LifeFuel Beautiful Spring is here the vibrant couples are out soaking up the sun

[BlueEnix]

That's what I observe out my window as I LDAR

 

[KyloRen]

 

[BlueEnix]

thank you for the attention KyloRen you seem like a really cool guy in general.

I saw a young couple eating ice cream, they looked beautiful and tan from not being freaks with no future, gave me something to ponder, like elliot's manifesto where he started seeing couples everywhere he went like the matrix was closing in on him

 

[KyloRen]

thank you for the attention KyloRen you seem like a really cool guy in general.

I try my best.

I saw a young couple eating ice cream, they looked beautiful and tan from not being freaks with no future, gave me something to ponder, like elliot's manifesto where he started seeing couples everywhere he went like the matrix was closing in on him

Seeing couples ordering food in general pisses me off. It's small things like that, right? Things that every one takes for granted when one is in a couple. I want to experience just a minutia of that.

And yes, I have read ER's manifesto as well.

 

[Kointo1]

Spring and Summer are terrible. It's a pain to install an air conditioner in my window, and even then I end up dying from the heat.

 

[BlueEnix]

I

Spring and Summer are terrible. It's a pain to install an air conditioner in my window, and even then I end up dying from the heat.

your mind is cooked from inceldom and LDAR life and you body is cooked from the heat, if you were a chad it wouldn't bother you because you're a stud who can take so much more suffering than an incel because you know you have a destiny, a future and superior genes.

Without having a future you have nothing, without waking up knowing you could go out with a stacie if you wanted really what kind of second rate existence are you living? Second rate at best then just add all your other problems and short coming onto that and you can see why one might get depressed.

I'm thinking about sui a lot now, I'm getting older and I swing from accepting death and being a pussy with no balls to die, I'm mentally ill and have fapped to gay porn which I normally wouldn't and now my mind is oppressing me for it and it's feeding my paranoia. I think i'm bisexual but it's irrelevant I'm just a subhuman who's mind is shattering under the weight of reality.

you shouldn't like me and I shouldn't like myself I can't accept everything about myself, part of me does not marry the other part and I am schitzo or something.

Inside and out I am ugly and twisted and fallen

 

[Deleted member 2119]

 

[BlueEnix]

my mind for the longest time has felt like a torture device attached to me, but right now I feel pretty good, it when you can let everything go you get some purchase on enacting your sui. I know I'll try to fight it though I always do but I don't get far, being in limbo is more likely to happen than progress.

 

[BlueEnix]

Life, like a dome of many-colored glass,
Stains the white radiance of Eternity,
Until Death tramples it to fragments

I feel like this, you can mentally masturbate all day about life but it's just being stripped away from you one moment at a time, I'm not dating a girl, I'm not making good money or on an adventure, I'm a non person basically, a mistake. Any time I try to work myself out of the rut of my mindstate I come back to the same conclusions and disappointing futility. Truly sui is my answer then I can just stop thinking all together. It was over a long time ago, that's the truth, I'm just like a ghost living a shell life trying to avoid people and humiliation to no avail.

 

[BlueEnix]

I might make some trips somewhere outdoors but I'm still living this half life, you can go outside and try to feel better but you will always wake up as yourself at the end of each day. I bought beer yesterday and wanted to put a bag over my head going to the store you can't run away from what you are, you better have grabbed life by the horns and not let go or you'll end up a manchild virgin degrading more and more every day riddled with negative emotions. I just exist in a fog now, I'm no longer the person i was. Life is like a prison I can't escape, that's what planning your sui feels like, like planning your escape from life.

 

[BlueEnix]

I need glasses but can't afford them because I'm a waste of life in a hyper competitive world, I wonder if I'll have my eye open or closed at the end, thinking about death is so surreal. I feel like a walking corpse already, ldar life and some...spiritual defeat has destroyed my soul, after a certain point I knew it was over and I was destined to die as a failure.

Now I'm listening to gangster rap thinking about the transience of life.

 

[_incelinside]

Thank you for bringing this to our attention

 

[KyloRen]

I need glasses but can't afford them because I'm a waste of life in a hyper competitive world, I wonder if I'll have my eye open or closed at the end, thinking about death is so surreal. I feel like a walking corpse already, ldar life and some...spiritual defeat has destroyed my soul, after a certain point I knew it was over and I was destined to die as a failure.

Now I'm listening to gangster rap thinking about the transience of life.

Crushed soul.... We can relate, brother.

 

[BlueEnix]

Thank you for bringing this to our attention

they're all having sex and will get married unless something goes horribly wrong in their life it's guaranteed, they're like another species from me. I never stood a chance I only fooled myself I did. I hate myself so fuckign much AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I might try to get mental health services but everyone says it's a meme and they just either feed you copes or pills

I was going to try and get a shit job by my brother calls people who work shit jobs losers and it just killed my motivation but he's a vicious normie compared to me, I saw pics of him fuckign stacie and it made me want to sui. I hate life

My family, life and everything is fucked at best I'm just dragging myself through life...but still my survival instincts and manchild mind still wants to keep going, it's all cope. I live in a world of infinite complexity but your life boils down to your shit genes. If you had good genes you would make it out of any situation, I really am just garbage.

 

[BlueEnix]

I don't think I could even hold a job anymore, I can't even remember basic shit anymore let alone fight the intrusive thoughts, i'm just DONE

IT'S OVER!!!

 

[KyloRen]

I don't think I could even hold a job anymore, I can't even remember basic shit anymore, i'm just DONE

IT'S OVER!!!

 

[_incelinside]

they're all having sex and will get married unless something goes horribly wrong in their life it's guaranteed, they're like another species from me. I never stood a chance I only fooled myself I did. I hate myself so fuckign much AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I might try to get mental health services but everyone says it's a meme and they just either feed you copes or pills

I was going to try and get a shit job by my brother calls people who work shit jobs losers and it just killed my motivation but he's a vicious normie compared to me, I saw pics of him fuckign stacie and it made me want to sui. I hate life

My family, life and everything is fucked at best I'm just dragging myself through life...but still my survival instincts and manchild mind still wants to keep going, it's all cope. I live in a world of infinite complexity but your life boils down to your shit genes. If you had good genes you would make it out of any situation, I really am just garbage.

Yeah. We are definitely a different species. I went out with my normie friends who I haven't seen in a while and almost deluded myself that I am one of them but deep down I'm not.