Lv99_BixNood
fascel
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View: https://old.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/1eutu8j/cmv_your_race_matters_in_dating_when_in_western/
(This is mostly for people living in western countries, though it could certainly apply in other places as well.)
I’ve heard countless times that race shouldn’t matter in dating. And I agree with that, it shouldn’t matter. But we live in a very racialized world where race permeates a lot of different things, especially dating. So while it shouldn’t matter, it absolutely does.
If you’re a white man, congrats. Everyone wants to either be with you or be you. This means your dating life is going to be easier compared to men of other races. In fact, you have the easiest time compared to men of other races. PoC gravitate towards you as it's seen as an "increase" in status.
If you’re a white woman, congrats (though to a lesser degree compared to white men). Everyone wants to either be with you or be you. This means your dating life is going to be easier compared to women of other races. In fact, you have the easiest time compared to women of other races. PoC gravitate towards you as it's seen as an "increase" in status
If you’re a black man, because your masculinity has been exaggerated, you’re incredibly fetishized (stronger, more virile, bigger dicks, etc). While this makes certain aspects of the dating game slightly easier for you, you have to constantly be on the look out for red flags in your dating partner (think Get Out). This also leads to a noticeable disparity in your dating habits compared to black women.
If you’re a black woman, your femininity has been shredded to pieces. This means that your dating life is going to be harder compared to women of other races. You face stereotypes that directly affect your perceived desirability (less attractive, too manly, "angry" etc). However, with that said, despite the stereotypes that black women face, they are still fetishized and hypersexualized - which can have very harmful consequences.
For both black men and women, these fetishes are often used as a way to justify harm towards black people - so there's added pressure to make sure you choose wisely when you're dating someone outside your race
If you’re an Asian man, your masculinity has been shredded to pieces - this means that your dating life is going to be harder compared to men of other races. You face stereotypes that directly affect your perceived desirability (small dicks, feminine, ugly, etc). If dating was a game, asian men are playing are playing on a harder mode.
If you’re an Asian woman, because your femininity has been exaggerated, you’re incredibly fetishized (feminine, submissive, sexually promiscuous, etc). While this makes certain aspects of the dating game slightly easier for you, you have to be constantly on the look out for red flags. This also leads to a noticeable disparity in your dating habits compared to asian men.
The difference in dating expriences between Asian men and women is so vastly different (even more so than black men and women). US born asian women, for example, marry non-asian men at a rate of 54% - to mostly white men.
ALL THIS MEANS is that your view of the dating world needs to be aligned with your race.
If you're dating someone in your own race, then good for you! You'll have a shared base of understanding for each other.
If you're a white person dating someone PoC - understand that they probably grew up with a bunch of really negative and harmful stereotypes. So white men, if that PoC girl seems like she's trying to figure out if you've got some kind of problematic fetish - yeah, she is. Be forgiving in that situation. And white women - understand that there are stereotypes that really negatively impact PoC men. Be understanding when theyr'e doing their best to put those stereotypes to bed.
If you're PoC dating another PoC, then you at least have a shared basis of understanding in that you're non-white person in a white country. Not saying that that's easier, just different. You're also probably sick of people automatically assuming that interracial = dating someone white.
And just a quick disclaimer: I am NOT against interracial dating at all - I'm merely stating my view that Race ABSOLUTELY matters in dating. I just hate it when people say otherwise.
Curries not even mentioned, over