honestly, fuck whomever governs this hellish realm
Gnostics say it's Demiurge AKA the Old Testament God
some Christians say it's Satan
some Satanists say it's ackshually God, and Satan is the good guy
maybe I'm a genuine retard but religions seem very inaccessible to me
there are many of them, but within each religion you have different groups, denominations, theological schools -- very often it feels like everyone just has his own version of God and will just bend scripture of choice to support that (and the interpretations often make sense; I'm not a Bronze Age Middle Easterner, whatever seems internally logical is fine with me)
if I wanted to give a fair shot at even just major religions, I'd run out of time: there are thousands books, commentaries and people will claim that ackshually you have to read the original languages, so just lemme learn Hebrew, Aramaic, Greek, Arabic, Pali, Sankskrit and whatever
everything seems so complex and finding one answer just creates more questions
I'm not a huge fan of Christianity as practiced by many modern Christians, because they really seem obsessed with mercy and "mercy" is very often just a synonym for accepting evil
>bro, who are you to hate child rapists, you're not perfect yourself
>Stacy may have ridden the cock carousel all her life but she's, like, very sorry now, so you have to forgive her
I'd rather see God who is only just, not merciful, I can even go to hell myself if that means punishing evil
I hate when Christians pull this shtick "noooo, you can't judge, you're also a sinner! you can't call out Jeremy Meeks and his worshipers, you're also evil because you coom occasionally or feel hate which is also evil! you also must forgive him because he's, like, very sorry! "
there are also of course based Christians who will pull out a different interpretation, because justice is also important to God in the Bible, obviously, but I can't even tell who's actually right, because there seems to be infinite ways to read the Bible -- idk, maybe stupidity
I've tried to become religious many times as a form of whitepill -- even if it's not true, it's still beneficial to believe; even if there's no justice at all, I'll sleep better pretending there is
unfortunately I grew up in an athetist if not outright anti-theist home and it all seems like gigalarp for me, I'm not sure if you can grow the religious parts of your brain if you missed that as a child
some Christians said to me
>bro, just pray and read the Bible for some time and Jesus will start speaking to you and you will totally understand everything, just try it, bro
so I tried and it doesn't feel any different to imagining my pony waifu and hoping that maybe I'll meet her after death, even if that's just a giant cope, a desperate wish rather than a genuine conviction
I'm kinda jealous of religiouscels, it seems like a great cope (and hey, maybe it's even real, I'm not ruling anything out), but I can't do it
disclaimer: I wrote a lot about weird Christian interpretations and I understand that random "Christian" Karen's opinion doesn't represent the whole Christianity, I'm just writing about my experience: it's obvious that, as an athetist, I look at modern practice for insight, because I can't just contact the Holy Spirit or whatever and have him say "yup, that interpretation is terrible, ignore modern Christians, just read theologian X, bruh"
