretty quickly, though. It was clear (at least in retrospect, not at the time, unfortunately, I was too autistic) that they had no interest in hanging out with me. Got diagnosed around the same time, too. That diagnosis meant to me at the time that I was different than my peers, in a very, very bad way. I think that was around the first time I started entertaining the idea of ending myself.

 

[boojies]

Title changed. Did you read the post?

DMN/TPN?

Two brain networks. Autism is essentially a hyper expression of the atheist brain. That's one of the reasons why the United States government has effectively declared us unable to legally reproduce by systematically outlawing all of our mating strategies, lest we dilute the pure genetic lineages guarded by the Christian Nazis, who think that they should primarily use the legal system of our government to actuate their psychotic crusades against nonexistence at our invariant egregious expense. They are a parasite on us, and we simply cannot live under the same system of government as them; we are mutually exclusive forms of life.

We are not the same life form as them, and they egregiously and in the most psychotic convoluted ways act to our detriment with full impunity. Their simple, primitive brains evolved to do little more than fight over who gets to inseminate the females, which has induced them all into a state of psychotic frenzy that is destroying the world as they have an endless sequence of psychotic tantrums regarding anything they perceive as a new form of sexual competition, and they campaign toward its extermination as an immoral abomination, while referencing a nonexistent fantasy world described in a themed collection of scientifically refuted fiction materials and simply refusing to accept the scientifically established fact that their establishment of religion has been scientifically refuted.

However, they were granted the authority to do this by an executive order that granted a branch of the CIA the right to effectively violate the law, which was immediately followed up by (actually it was seemingly retroactive to my perception) this CIA unit using their MKUltra hypnosis techniques on the supreme court and congress toward seizing full control of the nation, such that the constitutionality of the executive order couldn't even meaningfully be challenged. Certainly the supreme court having been induced into a state of hypnosis by the CIA is not going to rule the CIA having been granted the authority to violate the law in such manner unconstitutional, for they are under the brainwashing control of the CIA in any case, as is apparent as one can see them referencing the scriptures of the CIA's 20th century establishments of religion as if they were referencing scientific documentation.

 

[universallyabhorred]

So, playdates. I had a couple playdates back in 5th grade, too. And also because my mother was friends with their mothers. Those "friendships" ended pretty quickly, though. It was clear (at least in retrospect, not at the time, unfortunately, I was too autistic) that they had no interest in hanging out with me. Got diagnosed around the same time, too. That diagnosis meant to me at the time that I was different than my peers, in a very, very bad way. I think that was around the first time I started entertaining the idea of ending myself.

Not just playdates, since I actually hung with them in my old complex and sometimes in school. I was part of their group to some degree, especially the kids who were a year younger than me and bullied me. I had the lowest status in most social groups as expected for an autistic kid.

 

[bigantennaemay1]

Not just playdates, since I actually hung with them in my old complex and sometimes in school. I was part of their group to some degree, especially the kids who were a year younger than me and bullied me. I had the lowest status in most social groups as expected for an autistic kid.

I mean, I hung out with my playdates at their houses and in school, but it still felt forced. Their mothers would invite me over, not the guys themselves. And they wouldn't let me sit with them at lunch. But I was able to hang with them at recess, where they seemed to tolerate my presence.

Can't say I was a part of their groups, though. They both had their own separate groups they belonged to, and then the three of us were part of an artificial group constructed by our parents. I was the only reason those two hung out together. Now that I'm thinking back, every time we ever hung out, it was either recess, at the coercion of our teachers or the school councilor, or facilitated by our parents.

I was always the lowest status person in my entire grade level, I believe. Not the entire school, though. I think there was another kid one grade level below who seemed to be more autistic (lower functioning, I guess) and who was even more socially outcasted.

 

[Deleted member 20811]

I used to have "friends" too until middle school started. Middle school and beyond, I really became an outcast.

 

[universallyabhorred]

I mean, I hung out with my playdates at their houses and in school, but it still felt forced. Their mothers would invite me over, not the guys themselves. And they wouldn't let me sit with them at lunch. But I was able to hang with them at recess, where they seemed to tolerate my presence.

Can't say I was a part of their groups, though. They both had their own separate groups they belonged to, and then the three of us were part of an artificial group constructed by our parents. I was the only reason those two hung out together. Now that I'm thinking back, every time we ever hung out, it was either recess, at the coercion of our teachers or the school councilor, or facilitated by our parents.

I was always the lowest status person in my entire grade level, I believe. Not the entire school, though. I think there was another kid one grade level below who seemed to be more autistic (lower functioning, I guess) and who was even more socially outcasted.

This was kind of my experience, but I also initiated social interaction a lot myself, which meant I'd often go to their houses and ask if they could play in my complex and sometimes we would. Some of these "friends" were made through my own interaction, though most were through parents. But I was just kept in their group to be bullied.

As for my popularity in my school, I was almost certainly the least popular, other than kids who were almost fully in special education, since I wasn't disabled enough to take remedial classes with them, but I was forced to take a social skills class which didn't help at all. There might have been one or two guys who were less popular than me in my grade at times but generally I was least popular.

 

[bigantennaemay1]

This was kind of my experience, but I also initiated social interaction a lot myself, which meant I'd often go to their houses and ask if they could play in my complex and sometimes we would. Some of these "friends" were made through my own interaction, though most were through parents. But I was just kept in their group to be bullied.

Yeah. I was a stunted social retard who never learned how to form friendships or socialize with people properly until I was about 24, and even then (and now), I still can't do it very well despite the effort I've put into teaching myself, and the few friendships I've made feel flimsy and ready to collapse at any moment.

Otherwise sounds like we've had very similar childhoods. I'm truly sorry.

 

[universallyabhorred]

Two brain networks. Autism is essentially a hyper expression of the atheist brain. That's one of the reasons why the United States government has effectively declared us unable to legally reproduce by systematically outlawing all of our mating strategies, lest we dilute the pure genetic lineages guarded by the Christian Nazis, who think that they should primarily use the legal system of our government to actuate their psychotic crusades against nonexistence at our invariant egregious expense. They are a parasite on us, and we simply cannot live under the same system of government as them; we are mutually exclusive forms of life.

We are not the same life form as them, and they egregiously and in the most psychotic convoluted ways act to our detriment with full impunity. Their simple, primitive brains evolved to do little more than fight over who gets to inseminate the females, which has induced them all into a state of psychotic frenzy that is destroying the world as they have an endless sequence of psychotic tantrums regarding anything they perceive as a new form of sexual competition, and they campaign toward its extermination as an immoral abomination, while referencing a nonexistent fantasy world described in a themed collection of scientifically refuted fiction materials and simply refusing to accept the scientifically established fact that their establishment of religion has been scientifically refuted.

However, they were granted the authority to do this by an executive order that granted a branch of the CIA the right to effectively violate the law, which was immediately followed up by (actually it was seemingly retroactive to my perception) this CIA unit using their MKUltra hypnosis techniques on the supreme court and congress toward seizing full control of the nation, such that the constitutionality of the executive order couldn't even meaningfully be challenged. Certainly the supreme court having been induced into a state of hypnosis by the CIA is not going to rule the CIA having been granted the authority to violate the law in such manner unconstitutional, for they are under the brainwashing control of the CIA in any case, as is apparent as one can see them referencing the scriptures of the CIA's 20th century establishments of religion as if they were referencing scientific documentation.

What have you been smoking boyo? This is the most nonsensical conspiracy theory I have ever read.

the few friendships I've made feel flimsy and ready to collapse at any moment.

You are lucky it's working out for you. At the end of the day, I ended up with absolutely no friends or acquaintances, even online. Currently I am alone and isolated.

 

[bigantennaemay1]

You are lucky it's working out for you. At the end of the day, I ended up with absolutely no friends or acquaintances, even online. Currently I am alone and isolated.

I'm sorry to hear that. I guess I really am lucky, in a way.