I ended up focusing on this as this was some of the only positive reinforcement I got and ended up on these looksmaxxing websites which I later realized were incel websites.
By that point I had already spent a significant amount of time either on those communities or gaming. Initially I wanted to get on to brag or get attention but I was quickly attacked by other users due to my race.
I am Asian and those forums tended to be very white supremacist. They would pretty much say any non white looking minority was fucked for life and would talk nonstop about how ugly white dudes can fuck hot women of any race. Only problem looking back was the majority of the users were white and either larping about being other races or severely depressed and never talked to a girl.
So this community which I wanted to find that was devoted to looking good and studying it scientifically turned into this really racist hateful and nasty echo chamber.
I met some good people there who were just normal dudes and they all confirmed I looked fine. However the more time I spent there the more convinced I was by all the hate that I was fucked as an Asian guy and I needed to get advanced surgeries to look good.
Their were some normal ish guys there who did confirm to me I was fine and should get off this website but I never listened. I think I wanted to be validated on there for my looks.
This ended up making me resent white people as this was the only image I got of them in my formative years. Most of them were really nasty, racist, insecure and looking back delusional about how the world works.
