I spend too much time ruminating. I carry this vast anger in me. I want to scream in people's faces, and I've been alone too long, and I started talking to people who aren't here, saying the things that I didn't get to say, stuck in a loop. So, I decided that I would just vent on the Internet, scream at the world. I started thinking, maybe I will take all this anger and loneliness and rage and fear and pain, and put it into some sort of early days of Bill Burr type comedy routine, and get up on a stage and say that which cannot be said, since my mind snapped a long time ago and I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I no longer have the mental capacity to be a software developer.
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