I don't have it anymore, but I really mean this. I know Incels have a propensity to grossly exaggerate, but I really, sincerely think I got PTSD from being an awkward fuck-up.
I have always been hyper self-aware, and being a legit .5/10 with social retardation from ages 13-16 really fucked me up really badly. Again, I had nicknames like "pizzaface" and people called me "pube beard". Girls made fun of me. So let's look at the symptoms of PTSD and how I lined up
Flashback: Didn't have it at random times. However, situations such as being near a girl in class sometimes brought back quick memories of my most mentally horrific experiences. I'd get lost in these memories. Verdict: Yes
Fear/Anxiety: Oh, most certainly. I'd get scared of being picked to be with a girl in an assignment. I'd be scared of sitting next to one. When we did group assignments and combined our desks, I'd have my desk turned to the side so that I would not fully be in the group. I'd literally get red and sweaty at the thought of standing up to sharpen my pencil or blow my nose.Verdict: Yes
Mistrust: Not really. I kept Oneitising girls and didn't realize AWALT. I also didn't fully realize human nature. Verdict: No
Agitation/Hostility/Irritability: Not outwardly around people I wasn't too close with, because I wanted to avoid being an autist. But I did exhibit a lot of anger and malice around family and friends (Not towards them). Verdict: Partially
Self-Destructive Behavior/Social Isolation: I'd avoid talking to people, especially girls, out of fear of embarrassment. Sometimes I'd do things out of spite for life itself, it's sort of hard to explain. Avoided things out of fear and spite. For example, I started eating lunch alone to spite my "friends", but also because they made fun of me. Verdict: Yes
Insomnia or Nightmares: No. Verdict: No
Emotional Detachment: I always talked in a monotone and was depressed. But I'd also get excited at the prospect of being with a Oneitis. Verdict: Partially
Unwanted Thoughts: I literally had an urge to commit murder that can't be described as anything other than an instinctive urge. Verdict: Yes
tl;dr: If a "yes" is 2 points and a "partially" is 1 point I scored a 10/16 on my self-assessment.
I have always been hyper self-aware, and being a legit .5/10 with social retardation from ages 13-16 really fucked me up really badly. Again, I had nicknames like "pizzaface" and people called me "pube beard". Girls made fun of me. So let's look at the symptoms of PTSD and how I lined up
Flashback: Didn't have it at random times. However, situations such as being near a girl in class sometimes brought back quick memories of my most mentally horrific experiences. I'd get lost in these memories. Verdict: Yes
Fear/Anxiety: Oh, most certainly. I'd get scared of being picked to be with a girl in an assignment. I'd be scared of sitting next to one. When we did group assignments and combined our desks, I'd have my desk turned to the side so that I would not fully be in the group. I'd literally get red and sweaty at the thought of standing up to sharpen my pencil or blow my nose.Verdict: Yes
Mistrust: Not really. I kept Oneitising girls and didn't realize AWALT. I also didn't fully realize human nature. Verdict: No
Agitation/Hostility/Irritability: Not outwardly around people I wasn't too close with, because I wanted to avoid being an autist. But I did exhibit a lot of anger and malice around family and friends (Not towards them). Verdict: Partially
Self-Destructive Behavior/Social Isolation: I'd avoid talking to people, especially girls, out of fear of embarrassment. Sometimes I'd do things out of spite for life itself, it's sort of hard to explain. Avoided things out of fear and spite. For example, I started eating lunch alone to spite my "friends", but also because they made fun of me. Verdict: Yes
Insomnia or Nightmares: No. Verdict: No
Emotional Detachment: I always talked in a monotone and was depressed. But I'd also get excited at the prospect of being with a Oneitis. Verdict: Partially
Unwanted Thoughts: I literally had an urge to commit murder that can't be described as anything other than an instinctive urge. Verdict: Yes
tl;dr: If a "yes" is 2 points and a "partially" is 1 point I scored a 10/16 on my self-assessment.
