Does excessive drug use count jfl?
But eh, I've physically harmed myself before but not in a "self-harm" tier way. Sometimes I've just done things for the fuck of it that have a high likelihood of leaving me injured or because i'm just too unfocused to think before I act and end up getting several burns or someshit. Adrenaline is both a nice high to chase, yet also drives you to do whatever too.
I've performed some small insignificant operations on myself for certain things before, removing and cutting out debris from my skin, Cleaning, and dressing, or eventually stitching other wounds. I don't really see much merit in going to doctors if I can avoid it. It's less about price because it costs nothing here but I hate waiting around. General illnesses I don't care about. The only thing doctors can do for me that I would consider any use are just providing me with a ton of free opiates which they'll never do.
I always keep some recording of whatever it is just incase I did somehow fuck it up the process of trying to fix it and I did somehow need to show them what I did. That and I guess its interesting to look back at sometimes. In all honesty though the main reason why is that I could better spend the time it takes to see a doctor just sat at home drinking or jerking off or whatever. Something that I don't consider a waste of time. If I can fix it myself, why bother going.
Illnesses and such are another thing too. I never go when I get odd symptoms that are probably a result of me just never being sober. It's really not worth the time it takes imo to go find out what the problem might be. If I end up with a terminal illness (i'm counting on it), it's not like i'm accepting treatment. Not in any reality. My goal isn't to prolong my existence. It's merely to farm dopamine any way I possibly can with what little time I have left.
