Celius
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- Joined
- Jun 14, 2023
- Posts
- 3,775
Despite not even being fat with my 19.4 BMI (58kilos at 173cm), I go to extreme lengths just to avoid a single glance at my body. I wear oversized clothes with extremely long sleeves when it’s like fucking 200 degrees out there just so I don’t have to “feel” fat when I’m in front of a mirror.
I do exercise and have been trying to have healthier eating habits which is always good but since I’m still skinny-fat, I fucking despise myself.
What’s horrific about it is that before my adolescence, I was slightly chubby but then after losing a shit ton of weight during puberty, I had what I’d consider as “friends” with people clearly treating me marvelously better for the first time in my life. I mean, the difference was just like night and day.
But still, the image of being fat is permanently stuck in my head now and just the thought of actually becoming fat scares the shit out of me especially since I’ve heard horror stories of how those who’ve naturally lost weight when they were young ended up gaining it all back by the time they’re in their 30s and 40s.
Once a fat kid, always a fat kid.
I do exercise and have been trying to have healthier eating habits which is always good but since I’m still skinny-fat, I fucking despise myself.
What’s horrific about it is that before my adolescence, I was slightly chubby but then after losing a shit ton of weight during puberty, I had what I’d consider as “friends” with people clearly treating me marvelously better for the first time in my life. I mean, the difference was just like night and day.
But still, the image of being fat is permanently stuck in my head now and just the thought of actually becoming fat scares the shit out of me especially since I’ve heard horror stories of how those who’ve naturally lost weight when they were young ended up gaining it all back by the time they’re in their 30s and 40s.
Once a fat kid, always a fat kid.