"I hate God and the Universe for giving me a shitty life and then ending it at 46
I'm so angry. Today it was confirmed what I already knew. Stage IV pancreatic cancer, losing weight fast and will probably be dead in weeks or a few months. I'm 46 years old.
I had a shitty life growing up. A drug addict/alcoholic mother, a father who split and got a new family and didn't give a shit about his one and only biological son when he needed him most.
No chance to go to college, working shitty jobs my whole life. Never been married or had a child. Just a 25 year long string of shitty relationships with abusive and BPD women. I've never known the touch of a beautiful woman. Just whatever fat, nasty and angry girl would have me. Always a loner, no real true friends that didn't try to screw me over somehow.
Now I find out I'll probably be dead by summer. Wtf?
My dad tries to talk shit about "God's plan". Well if his plan was to have me lead the shittiest life possible and then kill me early he sure succeeded at it.
Fk God. Fk my family and fuck the random universe for cursing me my wholei mserable life."
brOoOOOOTAL
I'm so angry. Today it was confirmed what I already knew. Stage IV pancreatic cancer, losing weight fast and will probably be dead in weeks or a few months. I'm 46 years old.
I had a shitty life growing up. A drug addict/alcoholic mother, a father who split and got a new family and didn't give a shit about his one and only biological son when he needed him most.
No chance to go to college, working shitty jobs my whole life. Never been married or had a child. Just a 25 year long string of shitty relationships with abusive and BPD women. I've never known the touch of a beautiful woman. Just whatever fat, nasty and angry girl would have me. Always a loner, no real true friends that didn't try to screw me over somehow.
Now I find out I'll probably be dead by summer. Wtf?
My dad tries to talk shit about "God's plan". Well if his plan was to have me lead the shittiest life possible and then kill me early he sure succeeded at it.
Fk God. Fk my family and fuck the random universe for cursing me my wholei mserable life."
brOoOOOOTAL
I wish I had cancer 
sameI wish I had cancer
Also more proof that life sucks, and IT are a bunch of mumbling retards.
Fuck god
Fuck god
It's good thing when life ends, but cancer kills people in the most brutal way
IntEResting if he went ER would he be sentenced more strictly?
Fucking brutal but damn, this resonated within me a lot cause i remember that, even today, i contemplated having the same faith : experiencing some shitty life and then just dying, probably sooner than i think. I already feel like i'm slowly dying. I think a lot about mortality now that i'm 30 without anything changing for the better. Losers like us are also probably bound to die early too, it's as if our bodies were screaming to die due to the pain and exhaustion.
At least his suffering will end soon
You wouldnt said that if you had it. If you want to die, suicide is always an option, it is quicker and all the options of suicide are better than dying from cancerI wish I had cancer
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