anyone else really stressed?

[opsec]

i had a previous thread about how my hair is graying. i pulled out a lockette and it is literally growing in gray and im frikking 19. repeat, my hair is now gray at 19. it is partly genetics though. my cousins hair was fully gray at 24 but i think im way early.

i go to a really expensive university and i have 7-12 hour days at school + probation garbage to sift through.

every night i go to sleep with a massive stone on my chest. the good news is my lawyer says thers a way to clear my felony conviction but its going to be even more work than what im doing now.

i made a lot of money when i was younger working my job, i went to school 7am-3pm and worked 3:30-10:00pm every day for two years and saved all that money. i could have spent it on something but instead im paying court and lawyers and i also am paying school, and my family is helpnig but theres so much stress. one mistake and i go to prison.

even when i finish all of this garbage, i enter the next garbage, my career. working in general, is there any place ANYONE enjoys working at? with a pay more than 20k/year like i got at my old job?

and when i think about money, it terrorizes me. it is not just money. it is time and labor of my life. i dont see spending $10 as spending $10, but laboring a really horrible job for one hour being converted into whatever goods or court whatever the hell i pay for. my time and labor is all my resources. why cant kindness be used as a form? the world isnt quite that simple unfortunately.

i think i want to get a minor in business on top of my major. but this is a lifetime of stress. how is it even possible to circumvent this stress? my entire life has been stress stress stress, ive never been happy.

take all of that and factor in the idea that ive never held a girls hand or been viewed as something as worthy of basic human rights treatment. whats the point of living if i cant feel happy?

i put Allah as #1 as much as i can but i need to do it even more. the only thing that keeps me going is the hadith of how if i use a shotgun to the head im going to be shotgunned in the head in jahanam for eternity, i dont want it, and this verse

[font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا - 94:6[/font]
For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.

inshAllah i will be releived somehow. the only way Allah could make me happy right now is by getting hit by a truck and going to jannah. this dunya is absolutely murderous to who i am and what i want

 

[blickpall]

We are in very similar positions to be honest. VERY similar. I am quite a bit older and farther along than you in all of the things you are doing (uni, work, legal problems) and I can tell you firsthand that the stress doesn't get any better. You just have to have better copes, more discipline, and more resolve. I just received my grades for the last semester and while they were truly great, I felt joy for maybe 10 minutes and then it passes because I know that next semester is going to be even harder. I slept 3 hours per night for around a week during the last week of semester, and then again for 4 days straight until this morning when I finally got 8 hours of sleep, all because of work and because I keep piling my plate high with things to do. We cause this stress to ourselves, but you have to always remind yourself that the stress is a symptom not a cause.

There is also evidence showing that how one views stress affects how one experiences it. You need to change how you perceive stress in order to cope with it better. So-called positive stress, or eustress, can be seen as a motivator. You can use Google Scholar to find out more about it if you wish.

 

[jagged0]

We are in very similar positions to be honest. VERY similar. I am quite a bit older and farther along than you in all of the things you are doing (uni, work, legal problems) and I can tell you firsthand that the stress doesn't get any better. You just have to have better copes, more discipline, and more resolve. I just received my grades for the last semester and while they were truly great, I felt joy for maybe 10 minutes and then it passes because I know that next semester is going to be even harder. I slept 3 hours per night for around a week during the last week of semester, and then again for 4 days straight until this morning when I finally got 8 hours of sleep, all because of work and because I keep piling my plate high with things to do. We cause this stress to ourselves, but you have to always remind yourself that the stress is a symptom not a cause.

There is also evidence showing that how one views stress affects how one experiences it. You need to change how you perceive stress in order to cope with it better. So-called positive stress, or eustress, can be seen as a motivator. You can use Google Scholar to find out more about it if you wish.

I blame roasties, you'd be stress free if a femoid just fucked you.

 

[blickpall]

I blame roasties, you'd be stress free if a femoid just fucked you.

If I had to deal with managing female expectations on top of everything I'd probably not have made it through this semester to be honest. Sure it can be cathartic and help you cope a lot, but women bring a whole new level of stress with them as well. Dealing with my family was bad enough.

 

[nausea]

they push my buttons they win happy time