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Summary: she thinks a guy she met on tinder is cute and then sets boundaries with him that he blatantly ignores, she lets him ignore them and convinces herself it's ok, sets new boundaries, doesn't enforce them, and the cycle repeats.
- They go for a date, she says she wants things to go very slowly. He touches her leg, kisses her, etc. (she doesn't like it apparently, doesn't return the affection and says it's a red flag)
- They end up at his place (seemingly by pure chance)
- He wants to go skinny dipping, she says no, he convinces her (how?).
- Rape essentially (no condom). If this were how the story ended, I'd be much more sympathetic to her.
- They continue inside for more sex, cuddling, and a bj (she was unenthusiastic tho)
- Now she's wondering how to end things because "I have been trying to convince myself the past few days that I like him and can look past this, but I can't."
It's wild how she lets him get away with anything and just does not care at all about how aggressive and rapey he is. Her feelings and actions have no relationship to each other.
Here's the full story:
View: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/xbyp26/want_to_share_my_weird_experience_with_a_guy_and/
I'm just going to cut right to it. Met a guy on tinder. Thought he was cute. I was very upfront that I wanted to move very slowly with him and if that wasn't his cup of tea, then no hard feelings. He agreed. Great.
We meet up for our first date and things go well. I actually really liked him and we got along great. He's everything I'm looking for. Except one thing. He was... sexually aggressive. It started fine at first, but then he wanted to touch my leg and even made a joke about moving too fast. Then he kept holding my hand all night. Then maybe an hour into the date, he kept kissing me. Like, make out kissing which I hate doing in public. I kept ending the kiss early and gave him a vague smile or something along those lines. I really didn't mind that much at the time and it didn't bother me, but looking back it might've been a red flag.
Cut to, we end up back at his place because I like him. I just intended to maybe make out a bit because it's been a while since I've been sexual. I know I might've lead him on a little bit just by going back, but I thought since I was clear about moving slow, he wouldn't try anything too crazy. Maybe an attempt to finger me but I thought I could handle that and tell him to stop. We end up sneaking into his pool. He wanted to skinny dip but I insisted on wearing underwear for the both of us. He even harder insisted he have no bottoms. Eventually I caved but I absolutely kept my underwear on. I thought maybe we'd swim and be a little flirty and maybe kiss. I didn't even have a chance to take a breath, dude had his tongue down my throat. At this point I was like, all right not the worst thing. I guess we're just cutting to. He pushed me up against the side of the pool. Before I even know what's happening, he's inside of me thrusting. No condom. And I am in shock. I did not even know he was in me for a few pumps and by then, I had frozen. My back is all cut up from scraping the concrete from this by the way.
Time passes and we end up getting out the pool. I kind of made a line indicating I should leave or in the very least let's slow down. He says, "no, he's fucking me on the lounge chair." I can tell he thinks he's being dominant in a hot way, but he's not. I am just taken aback at how agressive he is. I sort of let it happen, I guess. And then finally he says he wants to go inside. My shit is inside so I don't have a choice. I make a few more comments about slowing down. He's kissing me and just starts having sex with me again once we're inside. No condom. I know we'd already had sex with no condom by this point so STD's are out the window, but I figure maybe I can get him to wear one to lower my chances of pregnancy. So I ask and he very clearly brushes me off. At this point, I feel like I'm visibly not into it. I have no enthusiasm and literally am going through the motions. He even pushes my head down to finish him and I push back to indicate, you know, no I don't want to do that. He pushes more then finally verbally asks me to finish him. I give him the least energetic blow job for maybe 5 seconds before stopping. He then asks me to help him cum with his hand and I'm just like, so glad at this point that he's gonna cum so I vaguely touch him while he basically jerks himself off.
We're cuddling after and what's going through my head is that that sucked but I like him, right? It's okay. I'll just be more forward from here on out and not cave. Then he starts having sex with me again after a while and this time, even he noticed I wasn't into it because he finally stopped and apologized.
Now he's texting me and I can tell he wants a relationship. I have been trying to convince myself the past few days that I like him and can look past this, but I can't. I just don't know how to break it to him. I am kind of a push over with this kind of stuff and am afraid he'll blow up at me or turn into a psycho stalker because he really likes me I can tell. So I dunno. I don't know how to feel about what happened and how to move forward.
- They go for a date, she says she wants things to go very slowly. He touches her leg, kisses her, etc. (she doesn't like it apparently, doesn't return the affection and says it's a red flag)
- They end up at his place (seemingly by pure chance)
- He wants to go skinny dipping, she says no, he convinces her (how?).
- Rape essentially (no condom). If this were how the story ended, I'd be much more sympathetic to her.
- They continue inside for more sex, cuddling, and a bj (she was unenthusiastic tho)
- Now she's wondering how to end things because "I have been trying to convince myself the past few days that I like him and can look past this, but I can't."
It's wild how she lets him get away with anything and just does not care at all about how aggressive and rapey he is. Her feelings and actions have no relationship to each other.
Here's the full story:
View: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/xbyp26/want_to_share_my_weird_experience_with_a_guy_and/
I'm just going to cut right to it. Met a guy on tinder. Thought he was cute. I was very upfront that I wanted to move very slowly with him and if that wasn't his cup of tea, then no hard feelings. He agreed. Great.
We meet up for our first date and things go well. I actually really liked him and we got along great. He's everything I'm looking for. Except one thing. He was... sexually aggressive. It started fine at first, but then he wanted to touch my leg and even made a joke about moving too fast. Then he kept holding my hand all night. Then maybe an hour into the date, he kept kissing me. Like, make out kissing which I hate doing in public. I kept ending the kiss early and gave him a vague smile or something along those lines. I really didn't mind that much at the time and it didn't bother me, but looking back it might've been a red flag.
Cut to, we end up back at his place because I like him. I just intended to maybe make out a bit because it's been a while since I've been sexual. I know I might've lead him on a little bit just by going back, but I thought since I was clear about moving slow, he wouldn't try anything too crazy. Maybe an attempt to finger me but I thought I could handle that and tell him to stop. We end up sneaking into his pool. He wanted to skinny dip but I insisted on wearing underwear for the both of us. He even harder insisted he have no bottoms. Eventually I caved but I absolutely kept my underwear on. I thought maybe we'd swim and be a little flirty and maybe kiss. I didn't even have a chance to take a breath, dude had his tongue down my throat. At this point I was like, all right not the worst thing. I guess we're just cutting to. He pushed me up against the side of the pool. Before I even know what's happening, he's inside of me thrusting. No condom. And I am in shock. I did not even know he was in me for a few pumps and by then, I had frozen. My back is all cut up from scraping the concrete from this by the way.
Time passes and we end up getting out the pool. I kind of made a line indicating I should leave or in the very least let's slow down. He says, "no, he's fucking me on the lounge chair." I can tell he thinks he's being dominant in a hot way, but he's not. I am just taken aback at how agressive he is. I sort of let it happen, I guess. And then finally he says he wants to go inside. My shit is inside so I don't have a choice. I make a few more comments about slowing down. He's kissing me and just starts having sex with me again once we're inside. No condom. I know we'd already had sex with no condom by this point so STD's are out the window, but I figure maybe I can get him to wear one to lower my chances of pregnancy. So I ask and he very clearly brushes me off. At this point, I feel like I'm visibly not into it. I have no enthusiasm and literally am going through the motions. He even pushes my head down to finish him and I push back to indicate, you know, no I don't want to do that. He pushes more then finally verbally asks me to finish him. I give him the least energetic blow job for maybe 5 seconds before stopping. He then asks me to help him cum with his hand and I'm just like, so glad at this point that he's gonna cum so I vaguely touch him while he basically jerks himself off.
We're cuddling after and what's going through my head is that that sucked but I like him, right? It's okay. I'll just be more forward from here on out and not cave. Then he starts having sex with me again after a while and this time, even he noticed I wasn't into it because he finally stopped and apologized.
Now he's texting me and I can tell he wants a relationship. I have been trying to convince myself the past few days that I like him and can look past this, but I can't. I just don't know how to break it to him. I am kind of a push over with this kind of stuff and am afraid he'll blow up at me or turn into a psycho stalker because he really likes me I can tell. So I dunno. I don't know how to feel about what happened and how to move forward.
