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Forum Diary Entry No.1 October, 3,2024, Location: My Parents House Alone. Mood: Lonely
[TLDR: Skip To The Last Sentence][VERY VERBOSE]
[TLDR: Skip To The Last Sentence][VERY VERBOSE]
There is self-deception that overcomes the logical reasoning of the men here. Oftentimes, nocturnal frights present to us and help develop the symptom formation of anxiety, and this plagues us upon awakening. This is the uniform result of the many men here. While men here have inner resistances, and while opinion differ widely, it could be universally admitted that the contrasting ethical impulses along with the psychic energy accumulated during the day haunts us and fires back at us.
I am haunted, but my hopes of happiness are unaffected. My inner psychic life has been exhaustively examined by those online and off, and I feel as if I have a psychic infection. This oftentimes put me in very uncomfortable frames of mind given the manifold relations and combined results of the many strata of thought I have.
If we all converge upon the paths and look at the times where our desire is unwilling to check itself then we can easily grasp our counter thoughts. If it were permissible to generalize this notion then this could be a kernel of truth that we all hold on too, but we are therefore confronted with an inner disquisition and this itself presents to us a perfection of the conflict of the will that we are unable to understand and battle. Thus, we fight with ourselves. I draw this situation from the profoundest depths of the eternal nature of humanity and while society commonly fosters the growth of the germ of hatred which infects the masses and which passes through the various psychic states, we represent the type of men whose active energy is paralyzed by excessive intellectual activity thus leaving us indecisive. This is not up for a hyper-interpretation and the psychic motive or the psychic material of which I am wrought to use is not simply up for debate but what i argue is an empirical proposition which is given constant renewal. I many times daily lose my train of thought to even type these things.
I am closely allied to anxiety, and this leads to predestined ambiguity in every action and non-action and from the very outset I can predict this negative feeling arising. Men, we must bear in mind the curious plasticity of the psychic material we are given and inhere as it admits use it to our advance to spread the truth and guard against sophism. These ideas are relatively new. I am not representative of the will of the masses but only representative of us. Many hours of solitary suffering will occur, and we must remember through the approaching autumn darkness of the night and through our personal reminiscences... we must at all cost keep what is deeply forever imprinted on our hearts through these depressive silences that we go through, while we look at the night while its overcast by publish black clouds, and while we peer into the cold twilight and lay our heads down and suffer our miserable plight somewhere deep down we know the truth that women/men are evil horrible creatures. They are responsible for our everlasting torture and while our eyes swim with tears and while we go through inexhaustible reminisces while poverty stricken, we must remember as long as there is life, there is happiness.
