(audio for people who don't like to read
)(text for people who don't like to listen
)Hey, yeah, it's me again. It is 4 38 a.m. "Arizona" time.
That's right boyo, we got our own time zone. It's pretty cool.
Everyone's like, you know, "how can Arizona have its own time zone?". It's like well just fucking look it up because we say so You know, we're in the mountain standard time zone, but we don't do daylight savings.... Aw, it's really dumb. So, you gotta say like "Arizona time".
Yeah, but anyway-- or maybe it's smart cuz daylight savings is fucking dumb. I wanted to talk to you guys about a personal issue of mine, which I will continue to do in the future because it's a good release from it.
I never talk about things. I don't have a therapist or anything. I don't want one. I hate therapists, man. Just fucking.. paid, you know, you know beaucoup bills to fucking listen to your problems, offer no solutions, and then worse yet, like, invalidate you ...hahah...
..by saying... by, like, trying to change your perception of your reality like:
"No, you don't know what you know, you know what I think you want to know."
You know, gaslighting essentially.
And it sucks, I don't like therapists. They're fucking bad people. My mom's a therapist. And that's actually what I wanted to talk about --not her being a therapist, just moms in general.
I mean OK, here's the deal, dude confession time: I've I've watched a lot I mean a fucking lot of, you know, MILF, "mature", mom.. hentai.
Holy Christ, I hope my roommates didn't hear me say that. It's 4! They should be asleep! And I'm like, I'm the only asshole that's gonna be up at 4 or 5 a.m... I hope. But yeah, it's just it's, you know, ever since I was a kid I liked milf stuff... Just I.. Maybe I just like, you know "big boobies and ass
))))))", you know, probably that's half of it. But it's just the maternal part is another bit, too. Because it's like with the hentai I watch or read, it's either straight-up mom-son incest or it's like this mature lady that our main protag guy is having a sexual relationship with but she acts as a maternal figure for him.And for me, I'm like: that.. that sounds great man. Because it fulfills two fantasies of mine and that's like: you know, #1 having a mom that actually gives a shit about me and #2 having a you know, a romantic slash sexual partner. Yeah, I might have some.. might might have some mommy issues..... just just a little bit..
I Knew my mom as....
It's really weird because you know, the traditional gender roles and, in my household that I grew up in, they were completely flipped off. Because it's like my mom was the breadwinner and then my dad was the you know, stay at home, you know, watch-the-kids type. And it was just that dad was fun for the most part and you know and I liked him. But the main problem I have with my dad is just he gave me a horrible, horrible, SHITTY life advice that only worked for him because he is a lucky motherfucker who got just such good (12/10) face genes.
And then he he found this vulnerable autistic girl at just the right moment in her life when she was like having an eating disorder and shit and then, you know, they plowed (in High School). And then they got married and then moved to this... you know the shittiest state in our entire fucking country (Arizona)
And then had two boys in their 30s.
..Fucking ..WHY... Cause, why would you, you know, have them immediately when you got married in at 23? It's like: "No. No, honey. Let's wait to seven years. Let's wait seven fucking years to have kids. That's not gonna that's gonna affect things at all. Don't worry about it. You know, we'll just do it when we're ready."
That's everyone's fucking excuse. What was I saying? Oh yeah! No, the reason I don't like my father much is..
I used to be a moralist as a kid I'm kind of evil now, but you know when I was a kid, I was a diehard "tight-ass", you know? "Do-what-authority-says-because-authorities-say-it type of guy. Like I was brainwashed to the CORE --America boy over here.
Like, me as a kid really thinking: "You know, people in power are there for a reason. There's no other ulterior motive at all. You don't have to look into it at all. Don't worry about it."
But yeah So, you know he was it was my leader I was like, "I'm gonna follow the leader cuz he's super badass and stuff".
(how I thought of my dad)
He's not that at all. You know, I just realized that as an adult. So yeah, you know, I just wish he did a better job at man-ing me up. And I wish my mom was a mom, you know? I wish they went back to traditional gender roles.
My mom was.. the "mean lady" who got home at 9 p.m. who told me to do my homework. And I used to take fucking forever with my homework cuz I'm I'm dumb and also, you know, a Perfectionist. So I'd take like four hours or so. Even sometimes seven too.. maybe nine hours (that might be exaggerating a bit) doing shit. Uh, it was not a good time for me
But yeah maybe I should lay off the uhh milf porn stuff because it's getting really weird.I mean, I haven't I haven't like, you know, choked the chicken in a while now. Which is worrying me a bit.
I mean, I know my testosterone is low, but it's like: Goddamn what what happened to my libido? Fucking where did it go? I was so horny like one week ago. I popped like a boner at work because I was like thinking of a sexual thing and then you know I get home and I'm like "All right! Time to time to jerk off!" and I was just like "fucking... I'm not feeling it, man, this is so fucking lame." That's my that's my attitude towards porn now. It's just like I'm looking at a computer screen. I guess that just happens with getting older, you're just more conscious with things.
I Can't really get into it. All right, that's all I wanted to say. Byeeeeeeeeeee
Fucking so lame. All right.
See you. What should I call this? I was gonna I was gonna type something out cuz Yeah, I was gonna Yeah, I was gonna probably gonna type it out. I don't know.
Maybe I'll ... I'll throw this in a caption generator See what it gets. All right.
Thanks. See you
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. I fixed it a bit.)
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