SuicideFuel Does anyone else have glimmers of hope that last for half a second, a reminder of youth?

[epillepsy]

I remember when I was young, I used to go out driving at night when my parents were asleep, smoking and listening to electronic music. The feeling of happiness and amiable future was with me and the curve of the road would match exactly the curve of my emotion.
Now my brain sometimes forgets what it has learned and for a millisecond gives me a taste of that feeling, but only for a very short time. Then I remember I'm old and ugly and nothing in the world. It's dispiriting to say the least. If this didn't happen occasionally I would probably forget that it's even possible to be happy.

 

[failmaxxed]

no I hate hope
it feels like shit when your delusions go away and the choking acrid smoke of reality comes back and floods your body

 

[epillepsy]

no I hate hope
it feels like shit when your delusions go away and the choking acrid smoke of reality comes back and floods your body

I dislike it as well and would prefer it not happen.

 

[failmaxxed]

I dislike it as well and would prefer it not happen.

its ineveiatable
the mind is a self sabotaging fool

 

[ihaveno1]

Sometimes, it’s a shame that it never goes anywhere