Serious Anyone else struggle with self abuse?

[Deleted member 8353]

I've come to realize that I have a copious amount of suppressed rage, probably built up over the course of my life since childhood. Due to this, when I was younger I became trapped in a cycle of self hatred and blame.

Projecting my anger outwards at the others was never something I was particularly good at doing, so having no other outlet I would turn on myself. For years I would deny myself food often for days at a time, injure myself in several ways, message hundreds of foids on social media specifically asking them to tell me whether or not they found me attractive(when I already knew what the answer would be), and partake in various other types of risky and usually degrading sorts of behavior. Over the past few years I've become more adept at regulating my emotions, realized that blame is completely pointless, and I've since stopped harming and willfully sabotaging myself. Through both meditation and creative visualization(I recommend these copes), I'm now substantially better at calming myself down in less self destructive ways.

But I'm curious, has anyone else experienced something similar? Having been on this forum for a decent period of time now, it seems to me that when other incels have a destructive way of venting their emotions, it's always directed at the world. Unless we're talking about the incels in denial that languish on IT.

 

[NEETAndTidy]

I abuse my body with alcohol. Love to disassociate with drugs. Just generally hate myself.

Too chicken shit to rope so I hope I just die young

 

[Evildoer]

That's interesting way of your development, tbh. I always had anger on everyone else but me. Nothing was my fault, why should i hate myself for that?

 

[Deleted member 8353]

That's interesting way of your development, tbh. I always had anger on everyone else but me. Nothing was my fault, why should i hate myself for that?

Honestly, it took me a long time to accept that my joke of an existence really was due to no fault of my own.

 

[universallyabhorred]

I too used to have low self esteem and hate myself, I also blamed myself for negative social interactions, the blackpill freed me from such thought as it made me realize that all of humanity is scum. Hurting yourself should never be an option, unless it is suicide, you should find ways to direct that rage onto the people that desERve it the most. It does not have to be illegal you could find many subtle passive aggressive ways to get revenge. PM me if you want ideas.

 

[Deleted member 9192]

Google "Pete walker how to handle emotional flashbacks" ironically you got intuitively a few steps right but theres even more you can do to help yourself

 

[Deleted member 8353]

Google "Pete walker how to handle emotional flashbacks" ironically you got intuitively a few steps right but theres even more you can do to help yourself

You're right, this seems to be what I was describing from introspection.

 

[Deleted member 9192]

You're right, this seems to be what I was describing from introspection.

I can recommend the whole website of his to you tbh, theres a lot of great copes and also hope on there