I
It happened on a day just like any other; on a cold January morning, a young man, somewhere in his
mid to late twenties, emerged from the subway terminal, having arrived at the capital's downtown core.
He lived in a world that cared only about looks, and many conclusions could be drawn from his own. A
story of defeat was written in his eyes, and he walked with the stride of a man without hope. Ignoring
the harrowing din of the metropolis around him, the young man traversed from one intersection to
another, even ignoring street signs and advance turn signals. Indeed, he could have been struck by an
oncoming vehicle, but he simply did not care. If anything, it would have made his objective that day a
whole lot easier.
The young man's destination was a five star hotel, which stood at the mouth of the city's public square.
Without any sense of hesitation, the young man took the stairwell to the rooftop, and from there, the
iconic city skyline could be seen for many miles in all its majesty. He had envisioned this moment
many times in his dreams; the towers served as a shield from the rays of the rising sun, making the
ground below appear like a dark swelling abyss, the oblivion that makes all men shudder. Everything
the young man had learned about the world and himself had led him to this point, and with a single
step, it would all be worth nothing.
When the street beneath him was clear of pedestrians, the young man leapt from the hotel roof, dying
instantly when his body smashed the pavement below. He had no ID on his person at the time of his
death, so the police and first respondents had named him John Doe.
II
What happened that day in the public square was neither a tragedy or a triumph. Nothing was gained,
nor had anything been lost. Nature had simply taken its course; one day, a young man awoke, saw that
his life was meaningless, and decided to no longer beat against the pinpricks.
In the final years of his life, John learned he had born inferior. This was a product of nature, a force as
mechanical as it is blind; men are born into the world as a product of their genes, existing in a myriad
of innumerable combinations. Some are in turn born better than others, but one cannot choose his place
in the system, and can only progress as far as his genes will allow.
It was for this reason that John had been bullied as a child, had lived a life without friends and was
forced to be alone. He had punished for having a speck in his own eye, but others were forgiven for
having a plank in theirs. The love of a woman was foreign to him, and the approval of his fellow man
was rarely forthcoming. He was forced to pay for things that other people received for free, and had to
struggle to learn things that were supposed to occur naturally.
Standing between him and actualization – the very zenith of human potential, and the goal of all of man
– was the mandatory intermediary of positive reinforcement. It serves as a bridge for most men, but a
barricade for others, and it blocked John's path as an impenetrable monolith. He had spent his life
searching for a way to the top, but nature had forced him to remain at the bottom. An invisible line was
drawn in the sand; this is as far as you can go, and no farther!
Learning that he was powerless, he watched as his superiors ascended beyond him. He saw how they
were treated better, even if their wrongdoings had far surpassed his own. When he received
punishment, his superiors received clemency, while others would assume the best of them, and always
think highly of them. It was as though a bright halo was shining on their heads, blinding those around
them to whatever faults they might harbor.
What was it that made John so different from the others? He had born with an unattractive face, he was
a few inches too short and had been losing his hair from a early age. His appearance had stirred an
unconscious repulsion in others, as man can only love and respect what is beautiful. If John had been
born attractive, and therefore superior, people would have certainly flocked to him, and he would have
never experienced abuse or forced isolation from his peers. Perhaps then he would have known the love
of a woman – or perhaps even dozens – and all of his flaws and shortcomings might have been quickly
ignored or forgotten.
His face may have been the cause of poor treatment in his youth, but by the time he came of age, such
treatment was largely replaced with indifference. He was surrounded by others, but they didn’t know
him; He would look into their eyes, but they would hardly return his gaze. He was like a ghost or mere
vapor that people would simply pass through. It was at this point that he saw the true nature of himself.
He was not a member of a social species, but of a tribal animal, one whose desire to exclude will
always trump its desire to belong. Those born with good genes are welcomed to the fire, but the inferior
must live without ever feeling its warmth.
All men want to be loved, but failing that admired. John tried to escape his destitution with acts of
charity and kindness, but was soon forced to learn he was not living in a world of merit. His acts of
kindness were viewed with suspicion, and any ill conduct would eclipse all of the good that he done.
Whenever he was excluded, it was not a punishment for wrongdoing; it was because he could never
live up to society's standards of a 'desirable man . It is the nature of man (and more so of women) to
antagonize those they perceive to be inferior to themselves, while using the behavior of a man – the
things he can control – as a justification to punish him for what he can’t control. If actions truly speak
louder than words, then genetics resonate far louder than them both, and in the case of John and others
like him, the message was clear:
This man is inferior, and he is not worth your time. He is to be avoided, and is not worthy of your
attention. He must be a bad person, and he deserves to be alone. Why should anyone care about him?
Why should anyone hire him, when he's clearly lazy and incompetent? No woman could love him; he is
creepy and ugly, and his presence disgusting. His kindness obviously masks a nefarious agenda, and
should never be trusted. He is a waste of space and air, and it were better if he were never born.
At last, in the very end, John had finally stopped resisting. In the past, he had hoped to flee from the
abyss – the great terror of discovering the futility of life – but no matter where he turned, it was always
there to face him. There had been nothing to strive towards, but only one thing to escape from, and yet
in spite of all his efforts, which were largely in vain, not a single lasting protection had ever been
found.
It was not uncommon for John to curse his fate in his youth, in the same way a man might curse the sky
if it rains. But when he finally awoke and learned the truth about himself, he took refuge in the fact that
he had never had a choice. The most important things in life are beyond a mans control, and if a man
cannot attain them, then what is the point of life at all?
Part 3 beginning
Part 3 end
Part 4 beginning
Part 4 END
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