Discussion Don't try to make people feel sorry for you

[Limitcel]

Nobody understands anyone in this world, women may even receive a little more empathy than men but I'm sure there's a chemical reason for this in the brain

In the sense that you shouldn't expect people to understand your reasons for acting in a certain way, and I do believe that many guys and I myself had this illusion even if I didn't consciously admit it.

Because suffering is not possible to describe in a way that everyone understands the same, it is very easy to perceive this when you suffer from some illness or experience in life that it's hard to find someone else who's been through this, it's very easy for a stranger to belittle pain he's never experienced in his life

And it doesn't really change anything if someone even cares

 

[Ubermenschvirtues]

You can only imagine how someone feels,you dont know how he feels.

 

[Third Eye]

Absolutely right. It's easy to downplay or dismiss someone else's pain if you haven't experienced it yourself.

 

[Grodd]

Absolutely right. It's easy to downplay or dismiss someone else's pain if you haven't experienced it yourself.

 

[Limitcel]

Don't try

 

[Neucher The Kanga]

Don't try

It backfires in 99% of cases

 

[OutcompetedByRoomba]

I think this might be good advice for most users. Trying to build a genuine connection like that with normies will go badly in most cases.

Personally, I managed to get multiple people in my life to sympathize with me but I'm quite good with words and, by now, nearly shame-free when it comes to these topics. I'm slowly coming to the point where I might openly talk about my inceldom-related issues with just about anyone and not feel scared or even nervous.

But opening up that far and making yourself this vulnerable is neither easy nor risk free, and I wouldn't try it at work or with a gaming friend group. Think a therapist would be a good place to practice. So you get all the stupid mistakes out of your system. People you can stand to be cut off from or people payed/forced to interact with you are a good choice I would say.

You will still most likely fail if you are too desperate and needy. Weakness is a huge turn-off to most people in ways they usually don't consciously recognize.

But, as I said, I had multiple good experiences with opening up. It works best when you have a decently high IQ but I think you can manage it even without one, as long as you a) are careful not to demand too much. People won't switch their entire world view on its head just because you asked. Small steps in the right direction. One step at a time.

And b) focus on the more socially acceptable parts. No Jews, no revolution, nothing that would get you banned on any social media platform. And c) take the risk and make yourself vulnerable. Without being ashamed. Which might take some practice.

I feel like it's worth trying from time to time because it just sucks ass not being able to express who you are. And this also prevents you from ever standing up for your own interests, defending your own opinions, being authentic and unfiltered. Which prevents you from finding other people like you.

Also, if you aren't great with words, probably best to just look around online for someone else to put what you are feeling into phrases that you can steal and reuse in your own life.

 

[curryboy420]

I think this might be good advice for most users. Trying to build a genuine connection like that with normies will go badly in most cases.

Personally, I managed to get multiple people in my life to sympathize with me but I'm quite good with words and, by now, nearly shame-free when it comes to these topics. I'm slowly coming to the point where I might openly talk about my inceldom-related issues with just about anyone and not feel scared or even nervous.

But opening up that far and making yourself this vulnerable is neither easy nor risk free, and I wouldn't try it at work or with a gaming friend group. Think a therapist would be a good place to practice. So you get all the stupid mistakes out of your system. People you can stand to be cut off from or people payed/forced to interact with you are a good choice I would say.

You will still most likely fail if you are too desperate and needy. Weakness is a huge turn-off to most people in ways they usually don't consciously recognize.

But, as I said, I had multiple good experiences with opening up. It works best when you have a decently high IQ but I think you can manage it even without one, as long as you a) are careful not to demand too much. People won't switch their entire world view on its head just because you asked. Small steps in the right direction. One step at a time.

And b) focus on the more socially acceptable parts. No Jews, no revolution, nothing that would get you banned on any social media platform. And c) take the risk and make yourself vulnerable. Without being ashamed. Which might take some practice.

I feel like it's worth trying from time to time because it just sucks ass not being able to express who you are. And this also prevents you from ever standing up for your own interests, defending your own opinions, being authentic and unfiltered. Which prevents you from finding other people like you.

Also, if you aren't great with words, probably best to just look around online for someone else to put what you are feeling into phrases that you can steal and reuse in your own life.

The fuck do you mean no Jews? They are directly to blame for the amount of incels that otherwise should have normal lives. You either get it or you don't. And people that don't, aren't worth convincing.

 

[OutcompetedByRoomba]

The fuck do you mean no Jews? They are directly to blame for the amount of incels that otherwise should have normal lives. You either get it or you don't. And people that don't, aren't worth convincing.

"How to lose in the public arena and remain isolated from everyone around you forever. Works 100% of the time or your money back!"

 

[over_department]

You can only imagine how someone feels,you dont know how he feels.

 

[XtremeMax]

Absolutely right. It's easy to downplay or dismiss someone else's pain if you haven't experienced it yourself.

Well said

 

[Lazyandtalentless]

I feel empty when I have nobody who cares

 

[Enigmaz]

Yes, normalize never showing any vulnerability. I haven't said sorry in over 15 years.

 

[BSGMANLET]

I've come to this conclusion early on. I can only imagine how someone feels but nothing more. We all live similar lives that's why we understand each other to an extent but if I were to just see a random guy I didn't know in the street in the same position as me. I'd act like I didn't care because that's how society treats men like us.

I don't care about anyone's problems/feelings except mine. Thats also normal because every human has different but similar experiences..
That seems wrong but noone cares or understands you better than [you] anyway.

 

[failmaxxed]

 

[Emba]

"How to lose in the public arena and remain isolated from everyone around you forever. Works 100% of the time or your money back!"

"Triple you're money back!"

 

[BlackLowLtn]

Nobody understands anyone in this world, women may even receive a little more empathy than men but I'm sure there's a chemical reason for this in the brain

In the sense that you shouldn't expect people to understand your reasons for acting in a certain way, and I do believe that many guys and I myself had this illusion even if I didn't consciously admit it.

Because suffering is not possible to describe in a way that everyone understands the same, it is very easy to perceive this when you suffer from some illness or experience in life that it's hard to find someone else who's been through this, it's very easy for a stranger to belittle pain he's never experienced in his life

And it doesn't really change anything if someone even cares

My most popular thread is quite literally me falling for this delusion no normie will understand.

 

[Limitcel]

My most popular thread is quite literally me falling for this delusion no normie will understand.

that's why i posted it, your story is absolutely tragic, i saw someone repost it and no one cared, it made me realize that

 

[Darth Aries]

This is the only place where I can be truly understood

 

[Third Eye]

Well said

Thank you

 

[BlackLowLtn]

that's why i posted it, your story is absolutely tragic, i saw someone repost it and no one cared, it made me realize that

Someone reposted it? Can you send the link?

Fuck that hurts even more though, atleast I could've coped with normies just not finding it.