previous thread where I pin the blame of my inceldom on my father (of course, apart from my looks and genes) and the kind of life I was bestowed upon by him
incels.is
oldcels here perhaps know my story a bit,
that I lost my mother in my childhood, the only person I was close to, who cared for me...and how my father used to mistreat her a lot, and it sawn a seed of hatred for my father in me
but man, was i...wrong?
last night, father got super drunk and made scenes at home, calling my mother names like 'randi' = whore, enraging me, we fought...in his age he's now physically weaker than me, so i was able to tame him quickly and pushed him to his bedroom and yelled at him to not come out unless he'd sobered up...
after some hours he finally came out, seemingly sober enough, he sat beside me
and he revealed to me, the darkest hidden - forgotten truth about my life with this exact words "beta, tu randi ka bachcha hai" = "Son, You're sunnowa bitch" - not in mocking tone or anything, but in damn serious tone
he then told lots of things to me, completely deconstructing my life in front of my eyes as he revealed my late mother's past to me; from things he told me, this is the gist
- mother had an elder sister (some aunty of mine), when she was in high school she went to this sister - my aunty's home to help her when this aunty became pregnant and was expecting to deliver
- there, mother met my uncle, her brother-in-law...IT WAS THIS UNCLE OF MINE THAT TOOK MY MOTHER'S VIRGINITY BY CHARMING HER WITH SWEET TALKS AND ALL WHEN SHE WAS BARELY 15
- mother returned her home, stayed like that for years, or had side flicks in school - college later on, no one knows or can say with certainty; but yeah she hid her affair with this uncle and all from everyone in family
- mother married my father, bore his three children, i'm the youngest one, and after my birth, when i was barely six months old, she cheated on my father with some neighbour because apparently as per her my father's mistreatment and their disturbed domestic life made her feel "loveless" and she yearned for it elsewhere
- their affairs lasted for six some months, father eventually caught them, he beat the shit out of that neighbour guy, and was about to kill my mother too, but family stopped him
- it was this moment when my mother finally revealed to him that prior to this affairs she lost her virginity to this uncle of mine, further enraging him and worsening things for us
- my mother was sent back to her family, she stayed there for good two years, eventually my father and she made compromise over us kids and she came back his home as my mother again, but apparently they were never able to reconcile and my father ever (rightfully) resented her and all his reactions were deeply rooted in her betrayal
- mother eventually died when i turned 17-18 some in her sleep; my father's assholery ever continued
i was so shocked, flabbergasted and traumatised...i kept starring at him, he eventually sensed something and responded, "Wondering about what was your fault in all this? to be frank, you're just a victim of that whore mother of yours, your fault is that you were born to her and faced her karma; as for question of why telling it all now after years - just wanted to come clear about things before dying."
he later fall asleep, while i was having flashbacks of my life and mentally relating how every wrong thing that happened in my family, related to my mother's adultery, either directly or indirectly - couldn't sleep last night, kept smoking while at it all...
but some part in me was still denying it all, nah, must be a drunkard's rambling, so i dialed my big bro and asked him, he became so enraged that he threatened to break my legs if i ever brought this matter to him again and cut the call, i then dialed my sister who feigned ignorance (or rather indifference) and advised me to move on
eventually i reached my father's sister, that aunty was around when it all happened, and she too wanted me to "forget and forgive" but i insisted her to tell me the goddamn truth, and she conceded everything my father said was truth, even shared some of her insights
- mother used to write..."love letters" to this neighbour guy, and in one of her letters she wished to run away with him, abandoning her family behind
- family mostly decided to bury this matter because they feared shaming from society, they even sold that home where I was born and she committed all her adultery and moved far away from there, and decision to take her back was direly opposed by my father, who eventually caved in when someone in family suggested she'd be at least a good caretaker to her children till they grow up, after that "it didn't matter if she lived or died"
*******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
so that's it, fellow incelbros...
i'm done for.
I am incel because of my father
imagine your own father turning situations in such a way that long term effect turned into your inceldom so here is my story, i live in a very old fashioned suburban area which is famous for its fisheries industries in eastern side of India, born into a very lower middle class (borderline poor)...
incels.is
oldcels here perhaps know my story a bit,
that I lost my mother in my childhood, the only person I was close to, who cared for me...and how my father used to mistreat her a lot, and it sawn a seed of hatred for my father in me
my mother was mostly a nice caring one for us siblings but father treated her like slave and after raising us up old enough she died in her sleep peacefully, i don't exactly have much memories about her from my childhood because i forgot many things about her
but man, was i...wrong?
last night, father got super drunk and made scenes at home, calling my mother names like 'randi' = whore, enraging me, we fought...in his age he's now physically weaker than me, so i was able to tame him quickly and pushed him to his bedroom and yelled at him to not come out unless he'd sobered up...
after some hours he finally came out, seemingly sober enough, he sat beside me
and he revealed to me, the darkest hidden - forgotten truth about my life with this exact words "beta, tu randi ka bachcha hai" = "Son, You're sunnowa bitch" - not in mocking tone or anything, but in damn serious tone
he then told lots of things to me, completely deconstructing my life in front of my eyes as he revealed my late mother's past to me; from things he told me, this is the gist
- mother had an elder sister (some aunty of mine), when she was in high school she went to this sister - my aunty's home to help her when this aunty became pregnant and was expecting to deliver
- there, mother met my uncle, her brother-in-law...IT WAS THIS UNCLE OF MINE THAT TOOK MY MOTHER'S VIRGINITY BY CHARMING HER WITH SWEET TALKS AND ALL WHEN SHE WAS BARELY 15
- mother returned her home, stayed like that for years, or had side flicks in school - college later on, no one knows or can say with certainty; but yeah she hid her affair with this uncle and all from everyone in family
- mother married my father, bore his three children, i'm the youngest one, and after my birth, when i was barely six months old, she cheated on my father with some neighbour because apparently as per her my father's mistreatment and their disturbed domestic life made her feel "loveless" and she yearned for it elsewhere
- their affairs lasted for six some months, father eventually caught them, he beat the shit out of that neighbour guy, and was about to kill my mother too, but family stopped him
- it was this moment when my mother finally revealed to him that prior to this affairs she lost her virginity to this uncle of mine, further enraging him and worsening things for us
- my mother was sent back to her family, she stayed there for good two years, eventually my father and she made compromise over us kids and she came back his home as my mother again, but apparently they were never able to reconcile and my father ever (rightfully) resented her and all his reactions were deeply rooted in her betrayal
- mother eventually died when i turned 17-18 some in her sleep; my father's assholery ever continued
i was so shocked, flabbergasted and traumatised...i kept starring at him, he eventually sensed something and responded, "Wondering about what was your fault in all this? to be frank, you're just a victim of that whore mother of yours, your fault is that you were born to her and faced her karma; as for question of why telling it all now after years - just wanted to come clear about things before dying."
he later fall asleep, while i was having flashbacks of my life and mentally relating how every wrong thing that happened in my family, related to my mother's adultery, either directly or indirectly - couldn't sleep last night, kept smoking while at it all...
but some part in me was still denying it all, nah, must be a drunkard's rambling, so i dialed my big bro and asked him, he became so enraged that he threatened to break my legs if i ever brought this matter to him again and cut the call, i then dialed my sister who feigned ignorance (or rather indifference) and advised me to move on
eventually i reached my father's sister, that aunty was around when it all happened, and she too wanted me to "forget and forgive" but i insisted her to tell me the goddamn truth, and she conceded everything my father said was truth, even shared some of her insights
- mother used to write..."love letters" to this neighbour guy, and in one of her letters she wished to run away with him, abandoning her family behind
- family mostly decided to bury this matter because they feared shaming from society, they even sold that home where I was born and she committed all her adultery and moved far away from there, and decision to take her back was direly opposed by my father, who eventually caved in when someone in family suggested she'd be at least a good caretaker to her children till they grow up, after that "it didn't matter if she lived or died"
*******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
so that's it, fellow incelbros...
i'm done for.
