I remember feeling this way when I was as young as 12, although if you had asked me then, I wouldn't have been able to fully put into words why it was that I felt that way.
It's a combination of several different factors, one of them is the knowledge that through the act of destroying one particular thing, you're eliminating countless diverging paths from the chain of causality. Suppose you kill two mice, now imagine the amount of mice you've effectively prevented from ever having the potential of being alive. Another is the fact that destruction is irreversible, and ultimately far more impactful than any form of creation. You can create countless ceramic plates, but you'll never be able to reverse one of them being smashed to pieces, no matter the effort you expend. Finally and most importantly, it's the realization that the "existence" of anything is fleeting, pointless, and ultimately futile anyway. Any living thing having been prevented from ever finding itself alive has been done an immeasurable favor, due to the illusory nature of positive utility(you can only improve life by fixing problems caused by it's own existence). However I only could've (partly) explained the first two to you before I became an adult and my thoughts, beliefs, and feelings became further cemented into me.
Every time news reaches me that something alive has been permanently removed from the equation, I feel a deep sense of peace and tranquility. Matter is the ultimate distributor of pain, futile striving, and autocannibalism, destruction is the cure.
It's a combination of several different factors, one of them is the knowledge that through the act of destroying one particular thing, you're eliminating countless diverging paths from the chain of causality. Suppose you kill two mice, now imagine the amount of mice you've effectively prevented from ever having the potential of being alive. Another is the fact that destruction is irreversible, and ultimately far more impactful than any form of creation. You can create countless ceramic plates, but you'll never be able to reverse one of them being smashed to pieces, no matter the effort you expend. Finally and most importantly, it's the realization that the "existence" of anything is fleeting, pointless, and ultimately futile anyway. Any living thing having been prevented from ever finding itself alive has been done an immeasurable favor, due to the illusory nature of positive utility(you can only improve life by fixing problems caused by it's own existence). However I only could've (partly) explained the first two to you before I became an adult and my thoughts, beliefs, and feelings became further cemented into me.
Every time news reaches me that something alive has been permanently removed from the equation, I feel a deep sense of peace and tranquility. Matter is the ultimate distributor of pain, futile striving, and autocannibalism, destruction is the cure.
