Serious Dear feds, I want to become an FBI agent (fedcels gtfih)

[El Diablo]

Since this forum is clearly run by the FBI, I figured that this is the best place to apply for a fed job. I have a better chance of my resume being seen by a fed on here and getting hired than if I went to apply on fbi.com/jobs or whatever it is. I am tired of neeting and I need to make some money. Feds, please consider me for any computer related job openings.


Here are my qualifications:

-No university degree, but I have many skills that mog even PhD-having normies.

-Above average IQ. Professionally tested at 128

-Extremely good with computers. I am familiar with all major OSes including Windows, Mac, and Linux. I can install, backup, and format computers with ease.

-Knowledge and experience working with a wide variety of software. MS Word, Excel, Docs, Photoshop, Notepad, just to name a few.

-Fast learner. Even if I don't know how to do something, I can probably figure it out on my own in an hour or two.

-Good at working with huge amounts of data while staying organized. I maintain a huge organized library of hentai.

-As an experienced NEET rotter, I have no trouble sitting down at a desk and staring at a screen for 8+ hours a day.

-Highly motivated and disciplined individual. My nofap record is about 60 days.

-I am a virgin incel, so I have no gf/wife/kids to distract me from being a good wagie. I do not need to constantly take time off to take my kids to doctors appointments and stuff like that. I will be the perfect beta slave for you


In conclusion, I am quite possibly the best candidate on this forum. Feds, please send me a PM if you are interested in hiring me. I look forward to being a part of your wonderful agency

 

[Animecel2D]

There are a few steps you can take to become an FBI agent:

1. Meet the minimum eligibility requirements: To apply, you must be at least 23 years old, have a bachelor's degree, and have a clean criminal record. You must also pass a physical fitness test, a drug test, and a polygraph exam.

2. Complete the FBI application: You can find the FBI application online. It requires a lot of personal information, so be prepared to provide references, previous employment history, and educational details.

3. Pass an interview: You'll likely have to undergo an extensive interview process with the FBI. This may include in-person interviews with multiple agency officials, written tests, and a thorough background check.

4. Attend the FBI Academy: If you're accepted, you'll travel to the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia for training. The FBI Academy is a 22-week program that provides training in investigation, law, language, firearms, and physical fitness.

5. Complete a field internship: After you graduate from the FBI Academy, you'll be assigned to a field office for a 10-week internship. This will provide you with hands-on experience in the field.

6. Become a special agent: After your internship, you'll be a special agent and will be assigned to a specific division within the FBI. You'll work under the guidance of a senior special agent and will undergo further training and professional development.

 

[El Diablo]

@based_meme if this is true please help me out bro

based_meme is a fed

frightfulcel Watching and waiting Jul 7, 2023 Add bookmark #9 Its basically designed for deradicalization and to monitor individuals of the "dangerous ideology" they perceive. They ban users to cause drama and tear apart the community. Its something that's been used for years. When you make...

incels.is

 

[El Diablo]

There are a few steps you can take to become an FBI agent:

1. Meet the minimum eligibility requirements: To apply, you must be at least 23 years old, have a bachelor's degree, and have a clean criminal record. You must also pass a physical fitness test, a drug test, and a polygraph exam.

2. Complete the FBI application: You can find the FBI application online. It requires a lot of personal information, so be prepared to provide references, previous employment history, and educational details.

3. Pass an interview: You'll likely have to undergo an extensive interview process with the FBI. This may include in-person interviews with multiple agency officials, written tests, and a thorough background check.

4. Attend the FBI Academy: If you're accepted, you'll travel to the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia for training. The FBI Academy is a 22-week program that provides training in investigation, law, language, firearms, and physical fitness.

5. Complete a field internship: After you graduate from the FBI Academy, you'll be assigned to a field office for a 10-week internship. This will provide you with hands-on experience in the field.

6. Become a special agent: After your internship, you'll be a special agent and will be assigned to a specific division within the FBI. You'll work under the guidance of a senior special agent and will undergo further training and professional development.

I don't have a bachelor's degree and I don't have time to do all that bullshit. I just want a job man

 

[El Diablo]

Forgot to mention that I have no problem relocating to a different city or country either, as long as my travel accommodations are provided.

 

[Animecel2D]

I don't have a bachelor's degree and I don't have time to do all that bullshit. I just want a job man

Then you must betray your incel brothers and become an informant for us

 

[El Diablo]

Once they find out you were on an incel forum (which they will) , its over.

Damn so it never began for me huh

Also not having a gf or sexual experience is abnormal so that will get you booted too.

I thought that's a quality they would like to see tho

I have no gf/wife/kids to distract me from being a good wagie

 

[frmentalcel]

ill have someone reach out to you soon

 

[El Diablo]

ill have someone reach out to you soon

It just began for me

 

[based_meme]

@based_meme if this is true please help me out bro

It's not. Stop repeating the lie.

And stop being such a fucking ZOG cuck. There needs to be fewer and fewer people joining the police, military, and intelligence services that serve the corrupt nations which are controlled by private interests. Willing to sell out to these government apparatuses and further oppress your own people is something worthy of a public lynching and hanging.

Even disregarding all of that, the FBI itself as a bureaucracy has a history mired in corruption and malevolence, working against the interests of the very people they're supposed to serve and protect. If you're thinking about joining something like the FBI (or other three letter agencies which are worse), I'd rather you fucking neck yourself, you fucking betraying cunt.

 

[El Diablo]

It's not. Stop repeating the lie.

And stop being such a fucking ZOG cuck. There needs to be fewer and fewer people joining the police, military, and intelligence services that serve the corrupt nations which are controlled by private interests. Willing to sell out to these government apparatuses and further oppress your own people is something worthy of a public lynching and hanging.

Even disregarding all of that, the FBI itself as a bureaucracy has a history mired in corruption and malevolence, working against the interests of the very people they're supposed to serve and protect. If you're thinking about joining something like the FBI (or other three letter agencies which are worse), I'd rather you fucking neck yourself, you fucking betraying cunt.

My sincere apologies. I don't want a job relating to actual glowie infiltration and espionage, just something like regular IT department computer stuff. Like let's say I worked as a janitor for Hitler in Auschwitz. I am not literally out there killing jews.

 

[IncelusRex]

Like let's say I worked as a jannie for Hitler in Auschwitz. I am not literally out there killing jews.

 

[based_meme]

My sincere apologies.

 

[coom_enthusiast]

Legendary thread. I have not laughed this hard in ages

 

[coom_enthusiast]

And stop being such a fucking ZOG cuck. There needs to be fewer and fewer people joining the police, military, and intelligence services that serve the corrupt nations which are controlled by private interests. Willing to sell out to these government apparatuses and further oppress your own people is something worthy of a public lynching and hanging.

I am 99% sure this thread is meant to be a joke. Who in their right mind job searches on an INCEL forum?

-Good at working with huge amounts of data while staying organized. I maintain a huge organized library of hentai.

-Highly motivated and disciplined individual. My nofap record is about 60 days.

If that doesn't give it away, I don't know what does.

"Hi FBI! I have a huge collection of hentai and I am a master at not jerking off for long periods of time. Give me job pls!"

 

[based_meme]

I am 99% sure this thread is meant to be a joke. Who in their right mind job searches on an INCEL forum?

There are too many legit retards here that this could be a serious question. There's a guy who honestly thinks you can be a professional slots player. I mean, JFL.

Of course, having too many idiots here also means it's ripe for trolls to be mischievous. KEK

 

[OutcompetedByRoomba]

My nofap record is about 60 days.

mogs me by orders of magnitude


I'm not sure what the day-to-day of a fed actually looks like, but at least in theory it sounds more interesting than most jobs. Maybe I should try getting into contact with some exterimist organisations so I have something to offer that puts me ahead of all the other applicants

 

[Exhunter45]

There are a few steps you can take to become an FBI agent:

1. Meet the minimum eligibility requirements: To apply, you must be at least 23 years old, have a bachelor's degree, and have a clean criminal record. You must also pass a physical fitness test, a drug test, and a polygraph exam.

2. Complete the FBI application: You can find the FBI application online. It requires a lot of personal information, so be prepared to provide references, previous employment history, and educational details.

3. Pass an interview: You'll likely have to undergo an extensive interview process with the FBI. This may include in-person interviews with multiple agency officials, written tests, and a thorough background check.

4. Attend the FBI Academy: If you're accepted, you'll travel to the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia for training. The FBI Academy is a 22-week program that provides training in investigation, law, language, firearms, and physical fitness.

5. Complete a field internship: After you graduate from the FBI Academy, you'll be assigned to a field office for a 10-week internship. This will provide you with hands-on experience in the field.

6. Become a special agent: After your internship, you'll be a special agent and will be assigned to a specific division within the FBI. You'll work under the guidance of a senior special agent and will undergo further training and professional development.

The ultimate neet ban