I've come to realize that I have a copious amount of suppressed rage, probably built up over the course of my life since childhood. Due to this, when I was younger I became trapped in a cycle of self hatred and blame.
Projecting my anger outwards at the others was never something I was particularly good at doing, so having no other outlet I would turn on myself. For years I would deny myself food often for days at a time, injure myself in several ways, message hundreds of foids on social media specifically asking them to tell me whether or not they found me attractive(when I already knew what the answer would be), and partake in various other types of risky and usually degrading sorts of behavior. Over the past few years I've become more adept at regulating my emotions, realized that blame is completely pointless, and I've since stopped harming and willfully sabotaging myself. Through both meditation and creative visualization(I recommend these copes), I'm now substantially better at calming myself down in less self destructive ways.
But I'm curious, has anyone else experienced something similar? Having been on this forum for a decent period of time now, it seems to me that when other incels have a destructive way of venting their emotions, it's always directed at the world. Unless we're talking about the incels in denial that languish on IT.
Projecting my anger outwards at the others was never something I was particularly good at doing, so having no other outlet I would turn on myself. For years I would deny myself food often for days at a time, injure myself in several ways, message hundreds of foids on social media specifically asking them to tell me whether or not they found me attractive(when I already knew what the answer would be), and partake in various other types of risky and usually degrading sorts of behavior. Over the past few years I've become more adept at regulating my emotions, realized that blame is completely pointless, and I've since stopped harming and willfully sabotaging myself. Through both meditation and creative visualization(I recommend these copes), I'm now substantially better at calming myself down in less self destructive ways.
But I'm curious, has anyone else experienced something similar? Having been on this forum for a decent period of time now, it seems to me that when other incels have a destructive way of venting their emotions, it's always directed at the world. Unless we're talking about the incels in denial that languish on IT.
