Warning, just another self pity thread ahead, but I have to vent and writing this somehow helps me.
The last few months and especially weeks were really hard for me.
I'm stuck in a dead end, in every way you can think of.
My situation is hopeless.
Being a NEET (and hiki) really fucks with my mind. It was comfy for the first few months but now it's just destroying me. All I do is sitting in front of my PC and laying in bed, I don't leave my house for weeks or months (I get food and stuff from my parents or just live with the starvation). I became so anxious that even going outside is now a major task. Wageslaving and NEETing, both drive me into suicide, but at this point I don't feel like I could return back to wageslaving.
I can't even study something, because our education system fucking sucks.
My social circle consists out of my parents. They are the only people in my life, no one else.
I don't want to talk with them about my problems, because they already have major financial and health problems. I don't want to burden them even more, I feel like that could ruin them completely.
Sometimes I just speak like 10 words a day, my social skills obviously suffer brutally from that, which drives me even more into inceldom.
I feel so lonely, but also socially anxious at the same time. It's fucking hell.
Losing weight is also a big problem, I'm not underweight yet, but by a rate of losing 1kg per week (unintentionally) it's just a matter of time.
My eyesight is getting worse and worse and the norwood reaper is unstoppable.
My obsession with personal hygiene lead to the fact that I'm now forced to take two showers everyday, otherwise it feels like insects are walking on my skin.
And oh god, I developed some kind of insomnia (I never knew that it's actually that bad before I experienced it myself). It takes up to three hours of laying in my bed in total dark- and quietness until I fall asleep. Waking up in the middle of the night is not rare.
I feel like there is now way out of this. It's all absolutely hopeless.
This is a dead end.
The last few months and especially weeks were really hard for me.
I'm stuck in a dead end, in every way you can think of.
My situation is hopeless.
Being a NEET (and hiki) really fucks with my mind. It was comfy for the first few months but now it's just destroying me. All I do is sitting in front of my PC and laying in bed, I don't leave my house for weeks or months (I get food and stuff from my parents or just live with the starvation). I became so anxious that even going outside is now a major task. Wageslaving and NEETing, both drive me into suicide, but at this point I don't feel like I could return back to wageslaving.
I can't even study something, because our education system fucking sucks.
My social circle consists out of my parents. They are the only people in my life, no one else.
I don't want to talk with them about my problems, because they already have major financial and health problems. I don't want to burden them even more, I feel like that could ruin them completely.
Sometimes I just speak like 10 words a day, my social skills obviously suffer brutally from that, which drives me even more into inceldom.
I feel so lonely, but also socially anxious at the same time. It's fucking hell.
Losing weight is also a big problem, I'm not underweight yet, but by a rate of losing 1kg per week (unintentionally) it's just a matter of time.
My eyesight is getting worse and worse and the norwood reaper is unstoppable.
My obsession with personal hygiene lead to the fact that I'm now forced to take two showers everyday, otherwise it feels like insects are walking on my skin.
And oh god, I developed some kind of insomnia (I never knew that it's actually that bad before I experienced it myself). It takes up to three hours of laying in my bed in total dark- and quietness until I fall asleep. Waking up in the middle of the night is not rare.
I feel like there is now way out of this. It's all absolutely hopeless.
This is a dead end.
).
