M
I don't give a fuck about anybody's pity i'm just making this post to get closure before i die, I'm 18 years old and all my life i've wanted to commit ever since i was a baby i would get abused by my dad for the most basic stuff like shitting in my diaper or crying. Fast forward to elementary school and i was always the shortest and ugliest kid in school, I would always make friends with the other ugly guys and we would read diary of a wimpy kid or captain underpants and that was basically the only time i had any real friends. after that in middle school i transferred around schools because my mom wanted me to get into some prestige lottery middle school but of course i didn't get in unlike both of my siblings (story of my shit life), So she put me in a charter school and there i basically had two friends who were only there for me during lunch and recess. One was a tall asian guy and the other was a average hispanic, I was seen as the short loser who everyone made fun of and the girls looked at with disgust. Fast forward to 8th grade and we moved to the suburbs instead of the city and i was around upper middle class whites, This was the start of my total and complete isolation and was the catalyst to why i'm doing this today. I was basically a ghost and had nobody, I would cope with watching anime on my school chromebook and playing mobile games on my phone during lunch until 11th grade when we could go outside. During 11th and 12th grade i basically went to school during the morning and then just skipped the entire day playing overwatch and roblox until i slept at 12-1am, I would repeat this cycle until it came time to graduate and the worst part was when my parents were asking me where my friends were so we could take pictures with our cap and gown. I felt like killing myself there meanwhile everyone else was having fun with their friends, After high school i stuck to the same routine of watching anime and playing video games until my mom started bothering me about getting a job. I got a job at a local burger shop and started wage slaving every week making 16$ an hour which was alot of money to me at the time until eventually i quit from not being able to play games and enjoy my free time without waking up early every other day and actually enjoy my life. Fast forward to today i'm still jobless, have no ambition to do anything in life and even video games and anime don't fix this void in my soul. I plan on killing myself soon with a rope and a tree at a local park at night, Since it's already winter and it's getting darker i am planning on going at 3-4am and tying a noose knot and attaching it to the tree. I'll soon be free and i won't have to deal with normies giving me dirty stares and women crossing the street just to avoid me, You guys have pointed out alot of truth and if it wasn't for the incel community i wouldn't have known why i was being treated this way. I'm 5'6, brown, ugly and autistic for anyone wondering so there's no hope for me even geomaxxing, I will continue to make posts until monday comes so please ask me any questions or anything u want to know. And please don't try to discourage me i've already made up my mind.
