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a preface to this post for people who don't know me:
I am in my thirties. I haven't had sex or dated in well over a decade and some of you will call me fakecel because I'm not a virgin. I am schizophrenic and hardly never leave my room and am NEET and get NEETBUX. I have been LDARing hermit for years. I have been inside so long I have some resembling agoraphobia and am scared to leave the house during the daytime. I shop once a week at night and that is the only time I leave the house. I am a drug addict and a borderline alcoholic. With all that out of the way....
Tonight was the night I was finally going to rope. My version of roping involves a handgun to the side of my head. I went and got a six pack from the store and take a couple Xanax to start preparing for the day and what I was going to do. While I was getting drunk I got a text out of nowhere from a number I didn't recognize. No one ever texts or calls me so I asked who it was and it turned out it was a girl that I used to date in 2005. I was best friends at one point with her brother and he overdosed on heroin and that was why she was contacting me.
She asked what was going on with my life and I humored the conversation for a awhile because I was drunk at that point and mixing alcohol and benzos make me socialable. I lied to her and said I was normal and had a job. I'm not on social media and we live in different states so lying was easy.
She asked if I was dating anyone or married. I said no but that I sometimes go to the bar and try to meet people. Of course this is another lie I never go to the bar. Never. I drink at home by myself. We are now at the point of the story where she made some commentary that I thought that some fellows incels will find interesting. I ended up drinking until I passed out and recently woke up and took some pills and smoked some weed and feel halfway normal again. I didn't want to rope until I shared this and I was far to drunk to make a coherent post at the time so here I am now.
girl: throwzo are you dating?
me: no I go to the bar sometimes trying to meet someone no luck yet
girl: I'm sure you will find someone you are tall and not fat that's all you need
Sometime over the night I decided not to put a bullet in my head tonight. One day but not today. I've mentioned it in another post but long term LDAR really fucks with your brain. No social contact for years on end like the situation I am in would drive a normie crazy and I was crazy even when I had a normal peer group back in school.
I am in my thirties. I haven't had sex or dated in well over a decade and some of you will call me fakecel because I'm not a virgin. I am schizophrenic and hardly never leave my room and am NEET and get NEETBUX. I have been LDARing hermit for years. I have been inside so long I have some resembling agoraphobia and am scared to leave the house during the daytime. I shop once a week at night and that is the only time I leave the house. I am a drug addict and a borderline alcoholic. With all that out of the way....
Tonight was the night I was finally going to rope. My version of roping involves a handgun to the side of my head. I went and got a six pack from the store and take a couple Xanax to start preparing for the day and what I was going to do. While I was getting drunk I got a text out of nowhere from a number I didn't recognize. No one ever texts or calls me so I asked who it was and it turned out it was a girl that I used to date in 2005. I was best friends at one point with her brother and he overdosed on heroin and that was why she was contacting me.
She asked what was going on with my life and I humored the conversation for a awhile because I was drunk at that point and mixing alcohol and benzos make me socialable. I lied to her and said I was normal and had a job. I'm not on social media and we live in different states so lying was easy.
She asked if I was dating anyone or married. I said no but that I sometimes go to the bar and try to meet people. Of course this is another lie I never go to the bar. Never. I drink at home by myself. We are now at the point of the story where she made some commentary that I thought that some fellows incels will find interesting. I ended up drinking until I passed out and recently woke up and took some pills and smoked some weed and feel halfway normal again. I didn't want to rope until I shared this and I was far to drunk to make a coherent post at the time so here I am now.
girl: throwzo are you dating?
me: no I go to the bar sometimes trying to meet someone no luck yet
girl: I'm sure you will find someone you are tall and not fat that's all you need
Sometime over the night I decided not to put a bullet in my head tonight. One day but not today. I've mentioned it in another post but long term LDAR really fucks with your brain. No social contact for years on end like the situation I am in would drive a normie crazy and I was crazy even when I had a normal peer group back in school.
