When I was living with my aunt for some time, because of issues at home.She decided to take me in for a year or two.Anyway, She’s an assistant living nurse and takes care of old people and such, at a nursing home.Out of boredom I’d go along with her on her night shifts 11pm to 7 am in the morning , and the shit that I seen there was not what I expected. I thought nursing homes were old people with their families next to them and generally happy conditions. It was the opposite, I seen old men and women wandering the hallways in their night gowns covered in pee or poop.
Occasionally you hear people yelling “I want it to end” or “they wanna die” in their rooms. They looked like they were already dead ,they looked so hopeless. Also, people never come to visit most old folks, my aunt says most just visit on holidays. I remember I was rewatching Dragon ball z: broly legendary ssj(this happened in 2017btw) by the front desk. My aunt was busy with another patient(theres only 3-4 nurses during night shift).A old white guy shuffled up to me, and made the finger gun gesture with his hand and said “ I wanna die so bad” . My aunt comes down the hall and asks him what’s wrong. He says “ I don’t wanna live anymore,I wanna die already.” My aunt is a strong baptist Christian says “God will take you when you are ready.” He says “ I’m ready ,NOW!” .I asked her did she get this a lot from the people here and she says “ yes, they do , but they do it so frequently that it’s not much they can do.Many don’t get many visitors and or lonely and in pain.”
I couldn’t even go to sleep, at that point . It dawned on me that will be me if I don’t rope. I will wither away in a corner somewhere dying alone. People make it seem like it isn’t a big deal, but it looks way worse when you see /experience it imo.Btw, I think he passed away most likely,that man was 84 years old and still kicking. (R.I.P Coner) I wanna die before I get that old , it looked painful just to breathe let alone walk.
TLDR : I witnessed old people want to die and how dying alone truly is one of the most painful way to leave this earth.
What I thought it would look like:
What it actually was:
Occasionally you hear people yelling “I want it to end” or “they wanna die” in their rooms. They looked like they were already dead ,they looked so hopeless. Also, people never come to visit most old folks, my aunt says most just visit on holidays. I remember I was rewatching Dragon ball z: broly legendary ssj(this happened in 2017btw) by the front desk. My aunt was busy with another patient(theres only 3-4 nurses during night shift).A old white guy shuffled up to me, and made the finger gun gesture with his hand and said “ I wanna die so bad” . My aunt comes down the hall and asks him what’s wrong. He says “ I don’t wanna live anymore,I wanna die already.” My aunt is a strong baptist Christian says “God will take you when you are ready.” He says “ I’m ready ,NOW!” .I asked her did she get this a lot from the people here and she says “ yes, they do , but they do it so frequently that it’s not much they can do.Many don’t get many visitors and or lonely and in pain.”
I couldn’t even go to sleep, at that point . It dawned on me that will be me if I don’t rope. I will wither away in a corner somewhere dying alone. People make it seem like it isn’t a big deal, but it looks way worse when you see /experience it imo.Btw, I think he passed away most likely,that man was 84 years old and still kicking. (R.I.P Coner) I wanna die before I get that old , it looked painful just to breathe let alone walk.
TLDR : I witnessed old people want to die and how dying alone truly is one of the most painful way to leave this earth.
What I thought it would look like:
What it actually was:
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